McDonald's Miracles

Walking, dancing, singing

2012-01-13T22:14:00.001-05:00

Lochlan went to the Ear Nose and Throat clinic a few weeks ago and we were told that he may need to have ear tubes put in to help drain the congestion in his ear. I was quite surprised to hear this as I really think that he hears quite well. And he does but if I remember correctly it was the super low frequencies in his one ear. So he has a follow up appointment in a few months and we'll know then if they need to schedule the surgery or not. Hopefully not! He'd have to go under again and yeah, that's a little nerve-wracking and brings back a lot of memories.

He is doing so well these days. He's walking all the time. Falling down quite a bit but walking. It's so cute. Especially outside in the snow. Today he literally giggled as he walked out the door and down the walkway. (as a side note he started walking more than crawling just after the New Year - around Jan 2nd or 3rd.

Here is a super short video of him walking (and falling down!) He was very tired. He does fall down quite a bit but usually not that much!

And his vocabulary is increasing on a daily basis. He really likes to repeat words and expressions.

His favourite words these days: toast, no (or no no no!), apple (applies to oranges too), peeze (please), juice (really just means a drink), hello, bye bye, baby, Ab (for Abby), cheese

He also likes to sing "Bob, the Builder" from the theme song, and told me the other morning "mama, the toast popped!" And he gave something to Abby once and said "here you go!"

It's nice to be able to have a little bit of an understanding of what he's trying to say. He totally gets what we're saying. Well most of it anyway!

He's got a full set of teeth now. He cut the majority of the last ones all at once. I remember looking in his mouth and seeing so many pieces poking through at the same time. Poor thing! But now they are all in! Good job buddy!

I gave him his first haircut just before Christmas. We were over the mullet look. Poppa held him, I trimmed the back of his hair and Nana took some pics. (which I have to get a copy of!)

Abby's due for one. I'm thinking of getting it all cut off nice and short. Not boyish but short enough that it won't get tangled. She hates having her hair brushed. And anytime I put it up, or do anything nice with it, it's a struggle to get done and then 5-10mins later, it's out and messed up again. So we'll cut it off and then let it grow and it should be long again for when she starts school in the fall.

We've been doing some Pre-K books. We call it her "homework." She really loves it and is quite good at answering the questions or doing what it asks. Hoping and praying she'll be as excited years down the road!

It's hard to believe that Abby will be starting school this year and that Lochlan will be 2 in less than 4 months. They've both had big growth spurts. Abby outgrew pretty much all of her clothes in the last few weeks. Had to have a mini shopping spree for her! And Lochlan is growing growing growing too! Almost in 18 months jammies. Still getting away with the 12 months size but they are getting a little short on his arms and his legs are almost too long for them now too. So in a few weeks I'm sure we'll be making that transition! Amazing to think he was in 0-3, and 3-6 months clothes for a year and now in the last 6 months, he's jumped sizes so fast! He wears 12 months pants now too!!! His waist has finally caught up! So he wears 12-18 months clothes. Woo-hoo!

And I think he's about 19-20 pounds. The stinker won't let me put him on the scale! And I haven't taken the time to weigh him in my arms and subtract the difference. He doesn't have an official doctor's appointment until March 19th with Dr. Moore. Hopefully by then he'll be 22 pounds. That's the goal I'm setting!

Anyway, here are a pics and videos to enjoy!

Lochlan dancing with Abby and Ryan

And Abby singing an original song:

Christmas post coming soon

2012-01-07T21:11:00.002-05:00

So much to update! We have a walker! It was quite a moment for me tonight when I got home from work that Lochlan walked to greet me saying "momma" rather than crawling at a high speed!
He walks 95% of the time now. Actually could be closer to 99%! lol

A huge milestone!

More to come...

Pre-Christmas

2011-12-22T13:31:00.000-05:00

Whoah. Have it really been almost a month since my last post?! Whoops!

Lochlan is doing amazing! He's taking more steps these days. Getting much braver and a bit of a dare devil as well. He loves to climb things. Leave a stool or even a big box of pop on the floor, and he'll climb it to reach the counter or whatever. He even once climbed the kitchen chair and climbed onto the kitchen table. Hmm....no thanks buddy!

Abby and I enjoyed baking some shortbread cookies together. She had a lot of fun decorating them too!

Lochlan had his first haircut on Tuesday. (Dec 20th) I was tired of looking at his shaggy mullet. Poor thing. I know Rob wasn't a big fan either. So I said, okay, I'm doing it! Dad held him, mom and Abby supervised while I took the scissors and trimmed his hair. Looks SOOO much better! And he was a great sport! Mom took the picture with her camera so I'll have to get a copy of it.

He is also saying some new words. "Baby" being one of them. He'll see a picture of a baby in a book, and point to it and say "baby." Other words: cracker, bye, hello, truck, Ab

So cute that he calls Abby, Ab!!

He's also getting pretty much every tooth that he still needs all at once. That boy has a mouth full of teeth!!! But he's been handling it like a champ!

Lochlan enjoying a fajita! Such a good lil eater these days!

We're so excited for Christmas. We've managed to get all of our shopping done ahead of time so we don't have to be out fighting the crowds and also have all of the food bought so now it's just a matter of prepping it and tidying up. I feel way less stressed this Christmas. That was my plan. To get everything done ahead of time. I knew that I would be working a lot and I'm even working Christmas Eve 9:30-6 so I have no time to do anything really that day. I just have to wrap a few presents and we're all good to go! Whew!

I took Lochlan and Abby to playgroup Thursday morning. They really enjoy themselves. Lochlan did his first painting! He loved it! It was quite funny - Abby did her painting, Lochlan watched her, then climbed up onto the chair as if to say, hello, it's my turn!! So Tamara helped him with his first painting and I took a few pictures! Granny came to take my place while I went to work.

Merry Christmas everyone! More pictures and video to come!

almost walking!

2011-11-24T22:00:00.000-05:00

On Friday (November 25th) Lochlan took 2 steps to show off in front of Granny. He's soooo close to walking! He's very eager and I have no doubt that he will be walking by Christmas. Look out world!
And just when we thought we were busy now!!! eek! It's exciting though. It's been a long time coming that's for sure. He's got a bit of a daredevil streak in him. He really loves to climb. I know I've mentioned this in a previous blog but his most recent thing to climb is up on Abby's bed. Good times. So now we can't really play in Abby's room without him crawling up on her bed and being so excited that he all but rolls off the bed!

He accomplished a few more things this week: He got his 9th tooth. (and 10th!) I didn't notice until it was fully in! It is one of his chewing teeth...the bottom right back molar.

And I noticed his 10th tooth poking through a few days ago. His top left tooth that's beside the eye tooth. I would never make a great dentist! I can't even name the teeth! But really I doubt it will matter what tooth came in when, in the future! Just as long as he gets all his teeth! Which can sometimes be an issue for preemies. Something to do with what happens during childbirth....somethings released....I don't know. I'm trying to search my memory but it seems to be failing me slightly at this moment. I just know that there was a bit of concern when I was doing some research about him having some teeth issues.

Here he is looking pretty handsome in his lil dress shirt and tie! All dolled up for Christmas pictures! You'll have to wait to see the final result!

He has also been saying some more words lately. He said "cracker" and sang/hummed the tune of "Old MacDonald" when he was looking at the book. He also likes to "sing" along to his bedtime song "Goodnight sweetheart" which is super cute. He babbles through it then leans in and gives me a big kiss! Which is another word he likes to say too: "kiss." And he's been attempting the ABC song too! Love it!

He gets very interested in the lights on the oven and wants to be picked up to see it. Or, I should say, touch it! Of course he wants to try to touch the lights so if there is a pot on the stove, I'll say "hot" and he says it back.

Other words: "quack quack", "nana" (not said together! ha ha)

Loch's starting to feed himself with a spoon. He is so funny. He'll give this big grin and you can just tell how happy he is to be doing it himself. In fact, sometimes he'll only let you feed him, IF he's holding a spoon too!

Sunday night we decorated our Christmas tree and put up somedecorations. Abby totally thought Santa was coming that night. Such asweetheart. She even got some snacks for Santa: 2 pears, some carrots,and some peas! I told her that Santa wasn't coming that night but shesaid "mom, mom, mom, it's okay! Santa needs a snack!" So I just leftthem out and hoped she wouldn't be too disppointed in the morning. Robexplained again before bed that he doesn't come until next month. I'lladmit though, she did hang her head for a bit Monday morning and said,"oh, Santa didn't come!" We did make a point of saying that an elf must have come and took the snack to Santa. (when it was gone later)

Rob tried to give some suggestions as to what she should leavefor Santa on Christmas eve. He told her he thought we should leave abeer and maybe a turkey sandwich. She said, "No Dad! 2 pears, carrots,and some peas....and a beer!" Fair enough! Let's see what happens nextmonth!

Yesterday morning we awoke to snow on the ground. (and freezing rain actually) Lochlan seemed pretty fascinated watching the snow fall but he wasn't overly thrilled with his snowsuit and gloves and new boots. I think he felt very restricted so he wasn't outside long. It will make a big difference when he's able to walk for sure. Abby on the other hand was out the door in her jammies pretty much when she got out of bed. She did manage to put on her coat and hat and boots and my gloves. She was all ready to build a snowman right then and there! She came back inside and said "mom, it's all snowy and crunchy! You've got to try this!"

We ended up having to delay our snowman building for a few hours since Lochlan needed boots. Why I hadn't got them up to this point, I have no idea! When we did finally get to build the snowman, she was in heaven. She just loves being outside. And LOVES the snow. She's been wanting snow for at least a month now! She was a little bummed that the snow was melting this morning. I told her not to worry - that it would be back! She actually said "Mom, do we need to take down the decorations now that the snow is all melted?" Um no...

I managed to capture Lochlan nodding his head the other day. So cute! It's the big grin that accompanies it that makes it that much cuter! Enjoy!

Nod your head!

2011-11-14T20:30:00.000-05:00

Lochlan's latest achievement is nodding his head "yes." He has nodded in the past, but this week it's all about nodding yes to questions such as do you want your milk/bottle or my fav - do you want to go for a nap?

He nods his head, I put him down and he's out for at least 2 hours! YES!!!! Nod that head boy! lol

Julie, from infant development came by for a visit on Wednesday. Lochlan has been discharged from the program!!! She left me some sheets to check off for when he gets to 18 months corrected and if there are any concerns to contact her and she'll reopen the file.

He will still go to the special infant clinic for his development in February. This was just an extra program that was offered because he was so early. It was more an at risk program. She said that it is just a matter of time before he starts doing some things. He is showing lots of signs already. He's standing up. He's going up on one knee. He even took one small step last week before falling! So exciting!

Yesterday (Sunday) he started saying "momma." He had said it a few times in the past but it was more of a random thing. But now it's specific to me! LOVE it!

He nodded his head "no" today too. Usually it's no they master first, but his has been "yes." And I swear he said "cracker" tonight as well as, oh silly me, I forget. But I think it was the letter "k" he repeated back to me while he was in the bathtub.

He totally gets what you say to him. He babbles right along. Or if you say something like "let's go have a bath" he'll go to the bathroom.So incredible.

His hair is growing in quite rapidly too. Soooo time for a haircut. But it's mostly just at the back. You could say he has a mullet! Oh dear! Definitely time for a haircut! Seriously, you can put it in a wee little pony!

Not cool.

Abbyisms

2011-11-07T22:56:00.003-05:00

I'm in the process of writing a new post....

In the meantime, Abby has been saying and doing some really cute things lately! (when is she not really!?) So I invite you to check out my other blog where I try to keep track of the super cute and fun things she comes out with!

www.abbyrosemcdonald.blogspot.com

Happy Oxygeniversary!

2011-10-29T07:00:00.000-04:00

I was trying to come up with an appropriate title to mark the one year anniversary since Lochlan no longer needed to have additional oxygen to help him breathe. (October 29th - Grandpa Bud's birthday!)

One year.

It seems so long ago and yet not all at the same time. I can still remember the struggle to carry around an oxygen tank and be limited in what we could do or where we could go. Little things that you take for granted such as carrying them around to go get something from a different room, giving him a bath, or going to the store.We couldn't do those things without lugging around the oxygen tank which was very awkward. Or worrying that his nose prongs were going to come out and we wouldn't notice right away. Or worse - they'd come out overnight and he'd just slip quietly away. There were a few times as Lochlan got stronger and older that he did pop the prongs out of his nose. Luckily, we were able to put them back in almost immediately and he was fine.

The prongs would get clogged with mucus if he had a cold and needed to be changed frequently. Which was not an easy feat either. I can still hear his cries as we tried to gently take the tape off his cheeks. No matter how slowly you tried to take it off, it still seemed like we were ripping it off. Poor thing!

Lochlan has come a long way. We all have.

These days he is fighting a cold. Last night was a bit brutal. He woke up around 9pm. (which he has done for the past few nights) I gave him some Tylenol since he wouldn't settle and seemed uncomfortable. It took us almost 2 hours to get him back to sleep. Rob went to try to get a filter for the humidifier. (why I hadn't bought one before now is beyond me!) The store didn't have any so he came back with a brand new humidifier! Bless him!! That did the trick. A few sips of water and some more snuggles and Ventolin and Lochlan settled back in for the night! I was worried that it was going to be a rough overnight too but thankfully he slept through until 7:30am! He seemed to be feeling much better this morning and was less congested/snotty. Hopefully he is on the mend. I've had a bit of a scratchy throat the past 3 or 4 days. I keep gargling and taking vitamins in hopes that it doesn't amount to anything. Abby has a bit of a nasty cough too. But it's pretty sporatic.

This past Monday, Lochlan had an eye appointment with Dr. Arthur. He said that his left eye is a bit slower to react to light... or something....just not as strong as his right. He's not doing anything yet, but will see him again in 6 months for a full exam. Praying it gets stronger! No more surgery please. Although I think it would probably be covering his eye with a patch or baby glasses. But I don't know. I wasn't at the appointment so I'm just guessing what would have to be done to help - if anything at all!

My iPod is full so I need to transfer and delete phone and videos. Yikes!!! I wish I'd done that all along! It's a bit daunting when you have 3, 360 files to deal with! Most of them are already uploaded to Facebook or the computer but I want to back them up to DVD or USB. So unfortunately I won't be able to take any pics or videos for a bit. MUST GET ON THAT TRANSFER!!!! Holidays are coming - FAST!!

Anyway, I think that is all for now. Happy Halloween everyone! Have a SPOOK-TACULAR weekend!

Too early for chores?

2011-10-26T22:08:00.001-04:00

Lochlan stood up all by himself without pulling up on anything on Saturday. Oct 22nd. I haven't seen him do it yet but Rob, Abby, and Granny can vouch for it. (It may have been on the Friday actually when he first attempted it!) He's definitely getting close to walking! He also occasionally lets go briefly after he gets himself standing. He stood for about 5 seconds the other day before losing his balance and landing on his bum.

As promised, here are some pics and video from the last week:

Abby and Lochlan playing "store" together at the playground

Diggin' his new hat courtesy of Kerry, Blake & Clara

"I'll take a wood chip please!"

Lovin' each other

Love this pic


And this one too! Playing "Superheroes!" Video to come!

My friend, Kerry came for a visit last week. We had a great time catching up and watching our kids play with one another. It was the first time they had all met. Super cute moments! She was so sad when it came time for them to go home! (as you can see in the picture!)
I have no idea where Abby came up with the game "Jungle World" but she loved playing it with Blake. Towards the end of the video, Lochlan shows off how he can climb down and up the stairs!

Abby was a little sad as you can see that Blake was leaving! Poor thing!

Look closely!

YES! Cheerio legs! Still have no idea how that happened!

The gang! And Lochlan colouring!

Abby being her hilarious little self! Love her! Mind the messy toy room!

Lochlan helping with the laundry!

Is it too early to start chores?! ha ha

Snuggle monkey

2011-10-21T14:01:00.002-04:00

Lochlan is a bit under the weather these past few days. Something is just a bit off. His two new teeth are taking forever to come up entirely but I don't think that is the issue. He has had a low grade fever but sometimes is happy and content and other times he just wants extra snuggles.

He really gives good snuggles. He wraps his little arms right around your neck and snuggles in. I love it. One of my favourite moments in when I get home after being away for either work or whatever other reason and Abby runs to me and gives me a big hug and Lochlan comes crawling as fast as he can for me to pick him up. And he gives me the best hug too! *sigh*

I weighed Loch last night and if my calculations are correct, he is 18 pounds. It's not a digital scale so it was tough to look down and see while holding him but I know he's at least 18 pounds, if not 19. So I'm going to go with 18 1/2 pounds!!! lol

We'll find out for sure next month when he sees Dr. Moore.

On Monday, he has an appointment with Dr. Arthur. I hadn't for some reason put it in my calendar so I knew he should be having an appointment soon but didn't realize it was for Monday until they called. I am scheduled to work but hopefully Rob can take him as it's a PA day even though he still has to work that day. Or else I'll have to try to switch my shift or get someone else to take him. It'll all work out I'm sure.

I encourage you to check out my other blog about all the funny things that Abby says as todays post is a good one! Abbyisms

Abby, Rob and I had a special movie night the other day. We watched Beauty and the Beast in 3D. Loving our new TV. And I still love that movie! It's nice that she can sit through an entire movie now. Might have to schedule a movie date at the theatre soon! (when the right one comes along of course)

I've got a few cute pics to post and I'll try to put them up soon. And a video too I think if I remember correctly.

Copycat, Hopscotch & Thanksgiving

2011-10-15T23:34:00.000-04:00

Lochlan continues to be a champion! He is so incredible. Sometimes I just look at him and smile. Quite a normal thing to do when you look at your children. But with him, I find it sums up so many emotions and blessings in that smile. I am in awe of him. He has quite the personality. He is mister copycat these days. You say "caw" or "quack" or whatever, and he does it right back! It's hilarious! And the best thing is, he finds it hilarious too! He's like, oh yeah, look at me!!!

He will point to some of his body parts now too when you ask him. Such as his nose, ears, mouth, head. He's also doing the finger over the lips sound. So funny!

And he's quite chatty. I'm sure he's trying to carry on a conversation. Oh, soooo cute: Lochlan said "Poppa" last Thursday. (Oct 6th)

And God bless him, he's finally sleeping consistently through the night! I tell ya, we are blessed! I feel like my days are less tiring and I am more focused and patient! So for all the moms and dads out there that are in sleep deprivation mode - I feel you!!! Hang in! It gets easier.

Abby still occasionally wakes up at some point in the night and comes crawling into our bed. Most nights that happens, we move her right back after a few minutes of snuggle time. But lately, it's been early morning like 5am, so we're okay with her staying snuggled up in our bed for the last hour. This morning I slid out of bed to get ready for work and Abby and Rob were still sleeping and I took a moment to just watch them sleeping. Just a moment - nothing creepy!! I didn't stare at them for 5 minutes or anything!! Just a quick glance and then a smile. Then I heard Lochlan stirring and chatting away probably saying something like, "mommy, I'm awake - come and get me!!"

My family. *sigh*

He loves his giraffe.

Cheese!

Trying to feed himself!

Lochlan popped two more teeth in the past few days. The lower stomach teeth. So he now has a total of 8 teeth! And believe me, he knows how to use them!
*Note: Do not put your fingers in his mouth or they will get bitten!*

I really need to get him a toothbrush because when I try to brush his teeth, he just bites me!!!! (I just use a wet face cloth) I remember being way more proactive and consistent with Abby's teeth when she was 1. I really need to take care of Lochlan's!

Waiting for mommy with Granny.
He looked so big sitting on Granny's knee! Nice lip buddy!

Her new favourite activity: hopscotch!
Thanks Max & Ruby!

Lochlan probably watching 4 Square.
He loves climbing in and out of the chair.

Up, up and away!

He briefly let go the other day and was standing all by himself!

We had a great Thanksgiving weekend. The weather was incredible. So warm and sunshiney. Really made me crave summer again! But I love the fall colours and cooler weather and wearing comfy sweaters and pants. The only downside for the weekend is that it went by too fast! I feel like you visit with your family, but there's never enough time to truly get in a good visit.

The other day, between teaching and going to work at Costco, I had a few hours and met up with my best friend, Danielle and her two boys, as well as with Abby and Lochlan at one of the parks. The kids had a blast! Running around, playing in the sand, the slides, swings, hide and seek. It was so nice. I love seeing the kids running around with huge smiles on their faces. Makes me happy too. I managed to get a few pictures. Abby was a bit reluctant to get her picture taken but I managed to get a smile out of her by telling her not to smile!!

Don't smile! Don't you do it!

Ta da! Love this pic of her!

Love this pic too! Handsome boy!

Abby keeps talking about Halloween. She wanted to be a princess for the past few months and now she's saying she wants to be a duck! What? A duck? Where did this come from? Hopefully the princess idea will fly because I already have the costume. (Not that she wouldn't get use out of it since she can use it for dressup) Lochlan is going to be a monkey. And I can't wait to show you pictures!!! They are adorable! In the meantime, I'll show you the pic of Abby trying on Lochlan's costume! ha ha

Cheeky monkey!

100th post!

2011-09-20T22:45:00.001-04:00

Thank you for following along on our journey. This marks my 100th blog post. Not bad for starting it not quite a year and a half ago. Although I really do blog in my mind on a daily basis.

Life has been pretty busy lately. Although who I am kidding - it's always been busy. Isn't that just the way it goes. It's a different kind of busy these days. Juggling family life, supply teaching, and my new job. I love being at home with Abby and Lochlan but it's been nice to get out there. I feel like I'm sort of finding myself again. Not that I ever lost myself but you get in a zone and it's nice to realize that I'm more than just mom. And believe me I love being a mom.

Thanks to both my parents and Rob's parents for looking after Abby and Lochlan while we are working. We are very fortunate and very, VERY thankful.

Lochlan has been growing, growing, growing, and then growing some more! I swear he's had such a big growth spurt that he skipped a size! I dug out some clothes over the weekend that have been sitting in his closet for a very very long time. (12 months and even some 12-18 months) Well, some of the 12-18 month onesies are not fitting! They are too short in the torso!!!! What???? Come again? I just bought 9 months jammies and even they are getting close to not fitting. Crazy. So he's busy catching up with growing which I'm totally okay with! But wowzers!!!!

He's been cruising along the furniture quite a bit. In fact, he pretty much doesn't stop! He's learning to crawl down the stairs - let me rephrase that, he's learning to slide down on his belly down the stairs. Which is a bit comforting to know we are slowly on our way to not having to be too on edge when he gets too close to the stairs. He definitely keeps us on our toes though.

Lochlan's also showing off more of his personality. He's starting to flirt and do the squinty eye thing and smile. (where he scrunches up his face and laughs) He loves to laugh. And he loves to climb!

In fact the other day, he climbed of of his highchair. Yes, good times! Thankfully, he was okay. But his straps were definitely tightened and I refuse to leave him for one minute. (Abby had needed some help in the bathroom)

Speaking of Abby, she is a wonderful three year old. In all the ways that means. She has definitely been challenging and competing for her independence at times. She can go from a full out temper tantrum, to the most loving, hilarious, intelligent, hug-able little girl. She is amazing -tantrums and all. The best part is, she has the ability to recognize her wrongs sometimes and apologize for them. Sometimes without prompting even. We are blessed.

She actually took a big bite (or three) out of this watermelon!

Cute? I believe so.

This is actually a pillowcase - part of her new sheet set.

And the best blessing of all is how much Abby and Lochlan love each other. So cute. Abby was away for the weekend and she told my mom "Nana, I want to see my buddy, Lochlan." And when I mentioned to Lochlan, "Ready to go get Abby?" He got so excited and with a big smile and kicking of the feet in his car seat said "yeah!"

Out for our morning stroll.

Abby's newest thing is putting on Lochlan's clothes! And they fit! (Minus the length!)

Abby loves to make silly faces at Lochlan and he loves it too!

I really believe that they will have a very close relationship over the years. (sending a prayer they do too!)

Bliss.

One month later...

2011-09-07T22:32:00.000-04:00

Whoah! Has it really been a month since I blogged last? That's crazy! And I'm sorry to those of you that try to follow on a regular basis. This past month has been busy. We had Lochlan's home-iversary which I'll get to and then I started a new job at Costco. Mat leave is officially over! : ( So sad, yet exciting at the same time. I'm really looking forward to the many great things that are to come in our lives. This time next year, Abby will be starting school. She keeps talking about school and how right now she's only three and that when she's four, she's going to school. So cute! Hope that enthusiasm keeps up! She even likes to do her "homework." I have some pre-k workbooks that we do together. It's a start anyway.

I've been working full time hours but was only hired for 0 hours! Not sure how I'm going to juggle it all with supply teaching, but I'm confident it will all work out. Rob's back to school now too with the start of the new school year yesterday. It was so nice to have him home for the summer. We really enjoyed a lovely summer together as a family. (already can't wait for next summer!)

