What a day! I am completely and utterly exhausted but oh so content to be sitting here - in Lochlan's room at the hospital, typing this. Let me back up.
I had a wonderful morning with Abby - playing at the playground, swimming, and more. We actually got a call from the hospital saying that they needed more milk for the 2pm feed. I had been planning on coming in anyway, so off I went after putting Abby down for her nap (and showering!)
When I got here, Lochlan was indeed in his new room. Still in peds, still a private room, but it feels more like a regular patient room. We have our own bathroom and shower and a great view still of Lake Ontario. We also have a phone to call and receive and a TV!!! (with free cable!)
Technically he's still in isolation, but Rob and I don't have to wear gowns or gloves or face masks. We've been exposed already and I've been treated so there's no need to be cautious about us. THANK GOODNESS! Now we can hold our baby without the getup! And feel semi normal about it.
The thing I noticed immediately was that Lochlan was all alone. He started getting a bit fussy as I knew it was near feeding time so I went to see if I could track down his nurse. Which she was on her way anyway. But even though I knew that Loch and I were being left alone more so than usual, I still felt like he was alone way too much. Rob and I talked about it, and one of us, or a family member will be present almost at all times.
I asked the nurse if there was something to tell them if he was having a problem and she said no. This did not sit well with me and that is the reason Rob and I will be here. Also because when he is crying or needing a snuggle, we can be here to soothe him or provide him what he needs. I guess the nurse does come in to check on him every 15 mins but that is too long for me!
I get that his monitors were removed for a good reason- and that he had to pass certain criteria in order for that to happen and that they would absolutely not stop monitoring if they didn't 100% believe he'd be okay. But still - what if his nose prongs came out? Couldn't handle that.
It's tough though. Wanting so bad to be home with Abby to keep everything as normal as possible for her. She's been so great throughout everything - me being in the hospital for over a week a few times, having a baby brother and not quite understanding the situation, moving, new bed...all these changes and she's been amazing. We have been struggling with bedtime lately but I get it. And it will probably happen for a while after Lochlan comes home.
But you know what - it's fine by me if we have all four of us sleeping in the same room for a bit. For a bit!!!!
So getting back to the afternoon - I nursed Lochlan and he was a pro again! I also got to change his diaper and while doing so, he was like "oh yeah mommy, watch this!" And he peed all over his sleeper and bedding. Whoopsie! Forgot to prepare for that. Then after I snapped up his last snap, the little monkey took a big poop! So we had to change him again. Thankfully I did a good job putting the diaper on in the first place, so his sleeper was still good. He gave me a wee little smile after that one!
Some much needed relief I bet!
Later, after he'd been sleeping for a bit, he started getting fussy. I was able to pick him up (we were alone together) and soothe him. Ended up needed another diaper change as he'd had a big pee! Yay me for being able to figure out what he needed.
It's so nice to be able to pick him up when I want and do normal mom/baby things. I can't go very far since he's hooked up to the oxygen but other than that, we're good to move around a bit.
Rob came by with Abby around 5pm. I was actually getting ready to nurse again. Abby was so excited to see her baby brother. She's so adorable with him and wants to touch him and put his soother in his mouth and just be helpful. I think it helped click for as well the reason why I pump. She didn't seem put out by it at all. I just hope that because I said Lochlan was having his supper that she doesn't one day ask me for that meal! ha ha
Oh, before I forget Lochlan's weight is up to 2025grams. Around 4 1/2 pounds if I'm not mistaken. I don't feel like looking it up right now.
I took Abby home and did the bedtime routine, until Rob came home and stepped in to try to actually get her to stay in bed. Good thing we are both pretty patient!
Thank you so much to Rosemary and Auntie Janet for helping to organize our house and also for supper tonight. It's greatly appreciated.
I got a ride with Rosemary back down to the hospital (THANK YOU again!) so I won't have my car here overnight. It can get pretty pricey even though overnight I'd be able to park on the street.
So here I sit, typing this, watching my son sleep. I feel content to be here, yet guilt over not being at home. I know Abby is sleeping, but still, not to be there if she wakes up in the middle of the night, or to be there first thing in the morning, is very difficult. But I feel the same about Lochlan. I just can't be in two places at once. I wish I could. I really wish I could have my family together under one roof. Soon enough.
I will note that Loch has another male nurse tonight. I'm wondering how many dudes are going to get to seem my bobbies before this is all over. Yesterday, I was like, oh whatever- I'm feeding my son. Today, it's a younger guy and that's a bit awkward. But I'm sure once it comes time for me to nurse Lochlan, I really won't care. And for the most part, we'll be left alone anyway. Oh the things we do!
We took some really cute pics tonight as a family, but of course, I can't seem to find the camera right now. I may have left it at home. So I'll try to post those tomorrow.
I think I'll try to get some rest before Lochlan wakes up to nurse at 11pm. He took a full bottle (his full 38ml) at the 8:15pm feed. They asked me what I'd like to do overnight. Well I'm certainly not going to give him a bottle and then go pump! I might as well nurse him as much as I can. That's the main thing he needs to do before he can go home. So why wouldn't I?!
Keep us in your prayers,
Jenn
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Reunited! (and it feels so good)
FINALLY! I got to snuggle with Lochlan! After one week of not being allowed to visit him, I was able to go yesterday. (Tuesday) His new digs are pretty darn nice. I know I was a bit sad that he was leaving the routine of what I knew with the NICU but man, that new pediatrics floor is awesome.
He's in an open crib!!!! YAHOOO!!! And wearing his super sweet clothes. That actually are too small for him! No more preemie clothes!
He looked so teeny tiny in that big ol crib.
He had a pretty good view too of the lake. And I was able to nurse him again. At first, I tried the bottle, but kept dropping little hints at how he'd soon be able to nurse again and his nurse said, that I was given the all clear. Didn't take me long to get ready to do that! (Loch wasn't too keen on the bottle but I don't blame him - I mean really, why give him the bottle if mommy has the super soothing good stuff! Even though my milk was in the bottle - just not the same thing.) Besides I found the milk was just pouring out of the bottle.
He nursed like a champ! Was there ever any doubt?!
Lochlan will be moved to another room on the peds floor. Out of the critical care area. He doesn't need to be monitored as much. In fact, they were taking his monitors off last night and all he has left now in just the nasal prongs with the little bit of oxygen.
He hasn't had any spells or desats in over 10 days which is the reason he's coming off of the monitors. How super exciting!
His new room looks more like a private regular hospital room. There is a chair that converts to a bed so we can sleep there and basically be with him 24/7. Not that we weren't able to be with him as much as we wanted in the NICU, it's just a totally different vibe. More like being home. And without someone hanging over your shoulder or the noises of the NICU or other babies and families around.
They also have free TV, and a phone, and a shower, etc. I think tonight, I am going to sleep there and nurse him overnight and just be with him. We are one step closer to bringing him home. He needs to gain weight with breastfeeding (or bottle) to be able to come home. That's the only thing left. He will more than likely be coming home on the low flow oxygen and I'm totally fine with that. We will get training.
I can't believe my baby will be home soon.
On a side note, we are having some difficulty with Abby adjusting to her new bedroom. She is not in her crib anymore, and therefore will not stay in her room and instead wants to sleep in mommy and daddy's room. I get it. A lot of changes happening but it's really rather exhausting. Thing is, the first night, she slept in her bed no problems, but woke up with her high fever. The next night, she ended up falling out of bed. And ever since then, she won't sleep in the bed. (Can you really blame her?) I've tried the bed rail, and nope! Still no go. Today, we are going to buy her a new mattress because right now, it's still her crib without the drop down rail. Hopefully building up her big girl bed will help! Please!!!!! Please let that be the case. Otherwise, we'll be sleep training Supernanny style!
I think that's all the updates I have for now. I'll post pics of Lochlan's room shortly. Should get the rest of it all set up today.
P.S. Happy Anniversary Rob! Our 3rd wedding anniversary was yesterday. We went the old staple date and went to dinner and a movie. Saw Inception which was fabulous! I only fell asleep briefly because I was super tired. (It was a 9:55pm start date so give me a break!!!) I didn't end up getting to sleep until about 2:30am and Abby was up at 5:30. Lucky us!
He's in an open crib!!!! YAHOOO!!! And wearing his super sweet clothes. That actually are too small for him! No more preemie clothes!
He looked so teeny tiny in that big ol crib.
He had a pretty good view too of the lake. And I was able to nurse him again. At first, I tried the bottle, but kept dropping little hints at how he'd soon be able to nurse again and his nurse said, that I was given the all clear. Didn't take me long to get ready to do that! (Loch wasn't too keen on the bottle but I don't blame him - I mean really, why give him the bottle if mommy has the super soothing good stuff! Even though my milk was in the bottle - just not the same thing.) Besides I found the milk was just pouring out of the bottle.
He nursed like a champ! Was there ever any doubt?!