Oh dear, I just realized all my pictures are downstairs on the other computer. I will post new pics tomorrow! Promise!

Right now, I'm trying to remember what happened in the last month.

Lochlan had a doctor's appointment with Dr. Moore, his pediatrician early last week. He is 16lbs, 4 1/4 ounces and is 28 1/2 inches long! He is now moved into the next size of jammies! I found that out in the middle of the night last week! He woke up, and was dressed in shorts style jammies and wouldn't settle so I decided to change him into full on jammies. I put on one pair, and they didn't fit. By a long shot actually. So yes, we are now into 9-12 month sizes for pajamas! Still wearing 3-6 months shorts and pants mostly, but is slowly moving into the 6-9 sizes as well. So strange to think that at 16 months, he's still wearing those sizes!!!

Slowly catching up though. At this rate, he should be 24 pounds by the time he's two!

Dr. Moore is very pleased with his progress. Weight gain included. And developmentally, he's amazing! He's cruising furniture and still crawling around at lightning speed. He's pointing and signing "more" and waving bye bye, and even saying a few words! I think his favourite is Dada, although he's been saying "daddy' lately too. More like dad-dee. And he says "yes" or "yeah", and tank tu (thank you) or tanks (thanks) He's said "mama" before too but I haven't heard it in a very long time. : (

I've been trying to write down some of the cute things that Abby says. I started a blog about it if you're interested in a chuckle of two. It's www.abbyrosemcdonald.blogspot.com

Anyway, Lochlan's Home-ivesary was great. It was nice to have both sides of our family here. We did it potluck style which worked out perfectly. I really wish that I'd written it down way before now because I know that I had much more to say about it. Right now, I'm tired and can't seem to put all that I had wanted to say into words. I'll get some pics posted tomorrow and perhaps backblog a bit too!

Thanks for following along.
Jenn

uh oh!

2011-08-07T16:30:00.000-04:00

It's official. Nursing is now finished. Lochlan had been weaning himself over the past few months. It got to the point where it made me a bit frustrated and sad to have him push me away or laugh. So I gave in and tried only nursing him in the morning and before bed, and if he woke up overnight. He gave up the before bed pretty quick.

So I was down to when he woke up in the morning. I really wasn't letting down anymore so I decided that when I woke up August 1st, that that was the magic day. He's been doing fine. Loves his sippy. Problem is he tries to drink it so fast that he sometimes chokes a bit. So I'm debating on trying a bottle overnight. The last few days he's been waking up overnight quite a few times, drinks a tiny bit then goes back to sleep. Frustrating as last night was brutal. But I have to remind myself that he has been sick this week and is just getting back to eating normally. So hoping it's just that he needs the extra calories and not just a snuggle. Don't want to get into that habit. Even though I love his little arms wrapped tightly around my neck. He gives some really great snuggles and that's one of the special moments I'll miss as he gets older.

This week marked a few great moments. Lochlan saying "uh oh!" being one of them.

He had a high fever last week. From Monday to Friday actually. It was 103.7 f on Tuesday night and kept around 101 for most of the week without meds. I had to double dose him if you will...well not double his dose but give him Tylenol and Advil just to bring down the fever. I was going to take him to the doctor's but Friday morning, his fever finally broke. Turned out I'd been under dosing him on the Advil according to his weight. So perhaps that did the trick or he finally fought off what ailed him. It's great having a sister in law that knows all that stuff. Thanks Fiona!

So the fever disappeared and then came the rash. What the? Friday I noticed a faint rash starting to appear but didn't think much of it. Saturday morning however, it was not faint but covered his entire back, belly, chest, neck, and a bit of his face. Abby even had a really red rash on her bottom. So off we went to see the doctor. 3 hours later and we were on our way home again. Lochlan's rash turned out to be a post viral rash and Abby's had faded so ended up being nothing. Glad I went though since they said it will last a few days. I would have been wondering and been concerned. Better to know than have it be something that needed treatment.

The kids were really really good. A bit restless toward the end, but overall I couldn't have been more pleased with their behaviour. Abby did try to be funny and run away on our way back to the car. So frustrating when she does that. Freaks me out. I just wish there was a way I could help her understand how dangerous it is. We'll get there I'm sure. I just have to keep reinforcing how to behave.

So that was our week of minor health issues.

Last weekend we went to a cottage my sister and her husband's family rented for the week. We had a great time. Lochlan loved splashing in the water. Abby went for another boat ride too. She loves it.

We went to a private beach with Danielle and her two boys on Tuesday and had a blast. So much fun. That's when I really noticed that Lochlan was feeling under the weather. My iPod wasn't charged so we only got a few shots after the fun at the beach.

Here's the gang! Love these kids.

We went out to the cottage again on Friday and Abby went "fishing." So cute. I love this shot. The clouds look so neat.

Then yesterday afternoon we went to the Verona Cattails Festival. My friends Jeff and John were singing as The Campfire Boys. Sooooo good. Always love hearing them play. It was awesome to share that with Abby and Lochlan. My parents went too.
When we first got there, Abby got her face painted. She chose the puppy dog. So adorable.

She asked to play golf. So poppa stepped up to the plate. Rob will be thrilled. He hopes she'll play it and make lots of money! ha ha Not sure about that form just yet!

They had a "choo choo train" that Abby absolutely couldn't get enough of. I mean, instant tears when we said she couldn't go again. The lady running it ended up giving her a few free rides. She rode that thing so many times. At least 5x! A couple of times with my dad and a few with me, and then with my mom too. I would have taken Lochlan but it went under a "waterfall" and it was freezing cold. So cute to hear her excitement.

Rob and I celebrated our 4th anniversary on August 3rd. We had a great day even though it rained on our date. We did an amazing race type thing in Kingston. Then hit up an ice cream place. So yummy! It was nice to spend the afternoon together just the two of us. Thanks mom and dad.

And we're coming up on another anniversary - Lochlan's home-iversary! August 16th for that. So that will probably be my next blog. Hopefully one in between.

15lbs and counting...

2011-07-29T16:01:00.001-04:00

That's right, Lochlan is finally over 15 pounds! He's 15lbs, 4 1/2 ounces! 27 1/2 inches long and his noggin' is still 45cm....actually the first time the nursing student measured it, she said 42cm and I was like, are you sure he's lost 3cm, is that possible? So they remeasured and everything is still all there!

I was so very pleased to see that he was now over the 15 pound mark. And that he's grown almost an inch in a few weeks! Woo-hoo! And yet, he's still only about a pound for every month he's been in this world. So maybe we'll crack the 24 pound mark by the time he hits 2!!!

I have been going through his clothes again and trying to organize his drawers. The faster I put stuff in, the faster he pulls it out! Such a game to him. Hilarious! He gets so excited so I don't mind even though it's way more work for me.

I was looking at all the clothes and thinking, man, he's been wearing these for what seems like forever!! He's still in some 3-6months clothes. But we're slowly moving into the 6months stuff. I'm sort of ready to see a new wardrobe really. It's funny how when Abby was a baby, I couldn't keep her in one size - it seemed she'd always outgrow it before she wore it a few times. And it was sad to not see her in them anymore. With Lochlan, I'm so ready for some new stuff!! Although it will soon be fall so I will get my wish soon enough!

Lochlan is now cruising the furniture and I think I mentioned in an earlier post, crawling stairs. What a monkey! You can tell that he is just so proud of himself! (as are we!)

He's starting to form more sounds as well. And I firmly believe that he is saying "thank you". So cute. It's more like a "tank tu" but I'll take it and run with it! It's a start and I'm definitely encouraging it! He likes to lead a simon says type game too! Blake and Owen, my nephews were here yesterday and Lochlan loved getting them to follow his moves.
Check it out! So funny!

Loch had his special infant development clinic on Wednesday (that's why I know his specific weight and height gain) and they were more than pleased with his progress. The speech and language therapist kept saying "he's making great sounds." We are putting him on the waiting list for speech and language as a precaution since he is still considered 'at risk.' They will keep him there until he's 2 and then we'll re-evaluate.

The motor skills therapist was very pleased as well. He's doing everything she was looking for. She said that she has no concerns and that he seems to do things spontaneously so she doesn't see a need to have someone work with him to encourage him to try things.

So proud of our boy. A-MAZ-ING!

I spoke with Julie, the at home Infant Development therapist while we were there and we agreed that we would touch base in October but that she doesn't need to work one on one with him.

So his next doctor's appointment will be September 1st I believe for his 15 month shots (even though he'll be close to 16 months).

Abby has officially moved into the "why" stage. Wow. Fun! Everything is why? But it keeps going and going, so you end up in circles. She loves asking what peoples names are or their age, then it's always followed up with a "why?"....

Last weekend, we went camping with my family. We had a great time. We went tubing again but this time Abby was so not interested. I think she's scared of the water. Just the unknown. I understand. I think I was like her when I was younger too! But I was a bit disappointed cause I really wanted to go tubing with my girl! Maybe next time!

We wrapped up the weekend at my Grandma and Grandpa's farm. They passed many years ago but due to certain circumstances, it's been 9 years since we've been there. It was so great to see our cousins and Aunt & Uncle and to tour the farm. Rob has never been so it was neat to show him around and relive some great memories. And to show Abby & Lochlan as well. I think what I liked best was not only rekindling my friendship with my cousin Ann, but seeing Abby play in areas of the house and land, that I grew up and played in too. I remember balancing on the beams when I was her age, probably older too and it really gave me a moment.

The farm is for sale so we really wanted to go back there and tour around and smile and relive all those awesome memories. So glad we were able to do so and so very thankful. My heart was definitely full that day!

This past week has been pretty busy. I'm trying to job hunt as my mat leave is officially over. It's tough with it being just over a month before school starts up and the supply jobs kick in. I definitely need something to get us through so we can pay our bills! Good times! I finally finished my website for my home business, Sunsinger Creations. I do graphic design for invitations and save the dates, as well as videography for Love Story Videos, and also wedding photography. It's really an all in one for couples getting married or having an anniversary, or a baby. The only thing I haven't added is that I also do disc jockeying. Feel free to check out my website and spread the word!

www.sunsingercreations.com

Here are a few more videos from the past month I didn't get a chance to post. Some from Abby's birthday and the zoo and her cousin's horse show. Oh and Abby is big on playing with her dolls these days so enjoy a very cute video! I wish I had more time to post some of the pics. But Abby is up now from her nap and is ready to play!!

Sad, yet exciting...exciting, yet sad!

2011-07-17T22:05:00.005-04:00

*sigh*
My baby is growing up. Yes, I knew there would be a day when Lochlan no longer needed me to fulfill his nourishment requirements. I just didn't expect it so soon. And at his doing.

Pretty much every time I try to nurse him, he laughs at me and pushes me away. No kidding! It actually makes me sad. My micropreemie is growing up. After pumping for over 3 months while he was in the hospital, anxiously awaiting to nurse him, and finally after waiting about 2 months, it finally happening, my baby has decided that he can do things on his own now! He has finally had a lightbulb moment with the sippy cup and is much more interested in feeding and drinking all by himself. Mr. Independent.

Well okay then. I'm excited that he wants to and it will free up some time for me and make me more independent again but it also pulls a bit on my heart. I had read about how some or most preemies aren't able to nurse and to not get my hopes up and to expect to be bottle feeding or at least doing a combination of the two. And yet, Lochlan continued to defy the odds. He was such a "free champion" (I put that in there for you Danielle & Victor!) that he took to nursing early at 34 weeks! Usually they don't try until around a few weeks later when the sucking reflex kicks in. Not our boy!

I strongly believe that nursing him has given him more strength to fight off infections and to grow and develop and so many more benefits. He is amazing. Have I mentioned how much I love him?

My favourite boys!

We met with Dr. Moore last week and Lochlan is up to 14 pounds, and 11 ounces. He's 26 and 3/4 inches tall, and his head circumference is 45cm. He's a growing machine these days!!! He's touching the length curve and just below the weight curve. He's getting there!!! And that's even the chart for the very low birth weight babies! Maybe at this rate, we'll get to 20 pounds by Christmas! One can hope! (side note: he was 3 pounds, 11 ounces this time last year!)

He is so close to walking now. Starting to walk behind one of his toys as it pushes forward. And he's a stair climber now as well!!! Yikes! Still like lightning as he military crawls all over the place. Although he is starting to go up on his hands and knees a lot more frequently.

He also has started to say "mama", and even "dada" is being used a lot more in context lately. He likes to dance and clap and smile smile smile!

We took Abby and Lochlan to the zoo last Wednesday to celebrate Abigail's 3rd birthday. We had a great time. Was a little disappointed in the lack of animals and the crazy annoying layout but the kids enjoyed it for sure. We went to the Toronto Zoo thinking we'd like to see giraffes, and zebras, and elephants and lions, etc. We should have went to the smaller zoo in Bowmanville but fingers crossed next year we'll do that! It's apparently great for little kids. We shall see...

I'm actually starting to fall asleep. We've been cottaging this past week and Lochlan was up before 5:30 this morning. Argh! I'll have to blog about our adventures another time. (and Abby's birthday party) And I'll have to post picture too. I've set my iPod somewhere safe and of course am having a brain fart to where I put it. Hope I find it soon since I have my calendar and pics and videos I haven't uploaded yet on it.

Til next time,
Jenn

Let this be the start of something!

2011-07-08T07:57:00.014-04:00

Please let us be on to something! Lochlan has been sleeping for almost 12 and a half hours straight. It's almost 8am. This is crazy. Crazy enjoyable!!! I think we really wore him out yesterday. We went to Sydenham lake and had a day of sunshine and fresh air. He napped a little but not nearly as much as if he was at home. There's definitely something to be said about getting outside. Love it!

Abby even had her first tubing experience. She loved it. I didn't get to see her because I stayed back and gave Lochlan his lunch. But she was hitting the waves (Aunt Chrissy was with her) and saying "woo-hoo Aunt Chrissy!" The only part she wasn't a fan of was when they slowed down and ended up tipping over into the lake. But she blames Uncle Brad cause he was driving the boat so Chrissy's off the hook! She's just not fond of getting her face wet. Even in the bathtub she always needs a towel to cover her eyes when we're washing her hair. And swimming too. Hoping she gets over it eventually.

I'll have to post pics and video of that adventure. It's on Mom and Dad's camera. I'll try to have it for next blog which hopefully won't be as long in between blogs.

Lochlan started pointing and also waving on July 1st. Sooo cute. Sometimes he's a cheeky monkey and won't wave on cue but he definitely knows it! He plays us for sure!

We had a great Canada Day. Our street has a block party every year. Last year Rob and I and Abby were invited even though we didn't move until July 31st. Rob's sister lives across the street from us. It was an awesome day! We invited some friends over as well. Water balloon toss which turned into a water fight, bbq, swimming, a few other games and activities, and then a campfire and fireworks! A great day! A great Abby quote was the highlight of my day I think. After talking so much about it being Canada's birthday and decorating a bit and of course having the party, Abby said: "Oh I can't wait to see Canada!" She thought Canada was going to walk through the door for their party!!! So cute!

Lochlan decided that he didn't want to go to sleep though. It was a bit of a nightmare really. Just wouldn't settle. It was very frustrating. He only wants to be held a certain way so you can even have him upright over your shoulder, only cradled on your left arm. You can't sit. Oh no, no sitting. You must stand up! So it took a really long time to settle him that night. I think it was after 11 before he finally fell asleep. Rob and I took turns comforting him. As a result I missed out on the fireworks which I heard were awesome. Or the "best home fireworks EVER!" Oh well, next year will be different.

Abby actually said "mom, do you have any bandages for my ears? The fireworks are too loud!" Love that girl!

Actually Lochlan had been having a hard time the past few weeks with bedtime. Sometimes he'd fall asleep on his own no problem but then would wake up about a half an hour later. And then take a few hours to settle back down again. It was awful. Happy to say the past few days have been much better. But our worst was Sunday night I think. It took 3 hours to get him to sleep. (And he was tired!) But it's been better. It was a half an hour the other day, then 15 mins, and last night it took only 4 mins!! We decided to do the controlled crying. I know some people don't agree but we needed to try something. So glad he's able to self soothe now. (Not the 3 hour night we weren't doing it - that's what made the decision for us to try the technique)

So I think it's helping with the overnight as well. That he's able to self soothe if he wakes up rather than needing to be nursed or rocked or whatever back to sleep. When Abby was a baby, she took to her Lion and cuddled him. Lochlan hasn't taken to anything. Gave up his soother a loooong time ago and isn't attached to a stuffed animal but not for the lack of trying. And isn't attached to a blanket either. Oh well. Nothing to break him from I suppose.

He has his next doctor's appointment on Monday with Dr. Moore his pediatrician. I'm anxious to see his weight and height and talk about a few things. I'm hoping we can ditch one of the cereal feedings and just give him toast or bread or something. And also see what she says about milk. He's sort of taking a sippy cup and will sometimes drink from a bottle. But it's not like he's drinking 5+ ounces in a sitting. More like an ounce or two. If that! So I want to make sure he's getting enough especially since I'm going back to work soon. EEK!

I'm starting to get in the mindset of going back to work. I think I'm ready but obviously if I had a choice, I'd love to stay home with my kids. But there are bills to be paid and perhaps a little sanity break needed as well!!!

Abby's birthday is next week. Can't believe she's going to be 3! We're planning on going to the zoo. Can't wait! And we'll have her kid party next weekend. So I need to plan that!

Okay well, I'm going to check on Lochlan since it's been almost 13 hours now that he's been sleeping. I'm starting to get a little antsy!

We are off to the park today. Should be another great day of sunshine and fresh air. Here's hoping he has another stellar sleep tonight.

It's late and I can't think of a title!

2011-06-26T21:56:00.023-04:00

Lochan had his hearing test last week and "passed with flying colours" is what the technician said. He has a little congestion in his right ear still, so his low frequencies are one notch below perfect but that should go away. Amazing to think that his vision is normal and his hearing is stellar as well! Can I get a whoot whoot?!

He loves to pull himself up these days and military crawl like lightning. He is sooo fast! He is just a happy boy. Smiling pretty much all the time. He does let you know when he wants something though. Usually it has to do with when he's sitting in his high chair waiting for food!! Thankfully he's eating a lot more than just purees so he can feed himself some puffs or fruit pieces or whatever while he waits for his cereal. I'm beginning to think that I can stop giving him his cereal twice a day now that he is eating so well and instead replace one of the servings to a slice of bread. That way he'll still get the iron he needs. I try to vary up the flavour so he's not just getting the same cereal morning and night day after day but still.

We had a nice visit with Rob's dad and his wife yesterday. So nice to see them and catch up. They live a few hours away so we don't get to see them as often as we would like. They definitely saw huge changes in the kids.

I know there is a lot of things I want to blog about but my brain is starting to shut down. I'm getting pretty tired. I spent some time tonight uploading photos and videos and now my brain is mushy to be able to put to page all my thoughts and memories from the last few weeks. So you'll have to stick with me here.

I put Lochlan on our scale the other night out of curiousity and it said 14 pounds. So I'm anxious to see where we're at next month at his next doctor's appointment. I definitely know he's growing!!! So much bigger to maneuver when I'm nursing or carrying him around. And my muscles are starting to feel it more too!!! But that's a good thing!!!

Lochlan has always enjoyed books but lately he's been really getting into our storytime. He really loves "Snuggle Puppy" by Sandra Boynton. Which is great - Abby loved it too! He started saying "ruff ruff" after I say it about the dogs. So cute!

He got his 5th tooth on June 21st. His bottom middle right or as Wendy would say his lower incisor...oh man I don't even know if that's correct without checking your blog Wendy!!! lol

Just know he got another tooth!!! And he decided to test them out for the first time the other day! Not so fun! But thankfully it was a one shot deal and I'm hoping it stays that way!!!!

He also signed "more" the other day but so far I've only seen it the one time. Abby used to sign "more" all the time. I haven't been as diligent with Loch but try to sign it for him as often as I can.

I finally picked up some batteries for the puppy that my Grandma and Uncle Roy got Abby for Christmas. It's so cute. And she loves it and Lochlan loves it too!

I didn't realize she'd "fed" the puppy a barbie! Puppies eat bones...oh dear! Hope it's just a coincidence!

We took the puppy for a walk outside. Needless to say, it's a bit dirty now! Abby wanted to give her a bath. Yeah, that wouldn't work out so well!!

Last week when Rob was getting ready for school, Abby wanted to help him get dressed. He came down looking like this:

He took a spare with him in the car! I told him, don't forget!! Wouldn't that have been funny! A bunch of teenagers wondering why their teacher is wearing a Santa tie!

Happy to report that we have been making progress in the #2 department with Abby. I took her to COPC (Children's Outpatient Clinic) a few weeks ago. We were having a really hard time with getting her to have a poop. She is a withholder and crosses her legs so pretty much none was getting out. So frustrating and stressful for both her and for us. She had some constipation issues in the past and has hung on to that and is scared to poop for fear it will hurt. We've tried everything - ignoring it, talking to her calmly, explaining, incentives, holding her on the potty....all to no avail. Finally I was at my wits end. Plus she had started leaking in her underwear which was a big pain. And quite frankly I was tired of buying pullups just so she could poop!!!
We were there for 2 hours and basically they told us to increase her medication (it's stuff you put in her drink that retains the water in her bowels creating a soft stool) and also to have timed pottytime 10-15 mins, 2-3 times a day. Okay...that is a chore in itself! So I tried that. And she was still crossing her legs and asking for a pullup. Well, I finally decided that since we were running out of pullups to not get anymore to see what would happen. I felt like the meanest mommy on the block but it's working! I have to read her a story over and over but she's been so happy when she does go. She freaks a little when she knows it's about to happen, but I coak her through it and she's been very successful! Really hoping we're turning over a new leaf! I also had bought a toy that she would get if she did 3 big poops on the potty. She's been playing with them the last few bathtimes!!! YAY!!!! Please God, let us get over this issue once and for all!!!

Well I really need to get to bed. It's almost midnight and the morning hours are getting closer and closer and my "why didn't I go to bed earlier" thoughts are starting to kick in. Oh well. Sleep schmeep!"

A few more pics to enjoy:
Abby and daddy "gaming"

Abby being a drama queen and saying she was very upset about something. So cute though. And awful hard to resist!

And Lochlan being all cute as can be.

And one last video of Abby and Lochlan passing the ball. Love my kids.

"Stand up, baby stand up!"

2011-06-11T20:47:00.010-04:00

We have a stander people! Well, he can pull himself up to a standing position when holding onto something. People, boxes, chairs, shelves, etc. He was doing it by holding on to our hands, but today he started doing it all by himself. Amazing!!!!

Must have been that 3 hour and 15 minute nap he had yesterday morning. Prepping himself for his big day!!! We lowered the crib in preparation on May 26th since I could tell it was only a matter of time!

ha ha how funny the freeze frame is him falling over!

Lochlan has had another busy couple of weeks. He now weighs 13 pounds, 5 3/4 ounces and is 26.5 inches tall!!!! So he's growing better! Although really he's like a pound for every month since he's been born! Oh well. We'll take it!

We met with Dr. Flavin just this past Tuesday when we got him weighed and measured. Dr. Flavin is in simple terms, his lung doctor. Lochlan no longer requires his puffers!! zip nadda, zilch!! We finally stopped his Flovent that he was getting. (a puff in the morning, and a puff at night) LOOOONG way from the 2 puffs of Ventolin, 2 puffs of Atrovent, and 3 puffs of Flovent 3 times a day that he was getting in the beginning)

We will have to start the Flovent again September 1st in prep of cold/flu season I'm guessing. He didn't really say but that's what I'm assuming anyway. And if he does get a cold to give him 2 puffs of Flovent morning and night and Ventolin as needed. So we'll always have them nearby.

But that's good enough for me!

He got his fourth tooth (his top middle left) at exactly 13 months old. (June 5th)and the others are not far behind I think!

He started feeding himself more than just puffs too! Abby had given him a Shreddie and I freaked out at first but then took a breath and just watched...he ate the darn thing!!! (I still had a talk with her!!) So I decided to try giving him some bread pieces and banana. He loved it! Now he eats pretty much anything! Ham, strawberries, blueberries, kiwi, pears, cheese...some of the fruits are a bit tough for him to pick up so I have to help him but he loves it!! And it's such a nice break and gives me a minute to prep his cereal or other food or even eat myself!! (or get a few dishes done too!)

What a difference a few weeks can make!!!

I always think of a million things to blog about and then when I finally have a free moment or two, I forget what I wanted to say!! I should write myself notes!!!!