Lochlan will be moved to another room on the peds floor. Out of the critical care area. He doesn't need to be monitored as much. In fact, they were taking his monitors off last night and all he has left now in just the nasal prongs with the little bit of oxygen.
He hasn't had any spells or desats in over 10 days which is the reason he's coming off of the monitors. How super exciting!
His new room looks more like a private regular hospital room. There is a chair that converts to a bed so we can sleep there and basically be with him 24/7. Not that we weren't able to be with him as much as we wanted in the NICU, it's just a totally different vibe. More like being home. And without someone hanging over your shoulder or the noises of the NICU or other babies and families around.
They also have free TV, and a phone, and a shower, etc. I think tonight, I am going to sleep there and nurse him overnight and just be with him. We are one step closer to bringing him home. He needs to gain weight with breastfeeding (or bottle) to be able to come home. That's the only thing left. He will more than likely be coming home on the low flow oxygen and I'm totally fine with that. We will get training.
I can't believe my baby will be home soon.
On a side note, we are having some difficulty with Abby adjusting to her new bedroom. She is not in her crib anymore, and therefore will not stay in her room and instead wants to sleep in mommy and daddy's room. I get it. A lot of changes happening but it's really rather exhausting. Thing is, the first night, she slept in her bed no problems, but woke up with her high fever. The next night, she ended up falling out of bed. And ever since then, she won't sleep in the bed. (Can you really blame her?) I've tried the bed rail, and nope! Still no go. Today, we are going to buy her a new mattress because right now, it's still her crib without the drop down rail. Hopefully building up her big girl bed will help! Please!!!!! Please let that be the case. Otherwise, we'll be sleep training Supernanny style!
I think that's all the updates I have for now. I'll post pics of Lochlan's room shortly. Should get the rest of it all set up today.
P.S. Happy Anniversary Rob! Our 3rd wedding anniversary was yesterday. We went the old staple date and went to dinner and a movie. Saw Inception which was fabulous! I only fell asleep briefly because I was super tired. (It was a 9:55pm start date so give me a break!!!) I didn't end up getting to sleep until about 2:30am and Abby was up at 5:30. Lucky us!
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Weekend update
We're in our new home! How exciting! I love it so much already!
Besides from being super stressed these last few days (well more added stress!) Lochlan continues to thrive. He is doing amazing so I'm told. He's been bottle feeding (with my breastmilk) and doing fantastic with it. The nurse even took out his ng tube (tube that runs from his nose to his stomach) and were just letting him bottle feed. He did get tired after doing it all day and the tube was put back in but then he's still been doing awesome with the bottles. Taking up to 50ml once! His feeds are only set at 38ml. Must have been a hungry boy! Since putting the tube back in his nose, I believe it's only been used once to feed. Actually his nurse did say that if he was sleeping, she would feed him using the tube when it was time for his feeds.
I spoke with Dr. Onyette a few times Saturday. If Lochlan ends up getting the chicken pox, he will be treated (obviously) but he won't have to get his immunization at one year old. If not, he'll get his shot.
He is being moved to the pediatric floor today at 3pm because of the air circulation in the nursery. Apparently the isolation room he's in the air still circulates throughout the entire nursery. The pediatric's isolation room, the air comes in, the air goes out. The only thing I don't get is why, after a week are they moving him? You'd think he would have been moved sooner if they were worried about passing on anything to the other babies. Or he could, that it would have happened already. I don't know. I just go with the flow. (Hey - I'm a poet and I don't even know it)
He's also down to .024 of oxygen per litre. Whatever that really means. I just know it's good and that he's on his way to being weaned!
I am being told that I can probably go back to see him and begin nursing again on Monday (tomorrow) or Tuesday. The rash doesn't have to be entirely gone - I was contagious to him for the first week. So that's a bit of a relief. I mean I'd rather have not been contagious at all to him. Thankfully, he's behaving normally. But there's still the waiting period for anything to show up. That's why he needs to stay in isolation for 28 days since the last time I saw him. Which they say will be August 28th. That's only if he's still needing care in the NICU. Or in this case, the Pediatric ICU. (PICU?) He can be discharged during that time which I'm really hoping will be the case. My due date is fast approaching (August 17th) so we're talking 2 weeks and 2 days. He could be home in a few weeks or another month. We shall see. He needs to accomplish: suck, swallow, feed (and gain), no spells for 48 hours straight, and be able to regulate him own temperature.