We went swimming last week for the first time in our pool! The heater is broken for some strange reason so it was a wee bit chilly. The first time, Lochlan cried and clung to Rob for dear life. A few days later it was a little warmer (78 I think) and he was happy! It worked out that I took him when Abby was napping, and then when he went for a nap, I took Abby! She LOVES to swim!! So I'm hoping that he will too! I had taken Loch swimming for the very first time on his birthday at one of the local pools and he wasn't a fan at all. Or if he was he didn't indicate it. We have all summer to get him used to it though. Really hoping it's a easy and inexpensive fix for the heater. I know most people don't have heaters and the pools are warm but we don't have much sun in our backyard. So today for instance, it was 72. And I find that chilly!!! I remember as a kid swimming in like 64 degrees but I'm not a kid and need my pool to be mid 80s preferably!!

Lochlan has also been loving getting into everything these days. He has a ball playing in Abby's room. She has a princess tent and he loves to go in and out of it. Today he was playing "peekaboo"...so funny!

And yesterday Abby took her "babe" for a walk in the stroller around the neighbourhood. And tonight she had to give her a bath and put her to bed. So cute! So I'm thinking that might be a good distraction for those nights I'm trying to get Lochlan into bed and she's right there and not helping the situation if you know what I mean!!!

And we went for a walk in the afternoon with Lochlan. This is too cute not to share!!

And he's off!

2011-05-23T14:39:00.014-04:00

Well, my 12 pound, 15 ounce miracle one year old is on the move! He started tummy crawling on May 9th and has been getting better at it every day! He can really travel! When he sees something he wants, he definitely goes and gets it! (or tries to since some things he just can't have!) Sooo time to put up the baby gates! We just haven't had a chance to yet so we have to have the "eagle eye!" He really likes the heat/ac vents. Oh yay!

He also got his first tooth just after his birthday! His bottom middle right one. And just this past week he got his second tooth(May 13th)....and third tooth - (May22) Both of his eye teeth. Poor thing has been teething hard. It's like all of his teeth have decided to come in at the same time. As a result, he had a fever the past few days and also was quite fussy to put to bed over the past week. Poor lil monkey!

His new favourite thing to do now is clapping! He started that on May 9th. And sometimes when I change his diaper in the morning, he will clap after I'm done! It's hilarious!

He's learning to wave and is even starting to try to pull himself up! He can get to his knees and if I support him, he'll stand up! Oh oh!!! Just kidding! It's amazing!

It's really been a busy couple of weeks! One milestone after the other! He can now sit up on his own too! He did that I believe just this past Friday. (May 20th) He'll be on his tummy pull his leg up under him and them scootches himself up! He's quite good at it now! Atta boy!

This past weekend (the long weekend here in Canada) we went camping with my parents. My sister and her husband and my nephews were there too. But we were sooooo far from their campsite! I swear I probably lost about 10 pounds just from walking back and forth to the playground and beach and their campsite! I took the wagon and I think it has to be the loudest wagon in the world! Good thing it was after 10am when we went for our first jaunt! Otherwise I think there would have been a lot of angry campers!!! I also took the Baby Bjorn. Good thing because Lochlan wasn't a fan this time of the wagon. I think he found it too loud this time too and probably a bit too bumpy! But I definitely felt all of his almost 13 pounds!!! I didn't take the stroller and that was a bad move on my part! Next time for sure!

We had a great time. We went up Friday afternoon and came back Sunday. Apart from the difficulty in getting him to sleep at bedtime, he was amazing! Abby had a blast too!! It's not that hard to camp when you're sleeping/eating in a motorhome! The first night, I put Abby down in mom and dad's bed and after I sang a few songs, I ended up falling asleep! Whoops! It was I think 8:30!!! Sorry mom and dad! (I was going to transfer Abby to the pullout couch and share that bed for the night) Mom and Dad were understanding and thoughtful and let us sleep. It actually ended up working out because we slept their on Saturday night too. Lochlan slept in the playpen in between the bathroom area (not the toilet) and the other two rooms. It was perfect because we could shut the doors and it was quiet for them.

Saturday night mom stayed back with the kids and dad and I went over the Chrissy's campsite and had a campfire. I laughed so hard at one point that no sound came out! Their friends Craig and Sheila and Dude (Paul) were camping too and they are hilarious! Good times! Abby ended up with a mysterious fever too Sunday night and now has a cough. Yay. Praying it doesn't get passed on to Lochlan. (or me either!!!) That's the tough part - keeping a sister away from her brother when all she wants to do is love him and play with him.

The weekend couldn't have been better. We can't wait to go camping again with Nana and Poppa! And the weather was gorgeous! It wasn't even that hot but it felt very humid. We were wearing shorts and t-shirts and broke out the sunscreen and hats. It was A-W-E-S-O-M-E!

Abby got her first bike a week ago! From our neighbours actually. So kind, our neighbours! I love our cul-de-sac. Their daughter is turning 6 so they bought her a new bike (without the training wheels) and she wanted to give her old one to Abby! So nice!
Abby is doing soooo well with it! So much better than her little rinky dink tricycle that we had for her. It did well for when she was younger and learning but she's outgrown it and it now sits and waits for Lochlan to get big enough to ride it!

Both kids have been sleeping better these days. Loch manages to have about 2x one hour and a half naps during the day. And last night he went to bed and didn't wake up until 6:30 this morning! He slept all night!!! Woo-hoo! Hoping that is a trend that is going to continue. (he has been getting up at least once in the night) I think a lot of it, especially these past few weeks had to do with his teeth.

Anyway, it had been a while since I blogged so I had a chance and took it!!!
So much good news to share!!!! Oh and one more thing...this afternoon he just started to scoot around on his bum!! ha ha...I guess the hardwood floors aren't feeling so good on his knees! Smart boy!

Until next time,
Jenn

p.s. One more pic. This one makes me laugh!

Happy birthday baby!

2011-05-06T20:44:00.023-04:00

I have a one year old.

A 13 pound one year old. I think he's around 13 pounds anyway. I can't be sure until next week when he goes to get his shots and get weighed and have his general checkup. I definitely feel that he's been having a big growth spurt. He keeps eating and eating. I often have to heat up more food for him after he cleans up one bowl! I will do that as long as he continues to eat!!! He's eating about 8 or 9 tablespoons now. And he's getting too big for some of his jammies and clothes too!!! He just got some 6 months jammies and he fits in them!!! Woo-hoo!!! Finally some new clothes to wear!!!! And today I had him in a 12 month t-shirt!!! Mind it's a small 12 month shirt. In honour of the Thor movie, I put on his custom made Thor t-shirt that our friend, Carol got him for his bday. Rob is a huge fan and went to see the movie tonight. (He said it was awesome!!!)

So let me back up and update on the happenings in the past few weeks.

Lochlan is now sitting up on his own. (not getting to that position himself but he'll sit there if I sit him up) He also can go from sitting to lying down to his tummy. He has had a few spills and bonked his head but they are few and far between. He turns himself around when he's sitting up so it's hard to keep a pillow behind him just in case he does happen to fall.

He had his first wagon ride too! I pulled him very slowly around the first time. But today, Abby, Lochlan and I went for a walk around the neighbourhood with the wagon. It felt soooo good! I had a big grin on my face as I pulled my two awesome kids in that wagon. What a feeling!

Easter weekend was great! We hosted both sides of our family on two separate days. Abby was adorable Easter morning.

What fun! And Lochlan just took it all in. It was so nice to spend time with our families to celebrate the holiday. (although we missed you Nana & Poppa! And can't wait to see you in 2 sleeps!)

It was back to back celebration weekends. We had Lochlan's birthday party this past Sunday. May 3rd.

I had decided to make Lochlan's cake myself. I really wanted him to have a superman cake but I tell ya, decorations are hard to find!!! I finally chose to do the logo and Fiona (Rob's sister) had a star cake pan so I baked the cake in that and then added the logo to that. First time I ever used the tips and I think I had stood in the aisle for like 20 minutes when deciding on the type of icing colouring dye to get. I was very nervous as it was my first big cake and I really wanted to do a "super" job!!!
Once I finally got started after the kidlets were in bed, (with a glass of wine!!) I felt like I was on fire!!! ha ha...I really enjoyed it! I think I used a whole can of icing to get the yellow just right. I kept adding the colouring paste until I realized, I had added too much and had to start again! I got the logo off of the internet and drew it out on bristol board, cut it out and then outlined the shape right on the cake with the icing gel. Then I used the gel to freehand draw the rest of the logo.

I was very happy with my creation. And I think I'll attempt a cake for Abby when her birthday arrives!!!!

So thankful to have great friends and family gathered to cheer for our amazing lil boy! It was a beautiful day weather wise too! I think it rained pretty much every day but Sunday!! And I must admit I got tears in my eyes and a little choked up when we sang "Happy birthday." What a culmination of memories over the past year all wrapped up in one song. So much to rejoice in.

The cake eating or smearing was a little uneventful for Lochlan. He took more interest in the plate it was on than the cake itself! And I'm glad he didn't get too adventuresome and put any in his mouth. I'm sure he would have gagged and perhaps choked. Still not doing so well with textured foods. (I tried a nutri-o yesterday and you should have seen his face. It was like I'd given him brussel sprouts or something!)
He did like smushing the cake though and playing with it.

LOCHLAN'S FIRST BIRTHDAY

Lochlan gave us a birthday gift!! And I so thank him! He slept all night! I had gone out to see our niece, Caelyn's play, The Wizard of Oz that she was in Wednesday night and so Rob put him to bed and gave him a bottle of formula. He didn't drink much. I don't even think a full ounce. But even still, he didn't wake up until 6:40am!!! I wish I'd gone to bed earlier to enjoy it but I still loved him for it!

Crossing my fingers it wasn't a one shot deal! Although he did sleep all night again last night. He didn't get to bed officially until much later as we were at my sisters but he still slept until 6:50! Woo-hoo!

So birthday morning, we hung around home and played and then while Lochlan had his nap, Abby and I made cupcakes to take to the NICU later in the day. After he woke up, we went to Danielle's (my best friend's) for a playdate with her son Michael. Thank you bestie for hanging out with Abby while I took Lochlan swimming for the very first time. I really wanted to do something special for his birthday just him and I. I was a little later leaving Danielle's since I needed to give him his lunch and all that jazz. So we only ended up having about 15 minutes to be in the pool. Well, that was plenty!!! He was petrified!! He was cling master 7!! I couldn't figure out if he was cold or terrified or what. But he wouldn't let go of my neck for too long! I don't even think I got a smile out of him! Hoping he liked it or at least will grow to like it! I'm just very glad we were able to get out together. Love that boy!

Afterwards, we came back home for naptimes. Then headed to the NICU. We brought our cupcakes and Abby was an amazing listener and I had no problems getting to and from the car and the hospital. It was nice to see some of the nurses who had a hand in keeping Lochlan alive. I sort of wish, no not sort of, I do wish we'd been able to see some of our favourites but that just means we'll have to go back for another visit. I'll have to call ahead first I think just to be sure! We didn't say too long just enough to oogle and ogle. Or however you say that. And to give them our cupcakes!!! I think they were very happy and surprised to have a treat!!!

Rob coaches the junior boys soccer team and they had a game so the kids and I headed to my sister, Christina's for a visit and supper. I made a special trip to the Starbucks drive-thru just for me. Okay, and an overpriced apple juice for Abby too! I tried to new Mocha Coconut Frappacino!! YUM-O!!!!

We had a nice visit with my sis and Brad (her hubby) and my nephews, Blake and Owen. And then we came back home for stories and bed which even though I was surprised that the kids didn't fall asleep on the way home, I was glad that they didn't so Daddy could spend some time with them before going to sleep.

It was a great day! So thankful and blessed. I felt a little on edge to be honest though for parts of the day. Obviously it was a day that held some super emotional memories for me. I allowed myself to think back a few times, wallow in it, and then to let it go. So much to celebrate and be thankful for so I wanted to focus on that as much as possible.

Thank you again for all your support this past year. I will continue to keep you posted on Lochlan's progress. One day, he'll be able to look back and see how far he's come. And hopefully know too, how very much he's been loved.

April moments & videos

2011-04-22T14:47:00.010-04:00

A very happy first birthday wish to Timmy! Timmy's birthday was on Thursday. Lochlan and Mister Timmy are 2 weeks apart and share similar, yet different experiences with being born so very premature. God Bless our lil miracles Wendy!

I also want to send a prayer out to Jenn and her family who are missing their sweet angel who was born one year ago. Thinking of you and praying for peace.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Happy Easter everyone!

It has been a pretty busy April. Lochlan has been practicing his skills and is able to travel pretty good by pivoting and rolling. He is also now able to sit up on his own. Well let me rephrase that - he's able to sit if you put him in the seated position without being wobbly and falling over. Sometimes he'll fall, but it's rare these days. But we still put cushions around him just in case. But lately we've have to adjust them as he now likes to turn himself and then he's not protected much anymore. He can also go from a sitting position to on his tummy now. He's figured that out so now we just have to work on getting him to go from laying down to sitting up!
Here he is playing with the fridge magnet toys! The first time I put him down in front of the fridge he had the biggest smile!! Loves it!

He's also been practicing his crawling skills! Getting much closer to one day motoring like crazy! Perhaps he'll reach this milestone before his first birthday! We'll see! Hopefully not too soon as we need to get the baby gates set up! And they will be a bit tricky in our house since there are a few awkward spaces. Rob says he's on it!

Lately our morning routine consists of Abby reading Lochlan a story before his nap and then saying a prayer. So very cute! Here is one of those super sweet moments.

And I managed to capture one of the prayers halfway through. And for whatever reason that day she decided she'd bless Cole, Uncle Shane, and Auntie Noni!

Lochlan has been sleeping so much better these days too! (THANK YOU!!!) He's been averaging at least 8 hours straight...somethings getting up just once in the night. Most of the time it's not until after 4am...the odd time before then. I'm much happier these days. But I still need to get myself to bed earlier to enjoy it!!

He's finally over his colds. Whew! That wasn't much fun. He had back to back colds and it really sucked. I gave him a puff of ventolin before bed while he had it just to be sure and I had to suction his nose out constantly! So I'm happy to report we have moved past that!

It's been a good month overall and I'm looking forward to celebrating his very first birthday in less than 2 weeks. I plan to take him back to the NICU for a visit and am really hoping that our favourite nurses and doctors are there to see how great he is doing. We haven't been there for quite a few months. I think September or October actually. So it will be nice to see everyone.

Lochlan has an eye appointment coming up on May 3rd. Praying they don't have to knock him out to check out his eyes. Other than that there really aren't any appointments coming up in the near future. Well - except for his next checkup with Dr. Moore mid May. He'll be getting his first year shots! Ouch!

Loch still isn't a big fan of textured foods so it's been tough moving forward with the introduction of new foods. But he is eating fruits and veggies and beans and yogurt, and he's tried cottage cheese, and egg yolk but those last two he's just not ready for yet. Too thick! So we'll see. Time is what he needs. And he's pretty picky with the temperature too. Not too hot and not too cold! Even the yogurt needs to be warmed up! My lil diva!

Anyway, I must be off to finish cleaning up and to get ready to go to a family dinner.
Happy Easter everyone!

Jenn

P.S. I'll try to post some latest pics soon too!

Oh and check out the sight that was in our backyard this past week!

One year ago...

2011-04-08T20:07:00.016-04:00

One year ago today, I was lying in a hospital bed, scared like I'd never experienced before. Unfortunately it was a feeling that would stick with me for a very very long time.

I remember waking up that Thursday like any other day. I went with my class of School to Community kids to see "How to Train a Dragon." On the way back around lunch time I wasn't feeling well at all. I felt very sick to my stomach and just off. I ended up leaving work early and headed straight to bed. I wasn't home long before I started throwing up....and throwing up...and throwing up. Morning sickness had nothing on this. I was extremely ill. I could not stop being sick.

I called my midwife to ask about anything I should be aware of with concerns to the baby and she told me I could take Gravol and drink some Gatorade but not to worry.

I called Rob and asked him to bring me home some. So did not help! Rob wasn't home long before he was to leave for a meeting of some sort. I think it was soccer registration or something. And Abby was going to stay at my mom's for the night.

He was just about to leave before I said we needed to go to the hospital. I had started to bleed.

We called Jane (my midwife) back and she was going to meet us at the hospital. I was trying my best not to throw up on the way and trying not to completely freak out.

They give you these handouts about when to page your midwife or to go to the emergency room but you don't ever actually think that will be you!

We arrived and I was whisked to a room and put on a gown and you know, the majority of it is a blur. I know they put the travel ultrasound thing if you will (sorry doctors and nurses for making you cringe for the lingo) and there was still a heartbeat. I remember it being very dark but I didn't know any better.

We waited.

We waited some more. Another doctor came in and took a look again. Then he sat back, looked at us and said that there was no fluid around my baby. My membranes had ruptured and it was what they referred to as pProm. Preterm Premature Rupture of Membranes. I never had the big gush of my water breaking. It had been a slow leak. I was 21 weeks and a few days into my pregnancy. Still half of my pregnancy to go through. This could not be happening! We were told that more than likely I would deliver within a few days, perhaps a week which is when most pProm mom's deliver. If that were the case there was nothing they could do. If we got to 24 weeks, the baby would be considered "viable" and they could intervene if it were to be born. I could also receive steroid shots to help develop the lungs. (Around the 24th week is when babies are developing their lungs and if they are born and the lungs weren't ready yet they could come out, go to take a breath, and then not be able to because they had nothing to breathe with.) So that was the magic week to pray for. To please get to at least the 24th week so I could get the steroid shots.

They started me on antibiotics right away because the risk of infection is very high. If I developed an infection, the baby would have to be delivered.

I remember them giving us all of the statistics: chances of making it to 24 weeks of viability, risks if the baby did survive and the long term complications...cerebral palsy, developmental delays, lung issues, ROP, blindness, deafness...the list goes on and on. Not to mention too that once the baby was born they would take into consideration the quality of life and make medical decisions based on that.

We were told we could terminate the pregnancy and that would be totally understandable and acceptable.

Obviously for us that wasn't an option. The thing that bugged us is that they kept bringing it up. I felt like, okay, we get it...we understand....let's move on. We made our decision, please don't bring it up again.

On a side note, taken from the internet: Preterm PROM before 24 weeks has the worst odds for a good outcome. The odds of survival for the baby are much lower...When doctors can delay the birth until at least 23 or 24 weeks, the baby can survive in some cases but with high odds of long-term developmental problems due to the premature birth.

...Thank you to so many people that prayed for our family and for those of you that don't pray, thank you for your positive thoughts and well wishes. I am so eternally grateful to you. I believe in the power of positive thoughts and prayers so much. We are witnesses to a miracle.

I remember logging on to facebook and asking for prayers and the many people that responded is overwhelming. So amazing! It's a very personal thing to put out there, but I'm glad I did. I needed all the support I could get.

Thank you to Inverary Church for the prayer quilt and to Amy's mom's church too for a prayer quilt. I put them over my belly the entire time I was in the hospital and at night too when I was sent home. Thank you to Auntie Janet (Godmother) for the St. Gerard necklace and the oil. I wore that necklace long after Lochlan was born. And the oil was used twice a day too.

Thank you to my parents and Rob's parents for all their love and support and helping out with Abby.

Thank you sisters (mine and Rob's) and best friend!!! Don't know how I could have managed without you.

I could go through a very very very very long list of thank yous. But I know I would still feel like I didn't thank everyone. But I do need to thank one more person before moving on with this memory.

Thank you to Rob, my incredible husband. You were so strong throughout this process and even though you had so much going on at school and in the community, you managed to keep it altogether. I love you.

Okay...back to it...
I met Dr. Smith the day after this crazy journey began. What a wonderful doctor. He was amazing and so caring ...and I can't say enough good things about the man. I know he was trying to remain positive for me but I think he was surprised by how much I wasn't ready to give up hope.

I know his intern or resident or whatever the doctor was that was working with him perhaps learned something from our case. She was the one that Danielle (my best friend) overheard saying "oh I'm so sorry for her loss" in the hallway. Never say never and never give up hope!

Anyway, this is very long. But it's more for me to relive and remember how far I've come personally and how so very far Lochlan has come. So bear with me.

After I was sent home, I was considered an outpatient. I had to go to the hospital about 3 times a week to get monitored and get blood taken. I wasn't able to go back to work and it was very sad for me. I was really enjoying my job. I was working with the School to Community kids at Bayridge Secondary School. Those kids are amazing. I really really loved my job. I was very disappointed that I couldn't even say goodbye to them.

While at home, I found a group on facebook for pProm mom's and found great support. When you google pProm, you wish you hadn't. It was nice to have a group of ladies that understood. I was very fortunate to strike up a friendship with one mom in particular, Wendy and have been able to follow along on her journey. Our sons were born only a few weeks apart - different gestational weeks but very similar experiences. Amazing woman she is and an amazing lil miracle she has with Timmy. It was then that I decided to start this blog, a way to get out my thoughts and a place friends and family could come to find out how I and the baby were doing.

Dr. Smith told me I didn't have to stay on bed rest. That there was no proof that staying in bed would help or hinder things and to carry on as normally as possible. Well, that's difficult to do when I did feel pretty normal but then I'd just get this gush of fluid and be reminded over and over again on a daily basis that everything wasn't normal. Needless to say, I tried to sit down or lay down as much as possible. Very hard when I was chasing after a not quite 2 year old. I couldn't even pick her up and that was extremely hard both for her and for me.

Okay, well...I will save the rest of the story/memories for when Lochlan's actual birthday comes. At least we all know the outcome is positive!

Thank you if you did read to the end. I know it's pretty long winded. But as I mentioned earlier it's mainly for me and Lochlan.

Lochlan, if you are reading this years down the road, I never gave up hope. I always knew in my heart that everything would be okay. Was I completely and utterly scared? Absolutely! Did I believe? You bet!

Thank you for fighting this fight. You are an inspiration. You are a true warrior.
I love you.
Mom

Hi- Five! 11 months old!

2011-04-02T15:31:00.010-04:00

This video was taken Friday. April 1st! (No fooling!!)

Lochlan had a great week last week other than the fact he's been fighting a cold. Poor monkey. He's been pretty stuffed up. I've had to suction his nose out quite a bit. At first he fights it but after it's been cleared, he's like..."oh okay...that's much better, thanks!" and is all smiles and happy faces.

We saw Dr. Moore on Thursday. Loch decided that he would nurse a few times overnight and and first thing in the morning and then he wasn't interested for 7 hours!!!! So he was weighed on an empty tummy and was 11 pounds, 12 1/2 ounces. At least he gained 2 ounces in a week and didn't lose any!!! He seems to be back to wanting to eat again so that's good. Also means he must be on the mend! Although as I update this blog since I started a few days ago, he decided to have a nursing strike again for a about 5 hours again today. (Monday) Sheesh! Don't stress me out like that kid!!!

Dr. Moore said to increase his lactulose to help him poop. She said if it takes 40mls a day, then it takes 40mls! Right now I'm giving him 10-20mls and it's not really helping all that much. She said that once we stop fortifying everything and feeding him so much cereal that he shouldn't require any lactulose. Here's hoping!

**side note** I'm giving him 10mls in the morning, and 10mls in the evening both times mixed with his cereal and that seems to be doing the trick. I still need to put him on the potty to have a really great one which in itself is rather comical. He's hilarious to see sitting on the potty seat. He looks around and smiles and coos before he gets down to business. Funny seeing an 11 month old on the potty! I wouldn't do it if it was necessary. But hey --- maybe he'll be easier to potty train!! I wouldn't mind not having to go through what we are with Abby. (she pees on the potty but asks for a diaper/pullup to go #2 where she then crosses her legs. So not fun! We've tried many tactics to get her to uncross her legs or to sit on the potty and it's a very rare occasion when she'll actually try) I figure every day is one step closer to it actually happening for her. And I'm trying super hard not to stress about it. I just hate seeing her put herself through that. But she's had constipation issues and figured out it was easier in her mind to withhold. Anyway, enough about poop!!!

Back to Lochlan...

We can start giving him dairy - full fat yogurt (and Dr. Moore even recommended mini-go!!) and cottage cheese.

And I don't have to wait the 3 days to introduce a new food. She said he's pretty adjusted to solids so to "go nuts!"

This morning I gave him blueberries. It was a great success! Almost looks like he's wearing lipstick!

Then he had avocado mixed with sweet potatoes and this was the result! Believe it or not, he actually ate most of it even though it may not seem that way!

Dr. Moore said that he should be able to go for at least 6 hours overnight without nursing so to not feed him if he does wake up -- well try to get him back to sleep without resorting to nursing. Crossing my fingers this works! The past month or so he's been up about 3 times on average overnight to nurse. Yay me! She also said that he needs to not nurse so that he's tummy gets a break from digesting.

Suits me fine! I'm really looking forward to getting a full 6 hours of sleep at one point! Who am I kidding. I'm aiming for 8 hours!! Thursday night, he actually did sleep fully from 12:30-6:30...of course that was the night that Abby was up twice between those hours. Thanks Ab! Thankfully that's not a usual habit.

We can also leave him on his tummy if he happens to flip himself over in the night. She said that could help him sleep longer too! I was worried and would always flip him back over onto his back. Glad I asked.

Since I ran out of breastmilk that was stored up from when he was in the hospital, I had been making his cereal with formula. Dr. Moore actually adjusted the ratio so he's getting more calories. No wonder the kid is having poop issues! She did say (I know I'm back on that topic!) that once we stop having to fortify everything and push extra calories that everything should sort itself out!

Oh, I forgot to mention that when Loch was measured for length I was like, oh he lost 3/4 of an inch!! He was 24.5 inches long. Just goes to show you how inaccurate it really is. It's hard to get their heads to stay against the board and then keep their leg straight...yeah so that's too bad.

He's growing that's the important thing!

We will be heading back to get his final RSV shot this Wednesday. Perhaps he'll hit the 12 pound mark!!! And he will be back next month to get his 1 year shots!!! Whoah! So strange to think that he's going to be a year old in a month.

Anyway, must get to bed. Cheerio,
Jenn

A few pics to enjoy!

He's trying to desperately to crawl! Darn face keeps getting in the way!

Catching up with Lochlan

2011-03-27T10:21:00.005-04:00

Lochlan is almost 12 pounds!! Can you believe it? He's 11 pounds, 10 1/2 ounces. And is 25 1/4 inches long. Grow buddy grow!!! I was so happy to see that number on the scale. I almost did a double take!!! He gained almost a pound in 2 weeks!!! Soooo great for him!
Must be all the overnight feedings! (Trying to be positive in that regard - ha ha!)

His vocabulary is increasing as well. He now does his ba ba ba sounds, and da da da sounds. I've even heard a few ma ma ma sounds! Usually in the dead of night I hear (or at least I think I hear "mommmmmma." Perhaps thinking I hear that makes it easier to get out of bed to feed him! lol

Last week Abby, Lochlan and I went grocery shopping and Abby was doing a line from Baby Einstein to Lochlan and he started joining in. What a hoot! I finally remembered I had my iPod with me and was able to capture a little bit of it. He was playing me a bit but eventually started saying it back! Hilarious! And sorry to the crusty people (if there were any) that may have been annoyed by the loudness of it all. But really, how can you not encourage it?! : )

Lochlan is building up his muscles too. He's able to sit up briefly (like maybe 10 seconds) before falling over to the side. He had an appointment with the special infant clinic this past Wednesday and they were very impressed with him. He can transfer objects back and forth in his hands and bang them together so the main thing we are going to work on is his core muscle strength. And encourage him to sit up on his own.

But man, he is amazing!!! I keep reminiscing as we approach the one year mark since my membranes ruptured and this crazy emotional roller coaster began. But I'd like to save that for another blog closer to the date.

He goes to see Dr. Moore (pedetrician) on Thursday. We'll see if he's gained some more weight and see if there are any other recommendations.

I need to cut this a bit shorter than I'd like since Lochlan is now waking up.
Til next time. (and I'll post some pics too!)
Jenn

10 months old

2011-03-05T14:49:00.007-05:00

I cannot believe that Lochlan is 10 months old today. Wow. It's been a long journey and yet it seems that the time has zoomed by. Crazy to think that in just 2 short months we will be celebrating his first birthday. I think it will be a day full of mixed emotions and memories. Yes, one to celebrate but I don't think I'll be able to not think about how it all unfolded. I choose to focus on the positive and it will be a celebration of how far he has come and how hard he fought to be here with us.

Anyway, I can save all that for his birthday blog!

Lochlan has been fighting a cold this past week. It seemed to be going away and he was on the mend but today it has once again returned. It always makes me a little nervous. Thank Goodness for RSV shots but I still am constantly checking his nose to make sure they aren't flaring out and checking his ribs to see if they are sucking in. But he's handling it like a champ! I did earlier in the week give him a puff or two of ventolin just to be on the safe side during the overnight hours. It couldn't hurt for the extra help I figured!

The cold was mainly in his nose. All congested and I was suctioning it out pretty regularly. It also really affected his daily routine. His sleep patterns were way off as was his eating. He wanted to nurse around the clock it seemed. Part of me was okay with that cause I know he needs the antibodies to help him get better but the other part was not so happy after he was put to bed at 6:30/7 only to wake every hour and a half to two hours overnight. Oh lovely times it was. I felt like we'd just brought him home. Thankfully that has fixed itself but he's still waking up a few times overnight. So looking forward to the day he sleeps through the entire night.

Today, his nose is back to being congested and he has a tiny cough every now and then. Hoping he recovers quickly. While he was sick this past week he also went on a solids strike. It upset him to even be put in the highchair. Or I'd get him in his highchair and would go to put his bib on and he would have nothing of it. Freak out city!

He finally got back around to wanting solids Thursday. But even then I'm only feeding him his cereal once a day. (he was getting it for breakfast and supper) Hoping to increase that very soon and perhaps that will help him sleep a little longer at night.

Another issue I had was that even though he was pretty happy playing, his wake time was short lived before he wanted to go back to sleep and even then I had to rock him. Typically, I can just put him down and he'll drift off to sleep himself unless he is way overtired. Which we try to avoid at all costs but it has happened. But this week, I'd have to rock him, then most times as soon as I put him down, he'd wail and carry on and I'd end up scooping him up again! I was worried I was spoiling him and getting him into a bad habit but it seems it was just temporary. Whew!

Before he was sick, I weaned him off his Flovent to 1 puff/twice a day as per Dr. Flavin. Still amazing that he's gone from 21 puffs a day (out of the 3 puffers) to just 2. Incredible boy!

Lochlan still continues to battle his constipation. So disheartening. I hate having to see him in pain trying to go 4-5 times a day and only pushing out a tiny bit. It just doesn't make any sense to me. Why both my kids have had poop problems. Abby still to this day, crosses her legs when she poops (still asks for a pullup) because she thinks it will hurt if she doesn't or tries to go on the potty. Any tips there and I'd be open to them. We ended up giving Lochlan a suppository a few days ago (Thanks Auntie Noni) and quite a bit came out. I sure would like to know what it is I'm doing or not doing that is backing him up. It really stresses me out. He's on Lactulose, and eating prunes every day and that still is not helping move things along.

I did give him a tiny bit of water yesterday and today. Even though that wasn't the suggestion of his doctor, I am trusting mothers instinct and doing what I feel is best. It's not like he's drinking a glass of water. It's tiny sips and hopefully that will help. Praying it does.

On to more exciting news! Lochlan has begun to scoot around in a 360!!! He just started this a few days ago. Check out this video I took yesterday - he's mainly interested in the fish for the first minute but towards the end you can really seem him turning himself around: (Thanks to Wendy for letting me know how easy it is to do!)

He also continues to chat a little more. New sounds seem to be emerging. He gets quite irritated when I put him in his bouncy chair or even his upright chair. I guess it just doesn't sit up far enough for him. He wants to sit up completely on his own. Looking forward to when he can all by himself. I think it will make him a very happy camper! He's getting there though. He's able to balance himself for the most part on his hands leaning forward. It's just a matter of time.

Just prior to one of his naps today he was on his tummy and putting his bum in the air and his face down shoved into his crib mattress and he propelled himself forward a few times. I told him that might not be such a great idea to do it that way as face planting into the floor doesn't seem so great nor does floor burn! But he's learning and it's neat to see him beginning to get the real urge to learn this crawling business.

Last weekend I pulled out the next size of clothes. No longer does he wear the newborn clothes - they are put away. Although there are a few pants that I kept out since he has no bum and not a very big waist either. But for the most part he's been wearing the 3-6 months clothes. So nice to see a new wardrobe after all these months!!! Thanks best friend!! Mucho gracias!

I think that's it for now. As always, thank you for your prayers past and present. Have a wonderful weekend. And cheers to spring being not so far away!

Jenn

Long overdue pics and an update!

2011-02-25T21:18:00.018-05:00

The issue I have with blogger is that you have to import all your pics from the last to the first so these pics are all out of order. Most people it wouldn't bug, but for me, it drives me a bit crazy to think that they aren't in order of when they were taken. Call me silly, but it still gets to me a bit!

So I took the time to upload all the pics and I will just blog in between. The other "issue" is that you can't tell which pic is what when you are typing so you have to go back and forth to try to match up comments with pics.

Anyway...it really doesn't matter.

Lochlan saw Dr. Arthur this past Tuesday. He was impressed with our guy. He said his eyes were hugely improved!!! woo-hoo!!! So happy. He didn't really say how good they are but improved is good enough for me. I was trying to sneak a peek at his notes but I couldn't really understand "doctor scribble." I'm pretty sure that if there was any issues to be immediately concerned about that he would have said. Loch will go back two days before his birthday to get a closer look at his eyes. He won't need to have the clamp put over his eye but if he doesn't get a good look, than Lochlan will have to go under. Praying that isn't necessary.

Julie, from the infant development clinic came on Thursday. She thinks Lochlan is doing fabulous. (I agree) She will be following up once every few months to make sure things are on target. But she was impressed with our lil miracle.

New sounds have begun to emerge. It's so neat to hear all the little noises he makes. Although I do feel that he is behind in that regard. I know he'll get there but it is definitely one thing we are monitoring. He doesn't babble nearly as much as Abby did at his corrected age. But Abby has always been way ahead of the curve.

He has also been getting stronger physically. Able to lean forward and balance a bit on his hands while sitting up. (with mommy's support of course) It's just a matter of a few weeks I think before he's able to sit up on his own.

On Family Day (Feb 21st) we took Abby skating for the first time. What a hoot! So cute! I wish I could figure out how to post video because it's really something special to see.

And last but not least I must leave you with another Abbyism. Although it came from mommy first! Sometimes when I feel slightly overwhelmed with everyone needing me at once, I'll say, "Just hold the phone!" I don't know why, I just do. I'm sure I heard it somewhere before. But anyway, the cutest moment came the other day when Abby, Lochlan, and I were at my best friends and Lochlan and I left to go to the store to pick up a prescription and Abby stayed behind to play. Well when I got back, she raced down the stairs and said, "Mommy, JUST HOLD THE PHONE! Give me two more minutes. I'm just watching a show!" Or something like that. So funny and totally random.

Love that girl!

6 months home (and adjusted age)

2011-02-17T13:49:00.008-05:00

Thursday February 17th

Wow. Six months have gone by since Lochlan came home. (Aug 16th) Today also marks the day, six months later that Lochlan should have been due. (August 17th)

He is really doing incredibe. He's smiling and laughing and just wants to go go go! If he could could could!

Abby is a darling with him these days, calling him sweetheart and her baby! So adorable. She still occasionally gets too close to him or pinches his cheeks or whatever, but it's now just typical sibling stuff. I think sometimes too she just loves him so much that she doesn't realize that it's causing him some distress.

Yesterday Lochlan had another dose of the RSV shot. More protection. Dr. Onyette told me that he will definitely be getting one more shot next month and then they are waiting on the government to hear about a dose for April.

He now weights 10lbs, 5 3/4 ounces and is 24 inches long. Getting there little by little. He gained 6 ounces in 2 1/2 weeks which for him is amazing!

Sad to say that I have officially ran out of pumped breastmilk. D'oh! I'm happy that it lasted this long but not impressed I have to try to fit in some pumping sessions. I already feel like there's no time! But I have to get in the right frame of mind and keep reminding myself it's best for Lochlan. I am able to use Formula if I am unable to pump for his cereal. So that's a relief and takes some pressure off. It's very difficult to fit in a pumping session in between feedings without it affecting his normal feedings or even after he's gone to bed...I'm like okay if I pump now, is he going to wake up and then I won't have any? Or even if I do pump I don't get all that much. Frustrating but a little is better than nothing at all!

Yesterday (Wednesday) also marked an important milestone for Lochlan: he stopped his morning Ventolin! So he's now down to Flovent 2 puffs, twice a day and Ventolin, 2 puffs in the evening.

((continued 3 days later - Sunday Feb 20th))

I'm trying to remember where I was going with my train of thought since it's now been 3 days since I began this post. Oh well.

Lochlan has been enjoying his solids much more these days. Wasn't a fan of bananas but I'm thinking that's due to texture. But he's decided he likes sweet potatoes again. Good thing because I was running out of options of what to give him on a consistent basis since I need to wait a few days before introducing something else. And he will now eat Avocado too. I actually mixed it with pear yesterday which was a big hit!

A week and a half ago, Julie, from the infant development program came for a home visit to see if she could help Lochlan with anything. Since it was just the initial visit, we just chatted and I filled out some paperwork. She's coming on Thursday to really observe him. But from what she could tell, she said he was doing really really well. She seemed pretty impressed with him and what he's able to do. It's hard sometimes because I think he's doing amazing but then I'll sort of forget what where he should be at developmentally with his adjusted age. So sometimes I question if he should be doing more. I don't know. I just go with the flow. He's starting to sit up a little bit...well not entirely but it's a start. He's bent right over almost in a stretch type yoga pose with the support of me holding him up. So I think that's what he's working on now.

He's also putting a lot more things to his mouth these days. And I think he's teething pretty hard as well. Poor boy. Just pop out teeth already!!!

And he's started some new sounds lately too. Which is so great to hear. I swear sometimes it sounds like momma! I know, I know...stretching it a little but a girl can hope!! Either way, it's so cute! And he's smiling and smiling and smiling!

And a few Abby tidbits:

The other day we went through Tim Horton's drivethru on our way to my mom and dad's and I got her a bagel and she said "Can I have my bagel mommy?" Then she started singing to the tune of "Baby" by Justin Beiber: "Bagel bagel bagel, ohh" So funny! I told her you can definitely tell she's mommy and daddy's daughter!! Especially Rob because he's always changing the lyrics to something crazy.

And yesterday when we went to watch Rob play soccer, she met a little girl named Madison and she said, "Madison do see my daddy? He's doing better than good! Say, go daddy, go daddy! Go daddy go, go daddy go!"
: )

Wean baby wean!

2011-02-08T14:41:00.003-05:00

Lochlan had his appointment with Dr. Flavin one week ago. He is the respiratory doctor. He decided to start weaning Loch a little more from his puffers. He now has a set schedule. He now gets 2 puffs of Ventolin in the morning and at night and 2 puffs of Flovent in the morning and at night. So different from where we started. When he first came home he was getting 21 puffs combined of 3 different puffers a day. Now it's 8 puffs a day!
Beginning next week he will lose the morning Ventolin and just get it in the evenings along with the Flovent twice a day.

If that fairs well, we will cut back on the Ventolin altogether and he'll just get the Flovent 2 puffs twice a day.

If everything still is going well, Lochlan will be down to one puff of Flovent twice a day. (2 puffs for the entire day!!!!!! woooo-hooooo!)

So exciting! I'll have to get a picture of Lochlan when he is getting his puffers done. It's a sight to see. The aerochamber fits right over this nose and mouth. He is pretty good at taking it now except for when he is tired. Can't say I blame him.

I also found out at the appointment with Dr. Flavin that Lochlan will see him every four months until one year old....so one more appointment til that milestone. And then every six months until he's four years old, then once a year until he's around seven. At that point, they'll run some tests on his lungs. But he did say because he is doing so well, that he doesn't expect there to be any major surprises.

We had to stick around after the appointment to get Lochlan's blood drawn to test his iron levels. Which was a treat in itself. He ended up with a huge bruise. Poor lil thing. I always have to remind myself that he's been through worse. Hopefully he won't have to be on his supplement for much longer. I think he's getting enough with all the cereal with extra iron in it that he's eating and the fortified breastmilk too.

Before leaving us though, Dr. Flavin said, "Bye Lochlan, you're a great boy!"
Warmed my heart.

The biggest struggle I'm having these days is Lochlan's nap times. You could almost say - what nap times? He really only naps about 20-30 mins each time. And he's ready for his naps too. It's not that I'm putting him down when he's not tired. He needs them. So he has about 4 short naps a day. Blah! Soooo ready for them to extend! Usually when it comes time for Abby's nap, he'll be sleeping, I'll get her down and then he'll wake up. Then we'll play and be ready for his next nap, and then Abby will wake up. Good times really. I've put in my request to have him sleep longer but we'll see if he listens to mommy!!! ; )

He's also back to having some issues pooping. Funny thing is that I've actually put him on the potty 3 times now and he's gone immediately. Some very long poops. Amazing really. Rob took a picture the first time because it was just one long string of #2. He said he was going to use it as his profile pic on facebook. Please no! Anyway, it's the only way he can get it all out because it's formed and the diaper restricts it from all coming out. Sorry to talk about his bowel movements but it is something that is forefront in my mind these days.

He stopped liking prunes after about the first or second time I gave it to him so now I have to mix it with his cereal to get him to eat it. So far so good. I've run out of the Lactulose the doctor said to give to him so looks like I'll be getting more of that to have on hand. I'm hoping though that because he's eating more prunes that his system will reboot and I can avoid having to give him any "medicine" to help smooth things along.

In the past few weeks, he's tried Avocado which he was ho hum about and peas. Peas were a bit too textured for him. The blender just doesn't get all the bits pureed.
It's amazing how two kids can be so different already. Abby LOVED her dried fruit puree (that's the prunes and apricots and apple mix) and loved sweet potatoes and butternut squash but Lochlan not so much. Still have to post that video of him eating the prunes. So funny. Rob has it so I'll have to get a copy from his iPhone.

I'm going to go through the Baby's Table book to start making some super yummy sounding recipes and maybe he'll eat a little more. Cause the other stuff just ain't cutting it. Fingers crossed he just wants more taste to his food because he loves his mixed cereal with fruit.

Anyway, Abby is now awake (got up about 10 mins ago) and Lochlan just got up too. This time a 35 min nap! Woo, how exciting! ha ha And...there was a bit of an overlap. Lucky me!

We're at my moms so I'm able to blog without looking around my house thinking I should be cleaning or whatever.

Okay, I'll try to post more pics when I get home. And maybe some video. Lochlan's been loving his jolly jumper lately. So cute. And I got a super cute video of Abby last night saying "Dort-tee (Dorthy) this is how you jump!" (or spin, or whatever) Ten points if you can tell me where that's from!

"Celebrate good times...come on!"

2011-01-30T08:58:00.013-05:00

This weekend we are celebrating a 10 pounder!!!!!!!!
Hooray! "We did it, we did it, we did it did it did it!" (Couldn't resist a Dora reference for Lil Miss. Bigail)

I couldn't be more thrilled. Even his pediatrician was impressed. She walked in our room at the doctor's and was like, "Whoah! What have you been doing? Keep it up!" Even his length has grown. He now weighs 10lbs, .5oz and is 23 3/4 inches long. And I think his head circumference is 41.5cm.

Yay Loch!! Grow baby grow! It's been a long process and it's amazing to think he's almost 10x his birth weight!! Really puts it into perspective when most babies they say triple their birth weight by one year. I'm hoping he'll be triple his coming home weight around his bday. (May 5th)Which would be about 15lbs. (He was 5lbs, 1.5 ounces when he came home August 16th which was the day before his due date!)

Dr. Moore is getting us to check his iron level so that we may be able to stop supplementing him. Woo-hoo! He really hates the taste of it. And the less things I have to give him the better. It's so nice now when we go for his checkup and the nurse asks the routine questions about what medications he's taking to be able to say only a couple of meds he's on rather than the big list he used to be!

This past week Lochlan tried mixed cereal and he really liked it. One minor issue I'm been having is knowing when to try to fit in the veggies or fruits. He needs to have cereal twice a day to grow. I've been trying to give him cereal for "breakfast" and "dinner" and his other foods at "lunch." Dr. Moore said he can have his 4 tbsp of cereal twice a day (no more) and if he wants more food at those times, he can have up to 4 more tablespoons of fruits and veggies. Or was it 5? Oh well that's a long way off anyway! But that I can give it to him like I'm doing. But it's still so strange to me. I wish we could just give him the cereal once a day and that I didn't have to use fortified breastmilk. I'm on my last bag of my milk supply. That really sucks! I'm going to have to start pumping. Blah. I was really lucky to have built up the supply that I did and it lasted this long but I haven't pumped gosh, in a really long time now. Well, I would think since he came home. Hopefully I can fill up those suckers in no time!!

Loch's enjoyed a few time in the exersaucer believe it or not. He's starting to really like it. And he's occasionally been in the jolly jumper although he's not really jumping - more like "hanging" out!

Thursday Lochlan waved for the very first time to my Dad and Mom. It was the coolest thing ever! He pretty much just opened and closed his fingers a few times but he did a few times so we knew it wasn't just a fluke. Soooo neat.

At the beginning of this past week, he had a mysterious sickness. He developed a fever of almost 102f. He was pretty lethargic and wanted to snuggle. He was up every 2-3 hours as a result overnight. Thankfully, it only lasted about 24-36 hours before he was back to normal. Unfortunately, his schedule it still a bit off. He's been waking up a lot of overnight. Yay for me! Praying that sorts itself out real soon and we can all get some more sleep.

To celebrate Lochlan's 10 pound weight we went tobogganing as a family (well Loch was in his sled but certainly wasn't going down any hill!) and then out for supper. It was so much fun and I can't wait to do it again. Really I think we would have been doing it anyway but I'm calling it our celebration cause I said we'd throw a big party when he hit 10 pounds! A party in my head maybe!!!

Anyway, I think that's about all the things that happened this week in terms of milestones and doctor's visits. Miss Abby has a cold so she had to miss her gymnastics class this week. Hoping she's on the mend.

This coming week we meet with Dr. Flavin and fingers crossed we have a plan to wean Lochlan off some more of his puffers.

I will leave you with this thought. I was out with my best friend Friday night and she mentioned that when I was in the hospital when my water was discovered broke (at 21 weeks a 3 days approx) that she overheard the one doctor who was a young woman say to her colleague "I'm so sad for her loss." And that they were saying that only 1 in however many thousands ever make it.

Wow.

Supermodel

2011-01-22T14:08:00.007-05:00

Finally! I am getting around to blogging! Just like a friend of mine, I blog in my head on a regular basis. (Right, Wendy?) Too bad you can't actually read my thoughts - although it didn't work out too well for Mel Gibson's character in "What Women Want!"

Lochlan has been doing - and I'll use the word I use a lot with him - amazing. This lil guy never ceases to amaze me. Ha ha there I said it again!!!

Oh dear I just checked to see where I had left off with details and whoa nelly, it's been almost a full month! I'll give you the Reader's Digest version!

Our miracle baby now weighs almost 10 pounds!!!! Can you believe it? It's almost time to break out the party hats and streamers and bells and whistles. I did say I'd be throwing a celebration when he hits that milestone. And it's just around the corner!

Lochlan weighed 9 pounds and 12 3/4 ounces this past Wednesday. (Jan 19th) Although he did have an enormous....and I'm talkin HUGE #2 a little while later so chances are, he's a little less than that! But we will take it!!!

I'm not sure how long/tall he is just yet. I'll find out on Friday. And hopefully by then he will be over that 10 pound mark! Look out next Saturday night. Party at the McDonald's!!! But don't be disappointed if I go to bed before 9pm! That's about all I can make it too these days. Except on Mondays nights when I'm watching Brad, the Bachelor! I can definitely stay awake on those nights! ha ha

Loch's been having some constipation issues for the past few weeks but I'm crossing my fingers it's sorted itself out now. But there really wasn't anything different happening in his diet. He'd been already on the cereal for over a month with no issues and he really wasn't getting all that much more. Poor lil guy. He's such a calm baby that you rarely know when something is bothering him.

Speaking of food - sort of, his first solids after the cereal was prunes! (to help move things along the doc said it could be an intro food) He liked it at first but now that he's tried Butternut Squash and Sweet Potatoes...look out!! Abby loved the Dried Fruit Puree (prunes, apricots, and apples) Loch, not so much. He does this thing where he purses his lips and blows. So cute. But unfortunate. I really need him to eat it!

The prunes weren't doing much to help, so his pediatrician put him on Lactulose. It still wasn't doing anything so she doubled the dose. Well, 10 ml is a lot of a lil guy. I ended up mixing it with his sweet potatoes and he gobbled it right up! Thank Goodness! Anyway I won't spend too much time on the poop subject but just know I think he's on the right track now.

A few weeks before Christmas my camera decided to break. Okay, perhaps it didn't decide exactly, I dropped it at the Sydenham Santa Claus parade. On the pavement. Whoops! Still hoping to get it fixed. I got an iPod for Christmas and it's with me everywhere pretty much so I tend to take pics on it now. Only problem is I can only email the pics to myself....wait that's not true, I suppose I could plug it in and download them to my computer. I'll do that so I can post some pics from this last month. And some video.

Lochlan's been starting to laugh more at me...with me...no probably at me. So cute to hear his giggle. I'll have to record it and share it's so darn cute. I don't know exactly the first time he laughed because I didn't clue in that it was his laugh! I just knew it was a super cute sound. But he does it more on a regular basis. Love that he does.

Oooh some exciting news: he's being weaned from his puffers!!! He is now only on 2 puffers twice a day. With 2 puffs and 3 puffs for them. So just the Ventilin which opens up his lungs and Flovent which is the steroid. So nice to not have to worry about when he will wake up in the night to give him his puffers or whether to go in and do them anyway and risk him waking up. Now he gets them before he goes to bed and when he wakes up in the morning! I sleep better I find too because like I said I'm not waking up thinking about his puffers. Sleep. Yes....some nights are great, others a bit tougher. He was waking up around 4 or 5 in the morning and then going back to sleep but the last few days he's been up around 1:30, and then 4:30, then his usual 6:30 or 7:30. Hopefully that won't last too much longer. I think I've put in enough dues that I can have a full nights sleep please!! Thank Goodness Abby no longer wakes up in the night and come stomping into our room for milk or whatever because she heard Lochlan stirring. And she's starting to sleep in a little bit later these days. Rather than the 5:15am wake up call we were getting for a good month or two, she's now between 6:15-6:45. Not horrible when you compare it to the 5am hour which....God Bless you who can do it, I find it extremely challenging. Yay for Dora and Diego!!!

Lochlan's off of his lasix too. Just this past week and he seems to be doing great. The lasix was used to help clear the extra fluid from his lungs. So big changes in the last few weeks.

He has another RSV shot this past week and we went to get his hearing checked again on Thursday. What a fun time! Not so much really. When you are expected to get your child to sleep, it doesn't happen! Finally after a few hours and only about 15 minutes to go before the lady had to catch her bus, he fell asleep. He should have been tired too! Guess it must have been the 3 hour nap he took that morning! But I refuse to wake up a sleeping baby. That's when they are most developing. So the results were that he has no permanent hearing loss!!!!!! He is still however, congested in his right ear which is only temporary. Yay!

His next eye appointment will be in the next month or so. (can't recall) And he goes to the special infant clinic in March.

That's about all the big news I think. I will try my hardest to blog more. It's tough when you get the kids to bed and then have about an hour or so to yourself before heading to bed! But I want to remember everything and I'm sure Lochlan (or his wife and kids) will want to know details one day.

Here are some pics from his very first official photo shoot we had yesterday at Serendipity Studios in Napanee. So so good...I chose a few to post as most are very similar. Can't wait to enlarge them and frame them and put them up on our wall!!
And I can't wait to go back to have family portraits done.

It's about time!

Cheers!

Jenn

Our little supermodel:

Promise

2011-01-07T20:51:00.002-05:00

I promise to blog sometime over the weekend.

Thanks for sticking with us.
Jenn

Gearing up for Christmas

2010-12-22T19:52:00.021-05:00

Hello.

Lochlan's been making some great progress lately. He's been liking his cereal. We are now up to about 2tbsp. He's tried rice cereal and oatmeal. Seems to like oatmeal a lot better. Can't say I blame him! I'm aiming to try barley over the next few days. Mmmm...sounds yummy doesn't it?!

He's like, "give me my cereal, and nobody gets hurt!" So funny.

His pediatrician Dr. Moore said that we can start him on purees anytime. However, she said that it won't have as many calories as the cereal. It would be just to introduce him to food and textures. I think I'm going to hold off just yet on introducing veggies. I'm going to aim for 4tbsp of cereal a day at least before trying out sweet potatoes which is probably what I'll start with. (Abby started with the same)

On Monday Dec 20th, he weighed 8lbs, 12 3/4 ounces. I was excited to see that he'd gained 5 oz since his last appointment. Actually in 12 days. The previous weight (8lbs, 7 3/4 oz) he was the same one week apart. Which was very frustrating. But I altered a few things that I was doing and it seems to be working. In fact, he gained 1 1/2 ounces in two days. (since Monday as he had an appointment today) He now weighs 8 pounds, 14 1/4 ounces. Hooray!! So proud of my little man. Have I mentioned that I think he is amazing? He's just shy of being 9 lbs!!!! I think I'll celebrate big time when he gets over the 10 lb mark. Dr. Moore said Loch's going at his own pace in the weight gain department and that we'll concentrate on getting it up in the New Year. But I'm so happy he gained what he did in two days. So awesome. Keep it up!

He had his second dose of the flu shot on Monday and his third RSV shot today. (Wed) So thankful for those shots. They are definitely keeping him healthy. Must give a "shout out" to Dr. Onyette. She is amazing. She is so good at what she does and is so kind and caring. She even makes her own appointment reminder calls. What an incredible lady. (and doctor of course!)

Lochlan has also been developing fabulously these days. He had his special infant clinic two weeks ago and they are very happy with where he's at. We are continuing to work on getting his tummy time in so that his head and neck control get even stronger. His head is still so big in comparison to the rest of his body and so it's pretty heavy to lift up when he's on his tummy. They said that his chest area because of this needs a little more support as is the usual for preemies.

These pics were actually taken a few weeks ago.

Lo and behold, our little miracle baby is rolling over from his back to his tummy. He did this a few times a couple of weeks ago but tonight, it was constant. He has a harder time rolling from his tummy to his back once he's there though so you really need to watch him and help him out. Which is strange because he can roll back to his back when I put him on his tummy for tummy-time. So go figure. I guess it's just where his hands end up and whatnot. He'll get it. But every time I turned him back over tonight, he'd heave-ho and put himself back on his tummy. Funny boy. You could really see the concentration and determination. LOVE him.

And he continues to smile these big smiles. He's got quite the little personality already. Already so social. He's been chatting a bit more the past few days as well. Not cooing nearing as much as Abby when she was his corrected age but I shall not compare. I'm soooo very proud of him.

He had his eye test last week with Dr. Arthur to test his vision. (rather than to check for activity with the blood vessels) He did very well. It's tough to really know since he's still so young. Dr. Arthur and his colleague seem to think that his left eye is a bit slower than his right. No real big surprise there as that's been the one with the most difficulty. So time will tell. We're sure he'll need glasses at some point but who knows if he'll have baby or kid glasses, or just need them as an adult. He goes back in March to test again.

As we near Christmas, I want to wish everyone a VERY merry Christmas and a joyful and blessed New Year. Thank you over and over and over again for your continued prayers and support. We feel very loved and fortunate to have so many friends, family, and strangers cheering Lochlan and the rest of our family on.

This Christmas will be extra special and we can't wait to wake up on Christmas morning with stars in our eyes and love in our hearts with our amazing family of four.

Miracles exist.

God Bless.
Jenn, Rob, Abby and Lochlan
xoxo

7 months old!

2010-12-06T21:31:00.004-05:00

Yesterday, Lochlan turned 7 months old. 7 months. What?

Yes, 7 months old. And doing so great. He had his appointment with Dr. Moore (his pediatrician) last Monday. He weighed 8 pounds and 7 1/2 ounces, was still just shy of 22 inches (55cm), and his head grew an inch and is now 40cm around.

The only thing we are concentrating on is getting his weight up. Because he is not taking a bottle anymore (he's rejecting it) she said we could try him on solids. Yes, that's right - it's cereal time! CRAZY! It seems so strange to give him cereal when he is so small. I asked about his digestive tract and she said that he should be fine. He has been eating and digesting for 7 months now.

So that night I went to Wally World and they were having a sale on cereal so I stocked up! Rice cereal, Oatmeal, Barley, and one mixed cereal for later. I felt very very odd. I had Lochlan with me and I sort of felt like people were looking at me like, isn't he a little young for that? Meanwhile, I'm sure no one even thought of it. It was all in my head. But I still felt funny.

So Tuesday morning I decided, well why the heck not? Lochlan really liked it. It was more fortified bmilk than cereal, but it was a start and he was taking it in. And giving a smile in between "bites."

He's now worked his way to 2 tablespoons and I even introduced oatmeal cereal today which he really enjoyed. He was almost yelling at me to give him more. So funny. He was doing this little scream and looking at me like, um...mom, I want more. So I had to heat up another tablespoon. So no worries about him handling solids.

Wednesday he received his 2nd RSV shot. Took it like a champ again. And he had gained a 1/4 of a ounce in 2 days. So he's up to 8 pounds, 7 3/4 ounces. (keep in mind he'd only had cereal twice which was like 1-2 teaspoons)

Thursday he had his hearing test. I laughed and said, "okay we'll try" after the phone call to remind me of the appointment that said to come with a sleepy baby. ....right! Cause that's easy to plan.

Anyway, he did so awesome. I was so proud of him! He slept for about 45 mins after being awake when we first got there and I was able to get him to sleep. He slept long enough to have his left ear tested. He still has congestion in his ear drums/sinuses. This is due to his prematurity. The tubes are flat whereas as you get older, the tubes are more like a V but not quite that high! (the tubes leading from your nose to your ears) So they put a test monitor that vibrated behind his ear to check for hearing. I can't remember exactly the terms but either way, he passed. And he has normal hearing in his left ear. His right ear, well, he didn't sleep long enough to get tested. I ended up nursing him when he woke up and the audiologist asked if I thought he's settle again. And I said, settle as in go back to sleep? And she said yes. I was like, um no. After his nap, he's usually up for about an hour and a half to two hours. She said, "oh that was a nap?" Well what was she expecting - a two hour nap? Ain't gonna happen honey! I wish! So we have to go back another day. Which reminds me I have to call the back to set up the appointment. Whoops!

Friday, Medigas came for their final visit! Woo-hoo!!!! So exciting! He was sat'ing 97-98% even getting to 99% at one point. He's amazing! We bid farewell to Melissa and she said, "oh I'll miss you Lochlan." And I replied: "Well not offense, but we won't miss you!" Hope that didn't sound too rude! So now we are just waiting for them to pick up the equipment. Lochlan sees Dr. Flavin (the breathing doctor) and hopefully he'll be starting to wean him from his puffers. I've had to move the times we give him his puffers to try to coincide with his sleep patterns overnight. He's been sleeping longer and I would hate to have to wake him to give him his meds. I've been really fortunate that he usually goes down around 7 and will wake up once overnight and then be up again around 7am. Some nights are different but overall that has been his pattern. As much as I'd love for him to sleep through more for of the night, he's doing awesome considering he's still so tiny. And because he needs his puffers, I'm okay with him waking up to feed otherwise I'd have to wake up to do it anyway. Plus, he needs all the calories he can get. I know that Dr. Moore said to not wake him in the night to eat because he needs to sleep to grow and develop.

We go from 4 appointment last week to 1 this week. Wednesday is his special infant clinic. We'll see how he's doing developmentally. I feel like he's doing fantastic. Such a miracle.

Oh wow. Time has flown by. It's almost 11pm and I should be in bed. Abby has been waking up super early these days. Anytime after 5am in free reign for her. Good times. And their nap times haven't been coinciding either. Today Lochlan was sleeping when Abby went for her nap. Within 10mins he was up. Then when he finally went back to sleep, I went to get my own nap in and I had my eyes closed for 2mins when Abby woke up! D'oh! Oh well. One day it will happen.

Thank you for continuing to follow along on our journey.

So on that note....good night!

Hospital: 3 months, 11 days...Home: 3 months, 12 days

2010-11-28T20:02:00.025-05:00

Today is the first day Lochlan has been home longer than his stay in the hospital after he was born. He's been home now 3 months and 12 days! Thank God for that! (And so many of you who prayed for his well being.)

Last night just prior to putting him down in his crib to sleep, I realized that it was exactly the same amount of time that he spent in the hospital since he's been home. Crazy.

You know what else is crazy is that Lochlan decided yesterday was going to be the day that he rolled over!! Yes --- ROLLED OVER! For the past week (since Saturday Nov 21st) he has been rolling over to his right side. Well yesterday at Nana & Poppa's, he rolled to his side like he has been doing and then all of a sudden Mom goes, he's on his belly!! I was like - WHAT??? Totally wasn't expecting that. He gets some tummy time during the day but nothing where he's comfortable being on his tummy for long periods of time. My lil monkey! And it wasn't that much of a fluke, he did it again not too long after. Amazing boy we have.
Medigas came on Friday and Lochlan was stellar once again. This time he was sat'ing in the mid to high 90s. At first he was only about 91/92 but then we put his sock on his foot and he immediately jumped to 95%! One more visit!

I forgot to mention in my last post that Lochlan's has been teething. You can really see some of his teeth trying to come through. He's got the white outline around his gums. The one tooth on his lower right side (next to where the bottom tooth will be) poked out and then disappeared again. I thought for sure he had his first official tooth! Not quite yet. Abby had her first two teeth just prior to turning 4 months old. And that's how old Lochlan is now corrected to his due date. It's hard to imagine him this small with teeth! I mean he's almost 7 months old and still looks like the size of a newborn. A friend of mine just had a baby and I think Lochlan is still smaller! It's hard to wrap your head around that one sometimes. Or to hear about 6 months or so babies being 18 pounds or more. I'm not sure how much he weighs just yet as it's been about a month since he was weighed (he was 8 pounds, 1 ounce) but we will find out tomorrow. He has his pediatrician appointment. He will also be getting his 6 month shots. We're a little late but due to his RSV shot and his flu shot, we wanted to space them out in case of a reaction. As it is, he's getting his next RSV shot this coming Wednesday. He also will get his hearing tested on Thursday and Medigas will visit on Friday for the last time. (fingers crossed) Four appointments this week! Wowzers!

And next week he goes for his special infant development clinic and the following week has his appointment with Dr. Arthur to test his vision. I'm pretty sure he is hearing and seeing things quite well.

He's cooing a lot more these days too. So cute. I tried to take some video but of course when it's happening, I stand their in awe of him and chit chat back and then remember to grab the camera and then I don't get the chance to turn on the proper lights, and so the video ends up dark and grainy! (don't tell anyone I'm a comm. tech teacher!!) Oh well. One of these days it will be non stop and I'll have lots of video I can take and share with you.

Which brings me to the fact that I won't be able to take any pics for a while. I dropped my camera at the Santa parade yesterday and it finally said, "enough!" I've dropped it a few times prior and apparently that was the last straw. It doesn't want to work for me which totally sucks. Doesn't it know it's freakin' Christmas time!!! Maybe Santa will bring me a nice new camera for Christmas! *hint hint*

Today we put up our Christmas tree. Too bad I didn't get a picture of Abby decorating it for the first time. So cute! I gotta say, the bottom of our Christmas tree has never looked so good! : )

I'm really looking forward to Christmas this year. So much to be thankful for and to celebrate.
First time grabbing and holding on and playing with the links.
Nice tongue! ha ha
This is actually one of Lochlan's Christmas presents. I just couldn't wait to let him play with it.
...and one and two and three and four...

Abby's nice rosy cheeks after playing outside.

Sick mommy

2010-11-23T19:20:00.006-05:00

I'm finally getting around to writing a new blog and I'm actually in bed with the laptop! I've been sick since Saturday and I'm REALLY hoping today was the worst of it.
And praying that I don't give it to Lochlan. So far so good. I even got Rob to get me a mask to wear when I'm in direct contact with him. Let me tell ya - those things are not fun! Soooo hot! This morning was awful. I had a temp of 101.5 and breathing in and out of that face mask was brutal. I ended up with a headache (although that could be related to my sickness) and felt like I could pass out. Steam kept fogging up my glasses too. Good times. Thankfully, Granny took Abby for the morning and Nana took her for the rest of the day. Really makes a huge difference when I can sleep "when the baby sleeps!" Even if he only seems to be sleeping in 30-45 minute increments. I'll take what I can get. So thankful that Lochlan is a great baby too. He was pretty good at playing and not needing a lot of rocking or soothing today. Perhaps he realized that mommy wasn't feeling well. Although really, he's that great every day.

In the last few weeks, Lochlan has been doing well. A few weeks back, Medigas came and his sat's were all over the map which was strange. But he was up to 96% then he'd drop to 89%...then back up to 93%...wasn't consistent at all. Nothing to be concerned about though.

We skipped last weeks visit since Melissa who is his regular nurse, had a cold. And this week she's on holidays so Graham will be coming to check in on him on Thursday morning. Hopefully Lochlan continues to thrive. Then he'll have one more visit on Dec 3rd and that will be that. No more oxygen tanks in the house! : )

Loch had his flu shot last week. Took it like a champ. I wish mommy had got hers well before now. Silly me. It's definitely high on my priority list. But I think that's how we ended up with the sickness in the house. I took Abby with us on Wednesday when we went to get Lochlan's flu shot and I let her play in the toy room. What was I thinking!!! I even saw that two kids with face masks on had just exited the room. HELLO! Warning!!! The volunteers are pretty good at wiping things down but there's still bound to be some germs in there. Well the next day, Abby has a runny nose and that turned into a bit of a cough. Thankfully, the worst of it was Friday night which really she just wanted mommy and Saturday we had a pretty relaxed day. But I picked up something too. Yay for me!

Anyway, it happens. It's that time of year. Abby was so great this morning though. I told her that mommy wasn't feeling very good and she said "Oh, poor mommy. Here let me hug you. Do you need a kiss?" Such a sweetheart.

I've got more pics to post but they are all on the other computer so I'll try to post some another day. Lochlan's got an appointment with Dr. Moore on Monday. (his pediatrician) I'm anxious to see how much he's gained. I'm really hoping he's close to 9lbs now. He'll probably be around 8lbs, 7oz....aiming higher though. But we'll take what we can get. Slow and steady wins the race.

We've been trying to give him a bottle every now and then fortified with formula. He took it the first few times. Today and tonight...not so much. Refused. Argh! I feel like we're back at square one again. Maybe now it's not coming out fast enough.

Anyway, need to sleep again.
Take care, and stay well.
Jenn

Progress

2010-11-11T20:02:00.012-05:00

Gosh....has it really been pretty much 2 weeks since my last post? Crazy! Time flies!

Lochlan has been doing so amazing! I sometimes forget that he ever was on oxygen or that he went through all that he's been through. He just feels like a newborn to me.

He now weighs 8lbs, 1oz!!! woo-hoo! He made it over the 8 pound mark! So proud. He is just under 22 inches long and his head circumference is 39cm. He's growing! Slowly but surely. So far, I haven't received a call from Dr. Moore about having to supplement him with formula added to a bottle or two a day of breastmilk. I'm really hoping we don't have to go that route. If we do, so be it. I know a lot of moms have to use formula or a mix of both, but my preference for Lochlan is that we don't have to supplement and he can grow on his own with mommy's liquid gold! ; )

Tomorrow Medigas is coming for the second visit since he has been off of the oxygen entirely. Last week he was sat'ing between 93-96%. So good. The plan is for them to monitor him for about a half an hour weekly (every Friday) with the exception of the 26th of this month until December 3rd. That will be the final day of monitoring and they will take all of the oxygen tanks out of the house and we will jump for joy and say "ciao - thanks for your help but we no longer require your assistance!"

Lochlan received his first RSV shot on Wednesday. It's antibodies to fight off RSV.

((((Respiratory syncytial virus (sin-SISH-shul VI-rus), or RSV, is a common, seasonal and easily-spread virus. You've probably had RSV disease and thought it was just a bad cold. In fact, nearly all children will get their first RSV infection by age two.

Most people with RSV disease suffer moderate to severe cold-like symptoms. For some babies, RSV disease can be more serious—it's the #1 cause of hospitalization in infants in the U.S. Preemies and babies with certain heart or lung conditions are at high risk for severe RSV disease, which could lead to serious lung infections like pneumonia and bronchiolitis.))))

Get more info here: www.synagis.com

He will get his next dose in 3 weeks and then every month thereafter until April. Good times. I will be taking him early next week to get his flu shot too. It's so hard to want to go everywhere and be everywhere when I really should be batting down the hatches and staying home most of the winter as a precaution. The risks are pretty high and we don't want Lochlan to get sick.

I always told myself that even though Lochlan is a preemie and we had to haul around the oxygen tank and all that, that I would not let that stand in our way of living a normal life. But the risks are pretty high and we have to be very diligent in washing our hands and making sure that we don't go anywhere where he could pick up something super easy or have anyone over who is sick. Please don't be offended if I constantly ask if everyone is healthy in your home before visiting or having you over for a visit. It's very different if you've read about RSV or the flu/colds for preemies. Colds can be good for babies to build up their immunities but preemies don't have the ability to fight it off like full term babies do. Not yet anyway. And so it can be serious.

On a much happier note, I am starting to settle into a regular routine now and feel much better and capable of raising two kids. The first few months were difficult as those of you with children would know but now that Lochlan is more predictable and Abby is getting used to the idea of having a brother, things have calmed down a bit.
We are all settling into a nice routine. Some days are harder and more challenging than others, but that is to be expected. I'm very thankful to have our moms (and dads) able to spend time with their granddaughter for a weekly sanity break and to be able to get to Lochlan's appointments as well -- HUGE THANK YOU!!!

I'll leave this note with a few more quotes from Miss Abigail this past week:

I think everyone who is in a traffic jam should be in the car with Abby. She is so cute and of course the Abbyisms were non-stop! When we'd finally get going again she'd say..."You're doing it mom! PASS! Keep going mom, you're doing awesome!"

And the second night it happened Abby said: "My rescue pack can help! We need a kite so we can fly over these cars!" She loves watching Diego and singing the songs along with the ones from Dora and even plays out the story-lines even if she's only watched an episode once. There hasn't been a day go by where we have to watch out for the baby puma or rescue a deer! And we get a rope from backpack or whatever else Abby feels we need, or the rescue pack can help us out. "Go Diego go..."

Oh Abby, how I love thee!

Oh...I totally forgot! Halloween came and went since my last post. Here are a few pics to enjoy!

Abby, wondering if we could go yet!

Finally: breathing on his own

2010-10-29T20:03:00.017-04:00

I had a bit of a hard time deciding what I wanted to call this blog. What do you call something so monumental?

I realize it has been over 2 weeks since my last entry. After I wrote the last one ("waiting") I heard from Medigas that we had to wait another 2 weeks for Lochlan to be checked again on room air. Because he was sat'ing high 80s/low 90s, Dr. Flavin felt that he didn't have much wiggle room. I understood. But I was still very pleased with his results. Plus, Lochlan had a bit of a cold at the time so it was good to know he was doing so well.

He surprisingly didn't have any appointments last week. And the 2 weeks passed by pretty quick. Lochlan did have his cold for about a week but thankfully it didn't get too bad. We just had to change his nose prongs more regularly and I gave him some homeopathic medicine to help relieve some discomfort.

Yesterday, (Thursday Oct 28th) Lochlan had an off day. The morning started out great. He was his regular cheery self - smiling and interacting and having a great ole time. Closer to lunch, he started to get fussy. Moaning and whimpering and I discovered he had a low grade fever as well. 99.8 degrees F. It was the moaning and whimpering that got me. Lochlan is a very happy baby. It was definitely not like him to be out of sorts. I debated (with Auntie Noni - thank you Auntie) on taking him in to get checked out. But in the end, we decided to hold off and see how he was with Tylenol in him. (It worked like a charm!) He was back to his regular self today. A bit more sleepy I'd say than usual but overall his happy self. The only issue is that he hasn't pooped in almost 3 days now. VERY unlike him. So unless he poops overnight, I think I will have to take him in to be checked out. Thanks to my mom and dad as well for taking Abby for a sleepover last night and to Granny for taking her to play with Mattea this morning at Aunt Janet's. She had a great time. Happy birthday Bud!! (and Grandpa Bob tomorrow!)

Now to the monumental news: Medigas came this morning. (hence the reason I was concerned Lochlan was getting "sick" yesterday) Loch sat'ed 99-100% at 1/16th oxygen. For his room air test he sat'ed 95-98%!!!!! GO LOCHLAN!! He even got up to 99 and 100% a few times! So happy!

Toughest part was waiting for the official word that the oxygen could be removed. Dr. Flavin had to give the go-ahead. Notice I said, "had." Around 2pm, Medigas called and said that she had paged Dr. Flavin and he said that we could go ahead and remove the oxygen!!!!!!! (I had expressed my concern that I hoped to not have to wait until sometime next week to hear) Hallelujah!

I decided to wait until Rob got home before taking him off the oxygen. It's been a long haul and we've been through it together, I really wanted to share in the moment together as a family. Abby, Lochlan and I went for a walk one last time with the oxygen tank while we waited for daddy to get home. I had called Rob after school to ask if he was planning on being late and he said he had to make one quick stop but no he should be home soon. I told him why and we decided he'd pick up some yummy supper to celebrate.

A few "before" shots

(Abby and Lochlan have the same expression!! ha ha)

Finally...We shut off the tank. (well Abby did) Such a relief. I was so elated I didn't even have tears of joy. I was beyond happy.

We took some family pics to mark to occasion.

And then I took Lochlan room to room to room because I could! I no longer have to lug around an awkward tank. I can dress him and not have to worry about where the tube is, or how it's tucked or pulling on his skin. I bathed him in the actual bathtub for the very first time! (well the bathtub within the bathtub)

I feel so ...overcome with joy. Our miracle baby is okay. He's just fine. I whispered to him that I was so proud of him and that there are so many possibilities in his future. And that I can't wait for him to discover them. That he is a true warrior.

As I type this, I feel tears welling up. This has been a very long process. I know it is not over. We will be working on getting his puffers weaned in the next 3-4 months. But this is another huge hurdle. I keep thinking back to the first day I went into the hospital and after being told that my water had broke and there was very little fluid around the baby that we could choose to end the pregnancy. Actually they kept bring that up. There was no way we could have done that and I'm so glad that we didn't. For us, that decision was the best for our family and in our hearts. (and thank God, everything has gone the way it has) I know that some families make different choices in the same or similar situations and I am in no way judging them for doing what they need/needed to do. You have to make the best decision possible for yourself, and no one has the right to say any different.

I think about the families that have been through this type of journey or will go through this and the outcome is or will be very different from ours. My heart goes out to you.

And then I think about the journey Lochlan has taken (and us too) and everything that we have been through. We are so blessed and I never take anything for granted. Thank you so much for your prayers. You'll never know how truly wonderful you are and how much you have touched our lives.

Summary: (from what I remember anyway - I've blocked out some of it)
water broke 21weeks, 2 days - minimal fluid in the womb - stayed in 4 weeks
Steroid shots 2 days prior to giving birth to help speed along lung development (or create really)
25weeks + 1 day pro-lapsed cord, born May 5th via emergency c-section 1 pound, 12 ounces, 13 inches long
Intubated, oscillator, self extubatations, Bi-PAP, C-PAP,
Bad infection that I've heard nurses and doctors mention pneumonia when referring to it
a blood infection
Quarantined
Shingles (me)
Moved to pediatrics for quarantine

96 days in hospital
a lot of doctors and nurses taking tremendous care of him
so many family, friends, and strangers praying
1 wonderful and supportive husband
1 amazing, patient, and understanding daughter
1 warrior son

Waiting...

2010-10-21T06:15:00.004-04:00

Lochlan's cold seems to be almost gone. Thankfully, he managed to avoid a really bad one. I pray he never gets a bad one....I know it's inevitable, but when he's this young it can be quite dangerous due to his premature lungs. Please don't be too disappointed if we are unable to do anything with you because you have a cold, sniffle, sore throat, or any other sign you are unwell. It just too risky. I understand kids need to build immunities but with preemie babies, it is different.

Loch will be getting his flu shot in the coming few weeks. They are given based on his birth age (so 6 months which for him is just 2 weeks away - crazy!)He will also be getting his RSV shot that has to be given once a month over the cold/flu season.
(a further explanation taken from the web: While RSV, or the respiratory syncytial virus, may just cause a cold in older children, it can cause a serious and life threatening infection in younger high risk children. These children, including premature babies, can develop bronchiolitis, which is associated with inflammation in the lungs, wheezing and difficulty breathing. RSV can also cause croup, ear infections, and pneumonia.)

We are still waiting for Medigas to hear back from Dr. Flavin about Lochlan's oxygen and what the plan is. I have my suspicions that he will need to be tested one more time before coming off of it and I'm praying it's early next week.

He had his latest pediatrician's appointment this past Monday. He now weighs 7lbs, 13oz and is still just under 21 inches long with his head measuring 38cm. He needs to go back in 2 weeks for a weight check because he is not gaining enough weight. He's below the 5th percentile now for weight and between 5-25% for height. If he hasn't gained enough in 2 weeks than we will have to go back to supplementing him. So the plan is if he needs to get a bottle or whatever during the day, then we will add in some formula to up his calories. He's still too young for cereal but the plan is that when he turns 4 months corrected to start him on rice cereal for the extra calories. (she actually asked me if he was showing signs of interest or if he'd lost his tongue thrust instinct) Not yet, no! He's almost 6 months old, but is just the size of Abby when she was born!!! (she was 7lbs, 12 oz and 21 inches long) Crazy!

Gotta go, Lochlan's crying and ready to be fed again!

Room air test

2010-10-15T20:01:00.005-04:00

The day started off with some excitement. Medigas was coming at 9am! Lochlan woke up just before 8am, (and stayed awake because he obviously still wakes up over night many times to eat but thankfully goes right back to sleep) I changed his diaper, changed his nose prongs, and did his puffers. Then I fed him. He was ready!!!

Medigas came... and the machine wasn't working. *big sigh*
He tried for a good 20 mins to get it to work with no luck. Meanwhile I had a sleeping baby in my arms who was more than ready to be tested on room air. (so was his mommy!)

I'd even gave him one of the connectors that I was told to keep from the hospital to try - but no, it was the actual machine. So after some apologies, the plan was for him to call back to let me know if he was going to come later in the afternoon, or on Monday.

Disappointed to say the least. After all the buildup....I knew in my heart, that a few more days wouldn't be a big deal after all this time...but still. When Dr. Flavin told me, 2 weeks or so for him to be on oxygen, then Medigas came after only a few days...I was excited.

So I put Lochlan up in his room to continue his nap, and came downstairs to check a few things on the computer. About 20mins later, I heard the doorbell. He'd come back!
Totally unexpected. But perhaps he saw my disappointment when he left the first time.

Lochlan immediately was sat'ing 98-99% on 1/16th of oxygen. He shut it off (room air) and he was at 95-96% for a little bit, then dropped down to mid 80s and finally to 82% when the O2 was put back on to bring him back up in his saturation.

*sigh*

I need to mention that Lochlan has been fighting a bit of a cold these last few days. Tuesday - his chest was clear according to the doctor, but Wednesday is when I noticed him starting to sneeze and cough a little and sound more congested.

Also...Lochlan was awake by this point when he was testing him. So he was moving his feet around quite a bit which can really hamper the test results and accuracy.

He really ran through the gamet - hiccups, burps, toots, sneezes, yawns, coughs...

Finally, I nursed him and he fell asleep. While he was nursing, he was sat'ing at 95% on room air!!!! And for the remainder of the hour while he slept (and had still feet) he was between 89-93%. VERY GOOD! So proud.

So now we have to wait for the word from Dr. Flavin. He has to say, okay, he's ok to be off of the O2....or wait a few more weeks, try him again and hopefully he'll sat higher just to be sure....or wait until after his cold goes away, and retry him.

But to me, by having a cold and still sat'ing so well, I'm not as concerned about him while he is sick. I know that he can handle anything! And we only need to hang in there a little while longer. What a wonderful Christmas present this will make! (an early one hopefully!)

While the oxygen was shut off, Lochlan reached up and grabbed his prongs and yanked, and the tape came off much to some big cries...I was quick to try to put the prongs back in place but then remembered - oh yeah, he's not on oxygen right now. So I let him not have it retaped while the test was on. I could actually stare at my little miracle without the big tape across his cheek! I say cheek, because as much as wanted to take off the other side, I didn't want to cause any more discomfort just for my gratification!

I wish I'd had the camera closer to me so you could get a glimpse of our handsome baby without the getup. Soon enough!

So we wait. I did ask how long they will wait to hear back from Dr. Flavin before calling him. And they said Monday or Tuesday. Seems so far away since it's leading into the weekend.

A couple of cute quotes from Abby these last few days.

The other day she was loving up on him and kept giving him kisses and hugs and said, "I love you. We're best friends."

And she always says "he's so cute" too. And yesterday afternoon she said "Awe, you're the best Lochlan."

Last night when we were giving him his bath, she was helping to wash his body and I heard, "wash your arm....wash your leg....wash your tail..."

LOL Tail!!!!....oh how cute and hilarious...and innocent.

Thanksgiving and blessings

2010-10-12T07:53:00.009-04:00

Wow! Another week already? The last time Medigas was here for a home visit, I thought, a month seemed so far away and we are one week away from it being a month. Actually, today Lochlan goes to see Dr. Flavin again. It's been 6 weeks since his previous appointment. Dr. Flavin is the respiratory doctor that is following him and ultimately is the one that will decide when Lochlan can come off of oxygen assistance.

I really feel like Loch is ready. He's trying to tell us that he is. He keeps pulling his prongs out. Last night, we changed his tubes, freshened him up and as soon as I put him to bed, he reached up and pulled out his prongs. Um no thank you! So I fixed it obviously. But I was hesitant to leave as you can imagine. So I hovered a wee bit. He did it again. Seriously, Lochlan? I'm not going to stand over you all night!

So I waited until he seemed to be sleeping then slipped out to our room and waited. I was definitely going back to check on him! So, 10 minutes later, I went in, and I heard...."shhhhhh" his tube had become disconnected from the tank. Oh yes it did. And he'd yanked his prongs out again.

I ended up getting more adhesive and changed it completely just to be sure. (The ones we'd put on to hold the tube in place was a bit thin in hopes of not pulling too much on his cheeks upon removal) One other time in the night, I went in to check after I'd fed him (even though he was quiet and sleeping and hadn't heard anything in the monitor) and what did I hear "shhhhhhhhhhhhh" AGAIN! Are you kidding me?!!! How the heck????? Plus he'd had a #2 so could be his kicked and kicked and somehow knocked it out but I have no idea as it's never happened while he's been in his bed before. I also made sure to wrap the tube through the slits in his crib to give it extra protection. But I still slept with one eye open if you will.

That boy, I tell ya! He lets you know when he doesn't like something. Even back when he was in the NICU - pulling his intubation tube out. He still fights hard with his puffers too -- sometimes giving the left hook, then the right, then both! Warrior indeed!

So needless to say I'm anxious to see where he's at with his oxygen. I'm praying today is the day. Although he'll probably have to order it and then next week, Medigas will come to monitor him for the hour. I hope, I pray, he's ready for the next step. I know I can't place too much emphasis on it and end up being disappointed but a gal can hope right?!

Last week, Lochlan had his eye checkup again. It had been 10 days since seeing Dr. Arthur. His eye is still looking good where Dr. Gale did the surgery, but there is a new hemorrage. WHAT??? So now he's going to monitor that. Seriously? Seriously!
But it must not be too much of a concern as his next appointment isn't until November. He did have a very difficult time getting a good look since Lochlan was awake and flailing about. Poor lil guy. I don't blame him. Dr. Arthur said that next time, they may have to take him to the OR to be sedated. Not go under but just enough so he's calm. Well now, you can bet I will definitely be trying to keep him awake and feed him just prior to his appointment so he'll be more chillaxed!

***finally getting back to writing the blog (about 12 hours later!)

Lochlan had his special infant clinic appointment last Wednesday. He is right on target for his corrected age. He's doing so amazing. Smiling and looking around and getting stronger in his neck. He's even started cooing a little bit over the weekend. So cute. The doctor told us to put him down for tummy time about 3 times a day so he can get even stronger! (and maybe it will help round out his little preemie head)

Now that we had his apt with Dr. Flavin since I wrote about it a few paragraphs prior, I can now tell you that it is so important to hope and pray! Lochlan is astounding! He was sat'ing on average 98%!!! Even got up to 99% Go Loch! So they decided to try him off of the O2 altogether and....the first # was 96%...then is gradually dropped and remained at 90% for about a minute.

So.......the big news is: they hope for him to be off of the oxygen in 2 WEEKS!!! And then we'll start to wean him off of his puffers over the next 3-4 months. What a relief! Amazing, my little boy is amazing!

We will meet with Medigas sometime in the next week for the home visit where Melissa will monitor Lochlan over the course of an hour or so with no oxygen. If all goes well and please pray for that - he should be done needing that extra little bit of help! : ) But like I said earlier, he is sooo ready to be done! Yes, Lochlan we can take a hint!

Oh, and he now weighs 7lbs, 10oz. And was 52.5cm long...which I believe is still just under 21 inches long. He's almost as big as when Abby was born. Hard to believe I thought she was teeny tiny at that size - now I feel like Loch is huge! ha ha

So that's my very happy news. What a wonderful Thanksgiving this has been. So very blessed.

P.S. Must share another Abby-ism! Last week we were driving home from my sister, Christina's and it was dark and Abby said: "It's dark out - I need a night light!" : )

Milestones

2010-10-03T08:53:00.013-04:00

Well okay...it's been over a week since my last blog. I find it difficult to blog when all I want to do is sleep when the kids are finally asleep at the same time or do the dishes or catch up on one of my favourite shows. The DVR is almost at capacity and we're gearing up for another week. Oh well...at least you can watch shows online but who knows when I'll get to that either!

Lochlan is doing well. He's getting bigger and is now smiling. He has the cutest little smile. Actually it's a pretty big smile - it fills his entire face. I managed to catch a bit of it in this picture.

He's also started rolling from side to side and is able to move his head from one side to the other.

The problem with blogging week to week is that I forget things that I want to mention. I'll try to remember as best as I can.

Loch had another follow up eye appointment last week and things are healing and looking good. Although they keep mentioning this one thick vessel that they've never seen before. But they aren't concerned, so I shouldn't be either right?

We go back on Thursday and I'm praying that will be the end of opening up his eye with this clamp thing and shining a big light in his eye and poking around in there. It hurts my heart to hear his cries whenever he gets it done. It can't be comfortable. I know it's a necessary evil but still. I think it starts to bother me when there is more than the 2 main doctors looking at him. I'm like...okay....he's good now...okay...you've had your look. I know part of it is so that people can learn and they can confirm as well, but I feel a little bit like, he's been through enough - now it just feels like torture.

Abby loves to help her little brother. Help....yes more like, she wants to do it all herself. This morning when I was typing up this blog (which I had to take about a 3 hour break from doing) I heard, "Mommy, Lochlan pooped!" I said I'd be there in a minute...and then thought better of it. (I can't leave her alone with him but she had been watching a show and I took advantage of the spare moments)

Well, good thing I went in to check. Even though Lochlan was in his playpen, she had his pants off, and his feet up in the air (hiked as far as they would go by the way and he was right up against the side of the playpen) and his one snap undone on his onesie. I scooped him up, much to some protest from Abby who said, "No Mom, I'm doing it."
Um no...

I compromised and had her help me by putting him down on the floor on a change pad and she undid his diaper and even wiped his bum and then did up his new diaper. She actually did a really good job. But man...if he wasn't so fragile, I could practically leave her to babysit. (JOKING)

She helps out all the time and it a wonderful little helper. Helping with his bath, his diapers, etc. But I have also caught her doing some "oh no things" like the story above. Trying to pick him up, burp him, yanking on his oxygen tube...that sort of thing. And then there was the time earlier this week where she tripped and almost kicked him in the head. (at least I think she tripped) I was like, oh be careful honey...or something like that....well wouldn't the lil monkey try to kick him in the head again. Thankfully I caught her just in time and was able to move Lochlan out of harms way. That was definitely a "naughty step" moment.

Overall though, she has been wonderful and really loves her little brother. I can't wait for him to get stronger and bigger so they can play together. Even just to interact a little more. She loves it when he smiles at her. It's super sweet.

The other day Lochlan and Abby both decided to have a poop at the same time. I told Abby this and she said "We're pooping together - as a team!" Here's the pic to go with that story. I had to grab my camera to capture the moment before I was going to change both their bums. She wanted to lay down beside Loch.

I could go on and on about all the cute stories between the two of them. And I'm so thankful they will continue for years to come.

Here are a few pics from when Abby and I went apple picking.

Too cute not to share!

Hallelujah!

2010-09-23T14:11:00.003-04:00

Lochlan's follow-up for his eyes on Monday went well. Both Dr. Gayle and Dr. Arthur were VERY pleased with his eyes. The surgery was a success! We have to go back this coming Monday to make sure the rest of it has healed. [insert sigh of relief here] We did end up waiting a very long time before he was seen however. Which was a bit frustrating, but surprisingly enough, I had a lot of patience that day! It took over an hour before we were even seen to have his eye drops put in, then still had to wait an additional hour for them to dilate his eyes and for the doctors to be ready for us. Needless to say it was a long wait, but so worth the wait for such good news! Medigas came yesterday. (Wednesday) Lochlan remains at 1/16th of oxygen per litre. He was sat'ing on average 93%. If he gets to 97%+ then he will be tried with either a lower setting (only 2 more to go!) or off to see how he does. Melissa is coming again in a month! I know! One more month! But...if Dr. Flavin says to come back in 2 weeks she will to see how's he's progressing. I REALLY hope she comes back in 2 weeks and he's ready for a trial off of the oxgyen. That would be so fantastic! Don't want to get my hopes up....but you never know with this little miracle! Speaking of off of oxgyen...whoopsie...mommy was over tired on Monday night and I went to take him upstairs and realized the regulator was still on the one tank and wanted it to be on a bigger one that's in his room...well I transferred his tubing to the smaller tank, realized I wanted to do something different, and then transferred him back to the main tank in the living room. (all of which took about 30 seconds) Well....I forgot to put the oxygen back on! Seriously, Jenn? I had no idea until about oh...a half an hour...45 minutes later. Lochlan was alert and looking at me and smiling (which he's starting doing the past week or so) and was showing no signs that anything was different. Then I thought, oh I'll transfer him now...(after I'd did what I needed to do-- I had been side tracked too with a phone call) and then I realized my error. Are you kidding me? I was shocked and annoyed with myself! How could I have done that? Thankfully Loch was okay. Didn't change colour, didn't breathe or act any different. Today was his paedatrician's appointment. He now weighs...ready for it? 7lbs and 4 oz!!!!And is 50.5 cm long (almost 20 inches...i think it's like 19 3/4 inches) His head circumference is 36.5cm. He's growing! He's growing! But....he's still on the low end of the growth chart for very low birth weight children. (5th percentile for weight ..a little higher for height) AND...another happy note...his head ultrasound from last Friday is NORMAL!!!! No brain bleeds...everything looks great! I AM SOOOO HAPPY!!!! I immediately said.."praise the Lord!" So they've increased his iron but other than that we go back in a month! I can't thank you enough for your thoughts and prayers. He truly is a miracle. Sorry the video is so dark.

Sigh of relief: post eye surgery

2010-09-16T21:39:00.010-04:00

I'm so relieved to tell you that Lochlan's surgery went well. Dr. Gale said he sailed through it. So proud.

We got the call just after 11am that the OR was booked for after 4pm that day but that he was on standby basically. The Pedatrics team told me to bring Lochlan in around 3:30pm and to not feed him after 12noon. I had my concerns because I know how these things can go...especially if he wasn't booked in for surgery just on call.
I didn't want my monkey to not be able to eat for that long. He usually eats between 2 and 3 hours in the afternoon. But he had to have an empty stomach for 4 hours prior to surgery.

We waited. And we waited. He finally got some sugar water between 5 and 6pm after he got his IV in. His nurse was going to put it in his head but I asked if that really was a good idea if he was getting eye surgery -- maneuvering his head etc...so they agreed and decided to try his foot. Didn't go so well. Tried his other foot...that didn't work either. So they went for his his again. He has an incredible vein his head that just screams to have an IV in it! I can understand why she wanted to use it in the first place.

IV was in place. All that was left to do was wait. Lochlan was amazing as usual. He handled not having any food incredibly well. I was expecting him to just lose it at some point, but other than a few small bouts of crying, he was really good.

He went in for surgery around 7pm...7 hours after having breastmilk. Poor lil monkey.
The anesthesiologist was amazing and so very nice. Rob and I waited in the OR waiting room and just before 9pm Dr. Gale came out and said how well the procedure went. He ended up not doing laser. I can't remember what the procedure was called but it's what they used to do all the time. I guess the laser wasn't working or something. Anyway, the good thing is it's done and over with and we can breathe a big sigh of relief. They didn't have to tube him as they say. (intubate --- where they put a tube down his throat to help him breathe while he's under) Another big sigh there.

He will go back on Monday to have his eye rechecked to make sure everything is good and regressing as it should now. Please pray for that! If not, they can do another surgery where they inject a medicine in the eye. How fun does that sound!?

Loch was moved back up to peds in the PCCU for close monitoring. Lucky for us, Christine from the NICU was his nurse! I really liked her from before when she had been his nurse.

Shortly after we got up there, I nursed him. He was slightly awake and so he fed around 10pm. He was a starvin marvin. But he was also beat muskeet so he didn't go very long. Then he nursed again at midnight and then slept until 4am!! Only because Christine had to wake us both up since he was going past 4 hours. So needless to say, he had a great night.

I forgot to mention that Lochlan's eye looked like he'd been in a bar fight. And it wasn't helping that he was mainly turned towards that eye because the IV was on the opposite side of his head. So that was puffing it up even more.

Still cute as ever though.

Just after 8am, we were moved to a regular room on the pedatrics floor. It was basically a sit and wait to be discharged based on his O2 requirements. They wanted to release him on the same settings he came in on. (1/16th of a litre) During sugery and for a few hours after because of the deeper sedation, he was on 1 litre of oxygen. I was a bit nervous it would take a while to get there.

Finally between 4pm and 5pm, he was back to his baseline of 1/16th. He remained sat'ing well and we were able to be discharged!

We made a pitstop at the NICU for a quick visit since we hadn't said our goodbyes and thankyous when Lochlan was officially discharged from the hospital to come home on August 16th. We were able to visit with 3 of his nurses: Mary Anne, Cathy, and Lois. I plan on bringing him back in a week or so to see a couple of the other nurses I really liked.

So that's where things are at. He needs to have eye ointment put on his eye twice a day and as mentioned before, he'll go back on Monday for a follow up appointment.

Tomorrow, he had his head ultrasound to check for development and any bleeds. I'm praying everything will be normal. The last time he'd had his head ultrasound was after his last eye surgery. It was normal then. So I hope nothing has changed. I say normal but they said they didn't comment on anything so I hope that means it was normal. That the blood had reabsorbed.

Oh, I forgot to mention. Lochlan was weighed on Tuesday afternoon. He's 6 pounds and 12 ounces!! He gained almost 2 pounds since coming home almost a month ago! He's 19 inches long too. Grow baby grow!

Here are a bunch of pics from the last few weeks. Enjoy! And thank you for your continued support and prayers.

*hugs*

Jenn

Post op.

Prayers

2010-09-13T23:08:00.003-04:00

I am going to keep this short as I need to get to bed but I wanted to write to ask you to say a prayer or two for Lochlan.

He will be having eye surgery tomorrow. I have to wait for the phone call and then take him in. He will be have to be admitted and will be there for probably at least 24 hours. Good news is, they might not have to intubate him.

I am nervous. It is a necessary evil. And I pray my warrior baby handles it like he's handled everything else - like a champion!

See no evil, hear no evil...

2010-09-10T05:11:00.009-04:00

Wow! My last post was September 1st! It's now September 10th. Sorry about that. I've just been a little occupied to be able to sit down and blog.

Lochlan had his hearing test on Friday (the 3rd) and he did amazing to sleep pretty much throughout the entire thing. I wish I'd brought my camera. He looked liked a little alien baby - hooked up to all this monitors on his head and in his ears. Crazy.

He has to go back in a few weeks to get retested as his left ear is showing some mild elevation or something like that or maybe I'm making up something here. Anyway, he's showing some hearing loss in that ear in certain frequencies and the right ear was even milder. But there was also a test to see if there was any fluid built up and there was...so that's why the technician or doctor or whatever she was said she wasn't concerned and that she thinks the hearing loss is only temporary.

We'll go back in about 3 weeks time and go through the process all over again. Hopefully by this time, he'll have no issues. But he will continue to be followed over the next year or so like everything else.

His appointment with Dr. Arthur (eyes) was still the same as last week. Still watching the one area in his left eye very closely. He said that it hadn't really changed...there was still some bleeding which makes him believe that it's not regressing as much as we'd hope. And that it is showing signs of detaching from the retina...but it may or may not be taking it with it. Sorry...I can't really remember...all I know is that we have to go back again on Monday. I keep praying his eye will heal and he won't need to have more surgery.

(One of the onesies that Carol made up for Lochlan - I need to post the other 2 cause they are hilarious)

Lochlan had another appointment with Melissa from Medigas and he was able to be weaned a tiny bit!!! So exciting! He's now on 1/16th of a litre. (down from 1/8th) It's the next setting on the regulator. Basically there's only 2 more settings to go (1/32 and 1/64)...but he could always come off the oxygen from 1/16th. We shall see (and pray) Melissa will be coming back for the home visit in 2 weeks and then monthly she said. She also said she thinks Dr. Flavin will keep Lochlan on 1/16th for a while. So not be weaned again in 2 weeks. But hopefully at the monthly visit after that, he'll be ready to come off it entirely. Time will only tell.

It's still pretty freakin' incredible that his lungs are growing and getting better. Considering where they started from. They have been his biggest issue and it's unbelievable that you can grow new lungs! Thank God for that!

That's where the appointments and results have been over the last few weeks. I think I'm remembering everything. Lochlan has been doing extremely well. He's had his share of fussiness but I'll take crying and fussiness to remind me he's here with us anyday!

Lochlan is sleeping in his room for the first time overnight tonight. We decided to try it out to see if he'd sleep better and we'd sleep better. And also because if Abby ends up in our room at some point in the night, she's most times up when Lochlan's up which is a problem as the other night he was having a fussy night and she was up for almost 2 hours in the night as a result. She's not cranky just wants to help. So far so good in his room. Sometimes throughout the day, I'll put him in his crib to sleep and he's done amazing. I remember with Abby around the time she was 3 weeks old, we moved her to her crib because she was making all the grunting noises and we couldn't sleep/she couldn't sleep. It seems to be the same with Lochlan.

I need to share another Abby quote. The other day was Rob's birthday and we were all sitting around the table having dinner and there was a lull in the converstation (very brief as we're all talkers) and she goes "ha ha soooo....look at that tree over there!" She wanted to be part of the conversation! How cute. I think that has to be one of my favourite quotes from her so far.

A couple of pics of Abigail from the other day when she was playing mommy with her baby. Which by the way this picture was taken just after she has lifted her shirt up and said "I'm feeding the baby!" (oh dear...) then changed his bum, and put him in Lochlan's chair. Cute.

The other is from when we made necklaces and bracelets. She was showing them off. (and she had to wear her headband that she put on herself) "Boo-yah!"

I'll try to blog sooner rather than later.

P.S. Thanks Auntie Noni for taking Abby to see the horses so I could take a nap while Lochlan had his today!

Packing it on!

2010-09-01T00:01:00.002-04:00

Lochlan is doing amazing. Last week Medigas came for a home visit with the hopeful intention of weaning his oxygen requirements as per Dr. Flavin. Unfortunately, he wasn't ready. He's still sat'ing well but he dropped to the mid 80s at one point when he was on 1/16 so she put him back to 1/8th. I was a little disappointed but understand that he wasn't quite ready. I think what made it difficult was that I really thought he'd be weaned. Oh well. He'll get there!

Overall the week went by great. Hard to believe he's been home now for over 2 weeks!
He had his 2nd pediatrician appointment with Dr. Moore who is wonderful by the way, and he now weighs 5lbs, 13 3/4 ounces!!!! He gained pretty much an ounce a day since his last weigh in which was 2 weeks ago. Because he's been gaining so well, we no longer have to give him 2 bottles of fortified breastmilk. He goes again in 3 weeks for his next checkup so hopefully he'll have gained some more weight without having to go back on the fortified milk.

He's 18 inches long. (Grown 5 inches since birth!!!) And I'm finding the preemie clothes are not quite fitting as well anymore. He can't wear the sleepers because they are too short for him! The onesies still work though. I knew he was gaining weight over the last few weeks as his clothes were fitting better and he looks a little chunkier...like I ever thought I'd be saying that!! ha ha! Chunkier!!

Anyway, I need to cut this short as Lochlan is waking up to be fed. When he's hungry, he's hungry!!

Til next time,
Jenn

Finally home!

2010-08-23T14:56:00.021-04:00

Wow. Okay, lots to blog about. So sorry it's been over a week since my last post. (but I have been a little busy - and tired!)

I'll try to remember as much as I can and keep it in sequential order.

To start though, here are a few pics from a few weeks ago.

On Friday, August 13th, I ended up going to see the dermatologist who basically laughed at the situation and said no it's not bed bug bites. That it was ...what did she say...non specific. A bit waste of time but whatever, better to rule it out than go on getting freaked out I had bed bugs at home! Phew! What a relief!

So we geared up for the 2 day care by parent. Which went awesome! It wasn't that boring to be honest. I had the laptop, some movies, magazines, books, tv...but you know what -- the best thing of all was - I had my son!! We managed to get a little sleep and enjoyed knowing that we were going to be taking him home soon. Thanks Mom for bringing in a few meals. (and to Rosemary for cooking some up at home)

(I probably would have written so much more about it, but I would be here til next Tuesday typing)

Monday morning couldn't come soon enough. Medigas, the company who is supplying the oxygen came to show us how to hook him up, transfer cylinders, etc. We ended up waiting until 1pm for them to show. We thought it would be a 5min thing and they'd follow us home and get it all set up. Nope. An hour later --- we were good to go home! Thankfully, the nurses and doctors had given us everything we needed so we could go after Medigas taught us the ropes.
One last snuggle as we waited for Medigas to arrive.

And we were off!

He handled the car ride home pretty good. When we pulled into our driveway, I wish I'd had a video camera or at least thought to take a picture! (But I was really living in the moment) Abby was jumping up and down and clapping for joy. It was soooo cute. We were greeted to a wonderful welcome home complete with signs and balloons and streamers. (and yummy dinners as well thanks to Rosemary and Fiona - mmmm...thank you thank you thank you!) Thanks also to Lana for bringing by a super yummy meal last week. It's greatly appreciated.

It was soo nice to be home. I thought when I left the hospital I would be emotional but I wasn't really. Just elated to be leaving the place that we have been going to every day for the past 3 1/2 months. When we arrived home however I was overcome with emotion. I couldn't help the tears in my eyes. What a wonderful feeling finally being able to bring our son home.

And the feelings were mutal as you can see in the faces of those that met him for the very first time.

Abby was all over her baby brother as well. So quick to want to hold him and love up on him!

The week has gone by in a flash. I can't believe Lochlan has been home with us now for one week. He had his pediatrician's appointment on Wednesday and he weighs 5lbs, 1 1/2 ounces. And he is 18 inches long! I think his head circumference was 33 1/2 cm.
I was just so happy he'd gained some weight! Not a lot, but a little!

He also had his eyes checked by Dr. Arthur who said he's right eye is fine. But his left eye may need to have laser surgery again. Poor little monkey. He decided, well we all decided to give it until Monday to see if there was any changes. It's like walking a tight rope though. You don't want to leave it too long if it's not getting better because he could go blind in that eye.

Besides the usual sleep deprivation that comes with having a newborn in the house, things have gone really well. We've settled into a nice routine of meds - elemental iron, pediavit daily, plus his 3 puffers - salbutomol, atrovent, and flovent which he gets 2 puffs, 3 x a day (except for the flovent which is 3 puffs, 3 x a day) He also is still on lasix which we give him once every other day. And of course the oxygen. Which medigas is coming on Wednesday (this wed) to change his dosage if he's sat'ing well. The doctors have ordered him to be lowered!! Woo-hoo! Slowly but surely we'll get him off of this oxygen! He's getting 1/8 of a litre per minute. Which is almost nothing really! He's also needing to be supplemented with fortified breastmilk twice a day.

But I must say it's been a bit of a pain really. You really take for granted the fact that you can just pick up your baby and go. With Lochlan, we are stationed in the family room unless we hook him up to his portable oxygen tank. Which isn't a huge process, but it's not exactly a light load. It's more awkward than anything. So it's been a huge adjustment in that sense and I can't wait for the oxygen assistance to be done and over with.

But when I think about all that's he's been through these past 3 1/2 months (96days), it blows my mind. I can't thank you enough for all of your prayers and love and support. We are so appreciative.

Today, Monday. August 23rd Lochlan had another follow up eye appointment. Dr. Arthur checked him out again along with his coworker who afterwards discussed the fact that nothing had changed. (last week, he'd said if nothing had changed he'd have to have surgery) and he mentioned a few new hemmorages. Great. Instant tears. I do not want my baby to go through anything else. I know it's for the best if it gets done but NO MORE!!! Thankfully, Dr. Gayle came in and he checked him out (he's the one that did the last surgery) and said that he doesn't feel he needs to have surgery right now. He doesn't want to put Lochlan, or us, through that again. So we are going back again next Monday for another look. Please pray it regresses and is on the mend. If he needs surgery, so be it. But I really pray he doesn't. Dr. Gayle said that it was the scariest surgery he's been in. Oh great. That's comforting! But that's also because of the complications at the end of the last one right. The whole, tube slipping and then having to have chest compressions...yeah we'll stay away from that if we can please!!

So that's where things are now. Abby has been a wonderful big sister and helper. She loves him so much. It's been tough to get her to understand that she can't hold him all the time and the times that she wants mommy and mommy has to feed Lochlan or tend to his needs. But we're all getting there and adjusting together. We're trying the best that we can to involve her in his care and to also spend every chance possible with her. I love them both so much and am so happy to have them both finally together under one roof with Rob and I.

Blog to come

2010-08-17T21:28:00.002-04:00

I promise I will blog as soon as I can. I'm still trying to juggle life with a two year old and a "newborn" on oxygen.

Have lots of pics to share and I am sooo very happy.

Must share this quote from today from Abby. She was talking about Lochlan and I told her that when he gets bigger, she can play with him. And she said "awe....thanks mom!"

Nuff said!

Let the countdown begin!

2010-08-14T17:53:00.006-04:00

How exciting! I am sitting in Lochlan's care-by-parent room here at the hospital typing this. We are gearing up to bring him home on Monday. Care-by-parent means we do everything - as if we're at home, and still have the support of the nurses/doctors if we need them. (They don't come in to assess him, give him meds,etc. We do it all)

How exciting! Oh wait, I already said that!

Lochlan is doing so great. He now off of his monitors following his car seat test.(He aced it!)

"Please mom, no pictures! I'm not quite sure what this thing is all about! Quite frankly, I'm a little freaked out!"

"Whoah! Hang on..."

He was sat'ing very well and he is now on .1 litre of oxygen. He was doing great on .05 litres but rather than having to adjust anything when we get home, he'll be on a set rate. Generally, they double it. Medigas, the company that will be supplying the oxygen is coming on Monday morning to set us up with the portable oxygen tank so we can take him home and be a bit mobile. Then they'll follow us when we leave to set up his permanent (at least for a few months) oxygen. Approx. every week, he'll be checked to see how he's sat'ing and if it's 100%, they'll decrease his O2 accordingly until eventually, he won't require any oxygen!

My mysterious "bed bug" bites ended up being nothing. The Infectious Disease people at the hospital sent me to see a dermatologist who basically laughed and wondered why I was even there. She said it was nothing and unspecific. NOT bedbugs! THANK GOD! At least now I can sleep in my bed without getting a little freaked out!

Guess we'll never know what it actually was.

As we gear up for Lochlan to come home, there's so much to remember. A bit overwhelming really. Lots of follow up appointments, and medications to administer. (Iron, vitamins, lasix, his 3 different puffers, and I feel like I'm missing one!) Yikes!

His potassium, caffeine, and sodium was discontinued yesterday. As was his human milk fortifier since I am now exclusively breastfeeding! woo-hoo!

He now weighs (as of yesterday) 5 pounds! (and .72 ounces!) Grow baby grow! And he's 43cm long (as of August 1st) which is 17 inches. He's too long for his preemie sleepers but the onesies still fit. Yet his newborn outfits he swims in. I bought these teeny tiny socks the other day and thought, gee I don't know if these will fit him, they look too small. Nope! They fit perfectly! I should take a picture comparing them to my socks!

I'm trying to remember if there has been anything else this week. I've been spending A LOT of time at the hospital. Thanks to Nana & Poppa, Granny & Grampa for taking great care of Abby. We're so lucky to have wonderful parents and that Abby loves spending time with them. Yesterday when I was getting ready to go back to the hospital, I said goodbye to Ab and she says "I just wanna snuggle for a minute!" So cute! How can you say no to that!! She definitely has been feeling the effects of my absence and the changes that are taking place and that are coming. She's lost a bit of her appetite and been a tad tempermental. But overall, she's adjusting really well. I pray when Lochlan comes home she will embrace it, rather than get overly jealous. We're going to try to involve her as much as possible and of course get in some just Abby and mommy time/Abby and daddy time. It will be an adjustment for all of us.

Daddy changing Lochlan's diaper for the first time!

Thank you to Mary Elaine for dropping off supper the other night. It was greatly appreciated. And ended up stretching out to a few lunches too!

I will try to blog as much as I can in the next little while. (and beyond with Lochlan's progress) But I think you'll understand if it takes a few days once we get him home.

Thank you for following my blog, and all your support and most definitely, all your prayers! They have worked! We are bringing our miracle baby home on Monday!!!!

Lochlan hanging out in his new room!

"Shout it, shout it, shout it out loud!"

2010-08-10T19:05:00.020-04:00

I can't believe I quoted a KISS song. I must be married to Rob!

I'll get to the reason I picked that blog title in a minute. It's worth the wait - trust me!

Yesterday, I noticed I had a few red bumps on my left abdomen. I wasn't overly concerned thinking they were bug bites. No big deal. Last night after coming home from the hospital, I had way more. Left abdomen, left lower back, and left bosom. A little itchy but nothing like the "shingles" I apparently had a few weeks back. Side note -- the blood test came back from that and it was negative. But the doctor said it may have been that I was tested too early. Righto...the swab results still are not back yet.

Anyway, I decided to book an appointment with my doctor to go see what was up. (and fretted in the process) I told Lochlan's nurse and waited to call the doctor's office for 9am. (when they open) My doctor (well the receptionist who books the appts and consulted with one of the doctor's said to contact Dr. Onyette (she's on holidays and out of the country by the way) but to contact her office and infectious disease and have them consult on it. Take a look, etc.

I called Lochlan's nurse, told her this...she said she'd ask around as Dr. Onyette doesn't really have a replacement while she's away. And that it should be my doctor who diagnosis it. Which I thought the same thing to begin with but whatever.

The hospital called me back and said that it was okay to come in and feed Lochlan. (He's already in isolation) I called back my Doc and got an appt for 1:30pm.

End result: Doctor said I have....ready for this? Bed bug bites! Are you freakin' kidding me? Bed bugs!! That's just nasty! And where the heck did those come from? Rob and Abby don't have any bites so I'm thinking it's not our mattress but I did sleep in the chair that pulls out into a cot at the hospital the last few nights for a few hours each. Either way, I went home immediately and threw my sheets in a hot water wash cycle. They did say that Kingston has a bit of an outbreak of bed bugs. Nice eh! Even in the cleanest of homes and hotels.

I'm freaked out about the bed bugs thing but a bit relieved that it's nothing more serious. I honestly thought, if they make me stay away from Lochlan for another week or more, I will lose my mind.

Well....now I'm being told that infectious disease control wants me to go see the dermatologist to confirm the diagnosis. Argh! They don't trust my doctor! Or the person she got a second opinion from who I believe is a pretty high up doctor.

So now I have to wait to see when that appointment will be. This hospital must love me. I did mention how I thought it might be from sleeping on their cot. Perhaps they are concerned they have a bed bug problem at KGH! Either way, they said it could affect Lochlan's care as well. Better not! Because I have wonderful news to share!

Lochlan is set to be discharged on Monday!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOOOOO! This is the "Shout it, shout it, shout it out loud!" part!

I pray all goes well and we can keep this date! Thursday and Friday I will be nursing him all day (8-8 or 11-11) and then Saturday and Sunday we will be doing care by parent where it's like being at home but with the nurses and doctors right outside the door. So we'll be doing everything - nursing him, changing his diapers (which I've been doing when I'm here anyway) and doing all of his care.

If that goes well, fingers crossed and prayers said, he will be discharged Monday!!!!
They said they feel that he is ready to go home but would like him to stay in the hospital for a few more days and they don't like to discharge leading up to or over the weekend.

He will be going home on low flow oxygen and I had to fill out the paperwork for that today. So we'll learn how to do all that.

Amazing! Finally an end in sight! I don't want to get my hopes up too much but it's hard not to.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE pray that everything goes smoothly and we can bring our miracle son home.

Latest pics:
Nana having a cuddle for the very first time.

Granny having a cuddle for the very first time.

and Aunt Chrissy!

Check out the peeker in the door window!

And one with Abby and mommy.

Back to PCCU & new pics

2010-08-07T13:17:00.007-04:00

Our first overnight together was...interesting. We had discussed nursing overnight if Lochlan was awake otherwise he would be fed through his NG tube. And I was supposed to be woken up to pump if he wasn't going to be nursed. Well...that never happened. I stirred when the nurses came in the room but didn't get up thinking they'd say, oh he's awake or whatever.

Then I heard him bottle feeding. What the frig?! This really upset me cause I had to get up to pump anyway. I did so and while I was pumping, Lochlan had a big poop. It was one of those things where I was like, can I change him myself? Do I need to get permission? Strange feeling to say the least.

So I went out and gave them my milk and told them he had pooped but he was settled and that I would change him if he was at home. And they said they'd be in in a bit.

So I went back to our room and layed there and thought, this doesn't feel right. It drove me crazy that I was staying the night and yet I was just a passenger on the train.

Needless to say, I did voice my concerns the next morning to one of the doctors. I still don't know why I wasn't given the opportunity to breastfeed. I asked if it takes more energy than bottle feeding and he said no. (the Dr.) Basically they said I should have been woken up.

Anyway, it ended up not being what I was expecting for our first sleepover.

Yesterday, Lochlan's nurse mentioned something about them thinking of moving him back to the step down unit. (Pediatric Critial Care Unit or PCCU) This was where he was moved to directly from the NICU. They had taken his monitors off when he moved to his regular room and they were finally starting to see that this may be not the best idea. HELLO!!!

I started to get a little upset because I thought, oh no, here we go again...another change. I asked for Claire to come up (the social worker) because I felt like I needed to talk to her.

As I was having a moment, the team of doctors came in. They said they had decided it was best to move Lochlan to the step down, not because he was digressing, but because they wanted to watch over him more closely. I had asked when he was first moved to his room, whether if something happened - mainly thinking of his nose prongs coming out, would anyone know and they had said no.
The doctor said this was a concern (ya think?) and that if his prongs did come out of his nose, he would just stop breathing. He wouldn't grunt, or groan or let you know in any way. That's a comforting thought isn't it?

My concern was why did they move him in the first place? They said something about protocol with not having had any spells for 10days in a row....blah blah blah. I think they must have forgot how little he is and how early he was born. I really think they've been kind of shooting from the hip if you will.

So that upset me. Not that he was going to be monitored and moved because of it but because there have been so many changes and different directions, and stories and too much to handle really.

They can't monitor him in the regular room because it's not hooked up to the nurses station.

Okay, so know I am sitting in his step down room in PCCU typing this. The plan is to nurse him 4 times a day and then gabboge him the other 4 times. Gabboge meaning feeding him through his NG tube so he gets a break. Didn't learn that word until coming over to peds. He is nursing like a champion. Amazing my little boy. He needs to gain 30grams a day before they will increase his nursing attempts. So they would like for him to eventually be nursing or bottle feeding entirely and still gaining weight so the NG tube can come out and then we can think about him coming home. He could still come home on oxygen which will more than likely be the case.

So that's where it all sits. I'm trying to be in 2 places at once - here with Lochlan and at home with Abby. (and Rob) Yesterday, I came for his 8:30am feed and stayed until I nursed him again at 11:30am. I went home around 1:30pm and after Abby's nap, we went to a cottage where Chris & Brad were. Had a great time actually. It was nice to have a bit of a break. Then I came back to the hospital to do his 8:30pm and 11:30pm feeds. He was amazing again! Thankfully I asked for a cot and was able to sleep for about an hour in between feeds. (There's no TV in this room unlike his other room - but I needed sleep more anyway!)

Today, I decided to spend the morning with Abby and then come to feed Lochlan and spend some time with him for the 11:30am and the 2:30pm feeds. Then I'll go home and spend time with Abby again and come back after she's in bed for the 8:30pm/11:30pm feeds. This will be my life for the next few weeks at least until we increase the number of times he's nursing (and in that case, I may just camp out in the hospital and take a few hours to go home every now and then) or until Lochlan is able to come home. I pray this only lasts for a few weeks. He is feedings every 3 hours so I'm trying to figure out what the best plan would be. He does 2:30am, 5:30am, 8:30am, 11:30am, 2:30pm, 5:30pm, 8:30pm, 11:30pm. So deciding what is best for our family...so that I can still keep it as normal as possible for Abby. (on a side note - we finally got her big girl bed and she loves it so we'll see how it goes tonight. Last night, she fell asleep on the way home from the cottage and I was able to plop her into bed. She arrived in our bed at 4:30am! Not bad...)

Thursday, he had his eyes rechecked. And the Doctor said they looked great. I guess there was a concern about his left eye last week when they checked it but now it's better. Phew! Otherwise he'd have to get laser surgery again or some other procedure done.

At 40 weeks gestation, which is 1 week from Tuesday, he will be off the caffeine meds. (This helps prevent apnea which he's never had a problem with)

Sorry this is all over the place in terms of my thought process and update. It's been a few days since I blogged and I'm trying to remember everything.

Lochlan's weight is now 2100 grams (2.1kg) In terms of pounds and ounces....somewhere around 4 1/2 pounds. I know that 2400 grams is 5 pounds. So do the math!! : )

Today he gained only 15 grams. Not the 30grams they want to see but I'm just happy he gained at all! Yesterday, he stayed the same. He'll get there! Give him a break! He's already way more than when he was born!

Here are a few pics to enjoy. I will post a few more in my next blog. Aunt Chrissy came to meet him on Thursday for the very first time. He's allowed a few visitors now so I'll post those tomorrow. My camera is too far away! ha ha

Our first overnight

2010-08-04T21:45:00.006-04:00

What a day! I am completely and utterly exhausted but oh so content to be sitting here - in Lochlan's room at the hospital, typing this. Let me back up.

I had a wonderful morning with Abby - playing at the playground, swimming, and more. We actually got a call from the hospital saying that they needed more milk for the 2pm feed. I had been planning on coming in anyway, so off I went after putting Abby down for her nap (and showering!)

When I got here, Lochlan was indeed in his new room. Still in peds, still a private room, but it feels more like a regular patient room. We have our own bathroom and shower and a great view still of Lake Ontario. We also have a phone to call and receive and a TV!!! (with free cable!)

Technically he's still in isolation, but Rob and I don't have to wear gowns or gloves or face masks. We've been exposed already and I've been treated so there's no need to be cautious about us. THANK GOODNESS! Now we can hold our baby without the getup! And feel semi normal about it.

The thing I noticed immediately was that Lochlan was all alone. He started getting a bit fussy as I knew it was near feeding time so I went to see if I could track down his nurse. Which she was on her way anyway. But even though I knew that Loch and I were being left alone more so than usual, I still felt like he was alone way too much. Rob and I talked about it, and one of us, or a family member will be present almost at all times.

I asked the nurse if there was something to tell them if he was having a problem and she said no. This did not sit well with me and that is the reason Rob and I will be here. Also because when he is crying or needing a snuggle, we can be here to soothe him or provide him what he needs. I guess the nurse does come in to check on him every 15 mins but that is too long for me!

I get that his monitors were removed for a good reason- and that he had to pass certain criteria in order for that to happen and that they would absolutely not stop monitoring if they didn't 100% believe he'd be okay. But still - what if his nose prongs came out? Couldn't handle that.

It's tough though. Wanting so bad to be home with Abby to keep everything as normal as possible for her. She's been so great throughout everything - me being in the hospital for over a week a few times, having a baby brother and not quite understanding the situation, moving, new bed...all these changes and she's been amazing. We have been struggling with bedtime lately but I get it. And it will probably happen for a while after Lochlan comes home.

But you know what - it's fine by me if we have all four of us sleeping in the same room for a bit. For a bit!!!!

So getting back to the afternoon - I nursed Lochlan and he was a pro again! I also got to change his diaper and while doing so, he was like "oh yeah mommy, watch this!" And he peed all over his sleeper and bedding. Whoopsie! Forgot to prepare for that. Then after I snapped up his last snap, the little monkey took a big poop! So we had to change him again. Thankfully I did a good job putting the diaper on in the first place, so his sleeper was still good. He gave me a wee little smile after that one!
Some much needed relief I bet!

Later, after he'd been sleeping for a bit, he started getting fussy. I was able to pick him up (we were alone together) and soothe him. Ended up needed another diaper change as he'd had a big pee! Yay me for being able to figure out what he needed.

It's so nice to be able to pick him up when I want and do normal mom/baby things. I can't go very far since he's hooked up to the oxygen but other than that, we're good to move around a bit.

Rob came by with Abby around 5pm. I was actually getting ready to nurse again. Abby was so excited to see her baby brother. She's so adorable with him and wants to touch him and put his soother in his mouth and just be helpful. I think it helped click for as well the reason why I pump. She didn't seem put out by it at all. I just hope that because I said Lochlan was having his supper that she doesn't one day ask me for that meal! ha ha

Oh, before I forget Lochlan's weight is up to 2025grams. Around 4 1/2 pounds if I'm not mistaken. I don't feel like looking it up right now.

I took Abby home and did the bedtime routine, until Rob came home and stepped in to try to actually get her to stay in bed. Good thing we are both pretty patient!
Thank you so much to Rosemary and Auntie Janet for helping to organize our house and also for supper tonight. It's greatly appreciated.

I got a ride with Rosemary back down to the hospital (THANK YOU again!) so I won't have my car here overnight. It can get pretty pricey even though overnight I'd be able to park on the street.

So here I sit, typing this, watching my son sleep. I feel content to be here, yet guilt over not being at home. I know Abby is sleeping, but still, not to be there if she wakes up in the middle of the night, or to be there first thing in the morning, is very difficult. But I feel the same about Lochlan. I just can't be in two places at once. I wish I could. I really wish I could have my family together under one roof. Soon enough.

I will note that Loch has another male nurse tonight. I'm wondering how many dudes are going to get to seem my bobbies before this is all over. Yesterday, I was like, oh whatever- I'm feeding my son. Today, it's a younger guy and that's a bit awkward. But I'm sure once it comes time for me to nurse Lochlan, I really won't care. And for the most part, we'll be left alone anyway. Oh the things we do!

We took some really cute pics tonight as a family, but of course, I can't seem to find the camera right now. I may have left it at home. So I'll try to post those tomorrow.

I think I'll try to get some rest before Lochlan wakes up to nurse at 11pm. He took a full bottle (his full 38ml) at the 8:15pm feed. They asked me what I'd like to do overnight. Well I'm certainly not going to give him a bottle and then go pump! I might as well nurse him as much as I can. That's the main thing he needs to do before he can go home. So why wouldn't I?!

Keep us in your prayers,
Jenn

Reunited! (and it feels so good)

2010-08-04T07:44:00.012-04:00

FINALLY! I got to snuggle with Lochlan! After one week of not being allowed to visit him, I was able to go yesterday. (Tuesday) His new digs are pretty darn nice. I know I was a bit sad that he was leaving the routine of what I knew with the NICU but man, that new pediatrics floor is awesome.

He's in an open crib!!!! YAHOOO!!! And wearing his super sweet clothes. That actually are too small for him! No more preemie clothes!

He looked so teeny tiny in that big ol crib.

He had a pretty good view too of the lake. And I was able to nurse him again. At first, I tried the bottle, but kept dropping little hints at how he'd soon be able to nurse again and his nurse said, that I was given the all clear. Didn't take me long to get ready to do that! (Loch wasn't too keen on the bottle but I don't blame him - I mean really, why give him the bottle if mommy has the super soothing good stuff! Even though my milk was in the bottle - just not the same thing.) Besides I found the milk was just pouring out of the bottle.
He nursed like a champ! Was there ever any doubt?!

Lochlan will be moved to another room on the peds floor. Out of the critical care area. He doesn't need to be monitored as much. In fact, they were taking his monitors off last night and all he has left now in just the nasal prongs with the little bit of oxygen.

He hasn't had any spells or desats in over 10 days which is the reason he's coming off of the monitors. How super exciting!

His new room looks more like a private regular hospital room. There is a chair that converts to a bed so we can sleep there and basically be with him 24/7. Not that we weren't able to be with him as much as we wanted in the NICU, it's just a totally different vibe. More like being home. And without someone hanging over your shoulder or the noises of the NICU or other babies and families around.

They also have free TV, and a phone, and a shower, etc. I think tonight, I am going to sleep there and nurse him overnight and just be with him. We are one step closer to bringing him home. He needs to gain weight with breastfeeding (or bottle) to be able to come home. That's the only thing left. He will more than likely be coming home on the low flow oxygen and I'm totally fine with that. We will get training.

I can't believe my baby will be home soon.

On a side note, we are having some difficulty with Abby adjusting to her new bedroom. She is not in her crib anymore, and therefore will not stay in her room and instead wants to sleep in mommy and daddy's room. I get it. A lot of changes happening but it's really rather exhausting. Thing is, the first night, she slept in her bed no problems, but woke up with her high fever. The next night, she ended up falling out of bed. And ever since then, she won't sleep in the bed. (Can you really blame her?) I've tried the bed rail, and nope! Still no go. Today, we are going to buy her a new mattress because right now, it's still her crib without the drop down rail. Hopefully building up her big girl bed will help! Please!!!!! Please let that be the case. Otherwise, we'll be sleep training Supernanny style!

I think that's all the updates I have for now. I'll post pics of Lochlan's room shortly. Should get the rest of it all set up today.

P.S. Happy Anniversary Rob! Our 3rd wedding anniversary was yesterday. We went the old staple date and went to dinner and a movie. Saw Inception which was fabulous! I only fell asleep briefly because I was super tired. (It was a 9:55pm start date so give me a break!!!) I didn't end up getting to sleep until about 2:30am and Abby was up at 5:30. Lucky us!

Weekend update

2010-08-01T13:56:00.005-04:00

We're in our new home! How exciting! I love it so much already!

Besides from being super stressed these last few days (well more added stress!) Lochlan continues to thrive. He is doing amazing so I'm told. He's been bottle feeding (with my breastmilk) and doing fantastic with it. The nurse even took out his ng tube (tube that runs from his nose to his stomach) and were just letting him bottle feed. He did get tired after doing it all day and the tube was put back in but then he's still been doing awesome with the bottles. Taking up to 50ml once! His feeds are only set at 38ml. Must have been a hungry boy! Since putting the tube back in his nose, I believe it's only been used once to feed. Actually his nurse did say that if he was sleeping, she would feed him using the tube when it was time for his feeds.

I spoke with Dr. Onyette a few times Saturday. If Lochlan ends up getting the chicken pox, he will be treated (obviously) but he won't have to get his immunization at one year old. If not, he'll get his shot.

He is being moved to the pediatric floor today at 3pm because of the air circulation in the nursery. Apparently the isolation room he's in the air still circulates throughout the entire nursery. The pediatric's isolation room, the air comes in, the air goes out. The only thing I don't get is why, after a week are they moving him? You'd think he would have been moved sooner if they were worried about passing on anything to the other babies. Or he could, that it would have happened already. I don't know. I just go with the flow. (Hey - I'm a poet and I don't even know it)

He's also down to .024 of oxygen per litre. Whatever that really means. I just know it's good and that he's on his way to being weaned!

I am being told that I can probably go back to see him and begin nursing again on Monday (tomorrow) or Tuesday. The rash doesn't have to be entirely gone - I was contagious to him for the first week. So that's a bit of a relief. I mean I'd rather have not been contagious at all to him. Thankfully, he's behaving normally. But there's still the waiting period for anything to show up. That's why he needs to stay in isolation for 28 days since the last time I saw him. Which they say will be August 28th. That's only if he's still needing care in the NICU. Or in this case, the Pediatric ICU. (PICU?) He can be discharged during that time which I'm really hoping will be the case. My due date is fast approaching (August 17th) so we're talking 2 weeks and 2 days. He could be home in a few weeks or another month. We shall see. He needs to accomplish: suck, swallow, feed (and gain), no spells for 48 hours straight, and be able to regulate him own temperature.

When he moves to peds, he will be his isolette for 2 days and then can be moved to an open crib. So chances are, I won't miss this great milestone! I can put his clothes on!!! How exciting!

The thing I am sort of bummed about is that because he is being moved, we won't have the same nurses taking care of him. I've really bonded with some of the nurses. Chances are, they won't get to see him discharged. : ( But I'm sure the nurses are all great too in the pediatrics wing. I am being reassured that Lochlan will have the same quality of care as in the NICU.

It will be a bit different. Instead of being surrounded by preemies, there'll be older kids needing ICU care.

On top of moving over the weekend, and the shingles, and everything else going on in our lives, Abby struck a fever our first night in our new home. She went to bed fine, and then at 12:45am she came to our room and had a temp of 102.5f. I've been treating the fever with Motrin and is comes down but still hasn't broke. She has no other symptoms other than this fever. Hopefully she'll be back to normal again soon. She's still being her happy go-lucky self which is good. Maybe a bit more clingy and today she needed an additional nap (so did mommy!)

Abby truly says the cutest things sometimes.

The other day I was upset and she said, "What's wrong mommy?" And I said, "mommy's sad." And she said, "Oh poor mommy! Here, hug Li." (Lion - her stuffed animal)It was so super cute.

And last night, we were doing something, and out of the blue she says "I'm proud of you" to me. (I tell her I'm so proud of her sometimes) It just goes to show you what you say to and around your children, they take in entirely.

Such a blessing to have in my life. She makes this process a lot easier. And she doesn't know how very much I needed to hear that.

sigh

2010-07-30T06:38:00.005-04:00

Well, yesterday didn't go quite as planned. I intended on finishing up packing and cleaning all day. We took Abby to Granny & Grampa's (THANK YOU AGAIN) and I had to hang around downtown to wait for the doctor to call me. She told me she'd call before 10am.

I finally spoke with Dr. Onyette around 9:45am and the plan was to wait for her to call me back as she was going to head over to my family doctor's after an appt. she had. And to wait for her call again.

So off I went to do a few errands and wait.

When it got to be 11 o'clock, I decided enough was enough and went home. She finally called and basically said that Lochlan was given the antibodies last night and was doing well (I already knew this as I call at least twice a day) and that the person who diagnosed me had a senior physician come in and she said that it was shingles as well. Now the swab that they took they didn't use because there wasn't anything to swab. (knew that) But she still wanted me to go in again for a reassessment at 3pm.

In the midst of this, I had to pick up my sister and bring her back to our house to help clean and pack, go out to my parents to drop off something, pick up something for my other sister and drop that off and...holy cow...where was my day going?!

I was able to pack up a few things before heading off to pick up sister #1 and begin the running around. (p.s. don't feel bad family - it had to be done and I'm not complaining, just explaining)

At the doctor's, a different doctor checked me out, got another doctor to come in and check me out, came back with the nurse practictioner who originally checked me out and pricked me with some thingy majiggy and took a swab of that. I still don't have any blisters or open sores. (yay for me!)

Then she called someone else and they discussed getting me a blood requisition to get tested to make sure I am immune to chicken pox. I guess I don't sound all that convincing when I say I had them as a kid.

So that's where it sits. I have to go today to get blood sucked out of me (sorry, thought I'd be a little over dramatic there) and wait for any results to come back. Which they are rushing because apparently this could cost the NICU thousands of dollars because they would have to put the babies on antibiotics or the same thing that Lochlan's getting. MAN! I can't believe it. Honestly, I didn't think anything of it when I went to breastfeed Lochlan on Monday and Tuesday. It didn't turn into anything that I was concerned about until Wed when I called to make my doctor's appointment. Other than a few red blotches and some itchiness...I thought my bra was rubbing it or something. So I really pray this really isn't shingles and that I don't have to put all those babies and families through it too.

I will have to stay away from the hospital for at least one week. Lochlan will be in isolation for 28 days, with everyone in his room wearing gowns, gloves, and face masks. If he is ready to be discharged, they will release him during those 28 days but while he is a resident of the NICU hotel, he needs to be in isolation for the full 28 days.

On a positive note, Lochlan is doing fabulous. He took I think one spell yesterday (where he forgot to breathe momentarily) and his weight is now up to 1940 grams. I think anyway...I know he gained weight on his lasix day...okay, I really can't remember I was so tired when I called last night. I do know he's over the 1900 mark which means he should be able to go in an open crib. Unfortuately, I won't be physically there for the milestone.

On another positive note, we get the keys to our new house today! Woo-hoo! I'm so excited. It's a strange feeling sitting here typing this, looking around and thinking about all the memories in this house and that in just a few short hours we will no longer be living here. A little sad but super exciting to think we'll create new memories in our new house.

Anyway, I'd better get to cleaning. We should have internet hooked up at our new place today but you never know. So I'll try to blog as soon as I can about the test results.

Pray for a positive outcome! And thank you to those of you who have made comments. I read them all and really appreciate the support. (and appreciate those of you who read my blog as well.)

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!

Seriously? Seriously!

2010-07-27T19:55:00.004-04:00

Wow! What a couple of days it has been!

Lochlan had some good solid nursing sessions. Tuesday I went in twice to feed him and I enjoyed feeling like I was finally able to do something for him. He was being a champion as per usual. So proud of him.

He did have a bit of a greenish looking loose stool a few times, but that has since gone away. If you're reading this over breakfast, I apologize. I like to be very thorough in my descriptions! lol

They cancelled his MRI due to the fact that too much time had passed since he had his seizures and because he's been doing so well. He hasn't had any more so they are convinced it was a side effect from the drugs he got during surgery.

He hasn't had his eyes rechecked yet but should be today or tomorrow I would think.

Monday night when I called, the nurse asked if she could bottle him (give him a bottle of my breastmilk) because he was a madman. I said sure as long as it wouldn't interfere with breastfeeding. They do both with a lot of babies so I gave the go ahead. Also, his nurse said that tomorrow night (this meant Tuesday night) that she would put him in an open crib. And to bring in some clothes! How exciting!

My excitement was short lived however. The next night, he had a different nurse who didn't think he was quite ready to be in an open crib. His weight has been fluctuating since his surgery and actually he lost probably over 100 grams. So they want to see him holding steady in his weight and be closer to, if not over 1900 grams. He was only 1805 Tuesday.

*sigh*

Okay, here is where some good times come in for Jenner. Not so much, really. I started noticing a bit of rash on the side of my right breast on Monday. And it was a little itchy. I didn't think much of it. Changed bras and went on my merry way.

But it started to bug me a little more and got bigger so I made a doctor's appointment and went Wednesday. I had been planning to go in to nurse Lochlan for the 2:30 feed. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to.

Apparently, I have shingles. This is from the same virus that causes chicken pox. Basically if you've ever had chicken pox, the virus sits dormant in your system and can flare up at any time, especially when you're under a lot of emotional stress, or if your immune system is weakened.

Lucky me.

My prescription was very cheap - ha ha - over one hundred dollars.

Lucky me.

And Lochlan had to be moved to an isolation room and be started on the vaccine for chicken pox but it's not the regular vaccine babies get when they are one. It's just the antibodies.

I am not allowed to visit him until after the rash is cleared up which could be one week to a month.

Lucky me.

And I have to pump and dump because they are extra cautious and are concerned about transporting the milk. It wouldn't be in the breastmilk itself, but rather on the containers perhaps.

Again, lucky me.

As I was sitting in the patient room at the doctor's office, I thought: "Seriously? Seriously! Are you kidding me?"

It's like "oh, you've handled that really well, try this!"
I told Rob that if we don't win the lottery now, we never will!

So had an interesting afternoon to say the least. I am very upset that I can't see my baby. I allowed myself 5 minutes to wallow in self pity and then have since tried to shrug it off. That's the reality and I can't do anything about it.

I spoke with the infectious disease specialist who called last night. She chatted for almost 20 mins! Asking questions and commenting. She thinks it would be valid to get a second opinion because she says it doesn't sound like shingles. I feel fine, am in no pain (which apparently, it's very painful) I have no other symptoms other than this itchy rash. And they aren't blistering or oozing or whatever it is that happens. (again, sorry about the details)

So I am waiting for her to call me this morning (Thurs) because she was trying to track down the sample swab they took. She was going to rush the results and if it wasn't the right test, then I will go in this morning to be retested and get looked at.

Meanwhile, this morning I feel like it's not as red and raised...to be honest I've been putting some zinc oxide on it (same stuff I used for Abby's diaper rash) and it seems to be working! Who needs $110 dollar prescription!!! Argh!

So we'll see. We're also waiting to see if Rob is allowed to go in to see Lochlan.
What a crazy time! I think it's almost laughable at this stage. I mean, really!

In terms of if I actually do have shingles, I can't give it to anyone unless they are in direct contact with the site and hmmm...yeah that's not going to happen!

Well, Abby is wondering where "mommy go" so I'd better get back upstairs. We are finishing up moving today and cleaning so she will be going to granny and grandpa's today (THANK YOU!!) so I need to spend some time with her before we take her.And thanks for waking up at 5:50am today Abby. Love it!

Tomorrow, we officially get our keys to our new house. (We have been allowed to put stuff in the garage these last few weeks) So excited. Finally, a little less stress.

P.S. When I called last night, Lochlan's weight was up but I can't remember to what. 1865 perhaps. That sounds about right. So back to 4 lbs, 2 oz. And he bottle fed and took 50mls! (His target is 36) Go Lochlan!

He will be fine, I know that. But if I truly do have shingles, I'm not sure how these next few weeks will go. It's so hard knowing that we're so close and coming to the end of the NICU journey. It sucks royally and I pray I heal fast and can get back to nursing and hanging out with our baby boy.

Results and snuggle with Daddy and a visit with Abby

2010-07-25T18:36:00.004-04:00

Okay...I've been catching up on sleep and life.

Lochlan has been doing fabulous since his surgery. The results came back that his head ultrasound was normal...and so I asked the resident if that meant that the brain bleed was gone and he said they didn't comment on any bleeds so he is led to believe that it means it was reaborbed. I pray this was the case...but like him, I am sure that they would have made some comment if there was still something there.

EEG (not ECG!) results showed nothing abnormal. This measures activity in the brain I believe and the resident did say that Lochlan was still under some of the meds they gave him to calm his brain from the seizures so the test could have been inaccurate. The specialist was away that week so she will take a look at it when she returns to double check and it may be repeated if she feels it is necessary.

Blood work - fine.

The very positive thing here is that Lochlan has not had any more of these seizures so more than likely it was a side effect from the drugs they gave him during the operation. They said that it can happen - rarely does of course, but Loch wouldn't be the first baby or person to have it happen to.

To cover all the bases though and to make sure that everything is ruled out they will be doing an MRI this week. This will tell them whether or not he suffered any brain damage when they had to do the chest compressions and manual breaths. Even though his heartrate only dropped to 60, they want to check and check again.

Please pray that it comes back normal as well.

With all this hoopla happening this week, I don't think I mentioned that Rob got to hold him for the first time on Wednesday.

And today, Abby went in to see him. She was so adorable. So excited. While we were there she kept saying, "hi Lochlan. Hi!" And blowing him kisses. She told him about her day and she started singing "Twinkle twinkle, little star". Adorable. And then we sang "You are my sunshine" together to him. He opened his eyes to peek a few times. He knew she was there!

She was really good visiting him today, and listened well when we had to leave. She said I love you, and see you later. In the car, she goes "I like him!" How cute is that!!!!

Can't wait for him to come home.

I've also started nursing him again. Yesterday (Saturday) was the first time and he did awesome! Nursed for a good 25 minutes. And we had a great snuggle. I'm off to nurse him again tonight for the 8:30 feed.

Well I need to get Abby in for her bath and to bed. Til next time,
Jenn

Post surgery

2010-07-22T21:12:00.004-04:00

It is now after 9pm on Thursday...almost a full day since Lochlan went for his eye surgery. I realize that I said I'd blog this morning, but the day just got away from me.

Here is how the rest of last night/super early this morning went:

It was just after midnight when I called up to the NICU to see if Lochlan was back there or if they'd heard anything. I was beginning to think that they'd forgotten about me waiting in the dark in the OR waiting room!

They told me that they had called a half an hour ago but still hadn't shown up. So I asked them to remind the team that I was still down there if they showed up without me in tow!

I was starting to get concerned. I was told the surgery would be about an hour and here it was going on two plus.

Finally, probably about a half an hour later, Doctor Gayle (I remembered his name!) came in to chat with me. He said the surgery itself went well but that they were waiting for the RT (respiratory therapist) to come down for some special tape for his tube. He said they had to keep him intubated and I'm sure he told me some other stuff but I was beyond tired and I have since talked to a few more doctors and nurses since then and can't remember who told me what. He did inform me that he will be following up in a week to recheck Lochlan's eyes. He then said that they were going to be heading up to the NICU and that someone would meet me in the sunroom. (it's basically a waiting room on the floor where the NICU and maternity wing is.)

I got up there and waited...and waited some more...and closed my eyes to catch some zzz's and then "bang bang, clang clang." Something was happening on the floor above me. I have no idea what, but I remember thinking, "seriously? construction type work at this hour?" and then I sort of laughed a little. I mean, really!

So I waited some more....and then the anesthesiologist came and told me that Lochlan was doing well but that at the end of the surgery, the tube slipped and there was saliva and what not and they ended up having to bag him (put a face mask on and give manual breaths by squeezing on this airbag thing that gives him oxygen) And also that his throat constricted and they had some difficulty bagging him and that is why they couldn't extubate him right away as hoped.

I had to wait again...and then finally the phone rang for me to go see him.
It's so emotional seeing him with the tube back in after making such great progress. I know it's for the best at this time, but it takes you back.

He was sleeping and sedated as well. But he looked like he was starting to wake up and was not liking the tube down his throat. No doubt! He also started doing this shake thing. I've seen him do some quick jerks every now and then -- something to do with nerves but never like this. It almost looked like he was cold. And that's exactly what the resident said. But I didn't think much of it. I held his hand, talked to him, gave him his soother and we swaddled him. That appeared to have helped.

The resident did discuss the procedure a bit more with me before I left for home. He said that he wasn't in the operating room but was informed of what happened. The only thing else that he told me was that at the end of the surgery, Lochlan's tube slipped, (same info as before) but that his heart rate dropped to the 60s (he's usually between 138-150) and so they bagged him, and gave him chest compressions, then bagged him again. He said that his heart never stopped but they did it as a precaution (the compressions) because they didn't want to risk oxygen being cut off to his brain. He also said that he would want to know if he was the parent. I don't remember Dr. Gayle or the anesthesiologist telling me this although I do think she (not the doctor) did quickly make reference without going into detail...I think she must have said, we had to bag him, compress, then bag him again. But I wasn't focussing or asking too many questions being almost asleep at 1 in the morning!!

I left the hospital about 2:15am.

My head hit the pillow at 2:38 with the intention to get up to pump a few hours later. Unfortunately, I slept through the alarm...I wonder why! Abby woke me up just before 7 and I got up with her since I needed to pump. Once I was up, I was super tired, but wanted to cuddle with her and just be with her. (I am so thankful to have her because she helps me forget what's going on sometimes and brings such laughter and joy to my life. The other day she put her head on my shoulder and said "best friends." How cute is that?!)

I called the hospital about 8am and asked to speak to Lois (yay for having one of my fav nurses!) But instead of Lois coming on the line, I apoke with one of his doctors, Dr. Graham. She said that Lochlan was doing well and that he was still intubated but they were hoping to extubate soon. She also said that he was still having some shakes or tremors and that they were trying to figure out why. It appeared to be a seizure and could be from the drugs he got during surgery. So as a precaution, they gave him Fennebal (spelling?) and that seemed to calm him and stop the shaking. They were running some tests and were waiting on the results. They also decided to hold off on feeding him until they were convinced he was doing better. He wasn't going hungry though as he was getting his fluids from an IV.

Anyway, I finally thought I'd better get a nap in and Rob hung out with Abby while I slept for a few hours.

I got up, played with Abby some more, gave her her lunch, and put her down for a nap, Then I went to pick up Barry, my brother-in-law to take him to see Terri & Mason. I snuck a quick peek at Mason (and Terri) before heading to the NICU.

Lochlan still had the tube in and was sleeping. Lois told me he was doing great and that his settings were very low on the vent. They still didn't have the results from his tests - he had a brain scan and an ECG.?? Too many acronyms to remember...whatever checks your heart. And some blood work as well. His blood gases have been good.

Anyway, I stayed for about 3 hours today and wanted to head home to spend time with Abby even though I left when she was napping. (She basically slept the entire time I was gone so that worked out well) It's hard sometimes, wanting to be in two places at once.

Lois called just after 6 and left a message (Abby and I were at the playground and Rob had gone to the store) She said that Lochlan was doing great and that they extubated him (removed the breathing tube from his throat) and he was back on low flow! : )

I had asked what they would do earlier in the day and they told me that it would depend on him and his needs. Thankfully, he was able to go back to low flow rather than start at CPAP, or BiPAP, or high flow! Great job Lochlan!

They were also planning on starting his feeds tonight. I'm about to call and get the update.

His weight last night prior to surgery was 1810gms (down 25 on a lasix day) and I just got off the phone and his weight is up 60grams to 1870grams which is 4 pounds, 2 ounces. She did say to take that as it is because he has been on extra fluids the last 24 hours. He is on .03 litre of oxygen. That part I can't wrap my head around to explain or comprehend. It's different that saying "oh he's on 30% oxygen." I can't remember if before surgery he was at .1 or .01...but I thought it was .1 so to me that says that he's doing the same if not better on the low flow now! And there isn't much lower to go. I don't think they do .009 or lower...but I could be wrong. I'll ask tomorrow.

He has had a few apnea spells tonight (where he stops breathing for a moment - forgets to breathe) She also said that he looks like he's been in a bar fight - his eyes are swollen from the surgery. He has some medicinal ointment that he will get for 5 days. But overall, he's doing great and is having a good night. She did say too after I asked about feeding that she hasn't mentioned the feeds to the doctors and they haven't mentioned anything to her but they are quite busy tonight. So hopefully by tomorrow morning he'll be getting some breastmilk back in his system.

Okay, I've blogged long enough. Need to go to sleep.
Thank you for your prayers and positive thoughts. Lochlan, Rob, Abby and I all appreciate it.