When he moves to peds, he will be his isolette for 2 days and then can be moved to an open crib. So chances are, I won't miss this great milestone! I can put his clothes on!!! How exciting!
The thing I am sort of bummed about is that because he is being moved, we won't have the same nurses taking care of him. I've really bonded with some of the nurses. Chances are, they won't get to see him discharged. : ( But I'm sure the nurses are all great too in the pediatrics wing. I am being reassured that Lochlan will have the same quality of care as in the NICU.
It will be a bit different. Instead of being surrounded by preemies, there'll be older kids needing ICU care.
On top of moving over the weekend, and the shingles, and everything else going on in our lives, Abby struck a fever our first night in our new home. She went to bed fine, and then at 12:45am she came to our room and had a temp of 102.5f. I've been treating the fever with Motrin and is comes down but still hasn't broke. She has no other symptoms other than this fever. Hopefully she'll be back to normal again soon. She's still being her happy go-lucky self which is good. Maybe a bit more clingy and today she needed an additional nap (so did mommy!)
Abby truly says the cutest things sometimes.
The other day I was upset and she said, "What's wrong mommy?" And I said, "mommy's sad." And she said, "Oh poor mommy! Here, hug Li." (Lion - her stuffed animal)It was so super cute.
And last night, we were doing something, and out of the blue she says "I'm proud of you" to me. (I tell her I'm so proud of her sometimes) It just goes to show you what you say to and around your children, they take in entirely.
Such a blessing to have in my life. She makes this process a lot easier. And she doesn't know how very much I needed to hear that.
Besides from being super stressed these last few days (well more added stress!) Lochlan continues to thrive. He is doing amazing so I'm told. He's been bottle feeding (with my breastmilk) and doing fantastic with it. The nurse even took out his ng tube (tube that runs from his nose to his stomach) and were just letting him bottle feed. He did get tired after doing it all day and the tube was put back in but then he's still been doing awesome with the bottles. Taking up to 50ml once! His feeds are only set at 38ml. Must have been a hungry boy! Since putting the tube back in his nose, I believe it's only been used once to feed. Actually his nurse did say that if he was sleeping, she would feed him using the tube when it was time for his feeds.
I spoke with Dr. Onyette a few times Saturday. If Lochlan ends up getting the chicken pox, he will be treated (obviously) but he won't have to get his immunization at one year old. If not, he'll get his shot.
He is being moved to the pediatric floor today at 3pm because of the air circulation in the nursery. Apparently the isolation room he's in the air still circulates throughout the entire nursery. The pediatric's isolation room, the air comes in, the air goes out. The only thing I don't get is why, after a week are they moving him? You'd think he would have been moved sooner if they were worried about passing on anything to the other babies. Or he could, that it would have happened already. I don't know. I just go with the flow. (Hey - I'm a poet and I don't even know it)
He's also down to .024 of oxygen per litre. Whatever that really means. I just know it's good and that he's on his way to being weaned!
I am being told that I can probably go back to see him and begin nursing again on Monday (tomorrow) or Tuesday. The rash doesn't have to be entirely gone - I was contagious to him for the first week. So that's a bit of a relief. I mean I'd rather have not been contagious at all to him. Thankfully, he's behaving normally. But there's still the waiting period for anything to show up. That's why he needs to stay in isolation for 28 days since the last time I saw him. Which they say will be August 28th. That's only if he's still needing care in the NICU. Or in this case, the Pediatric ICU. (PICU?) He can be discharged during that time which I'm really hoping will be the case. My due date is fast approaching (August 17th) so we're talking 2 weeks and 2 days. He could be home in a few weeks or another month. We shall see. He needs to accomplish: suck, swallow, feed (and gain), no spells for 48 hours straight, and be able to regulate him own temperature.
When he moves to peds, he will be his isolette for 2 days and then can be moved to an open crib. So chances are, I won't miss this great milestone! I can put his clothes on!!! How exciting!
The thing I am sort of bummed about is that because he is being moved, we won't have the same nurses taking care of him. I've really bonded with some of the nurses. Chances are, they won't get to see him discharged. : ( But I'm sure the nurses are all great too in the pediatrics wing. I am being reassured that Lochlan will have the same quality of care as in the NICU.
It will be a bit different. Instead of being surrounded by preemies, there'll be older kids needing ICU care.
On top of moving over the weekend, and the shingles, and everything else going on in our lives, Abby struck a fever our first night in our new home. She went to bed fine, and then at 12:45am she came to our room and had a temp of 102.5f. I've been treating the fever with Motrin and is comes down but still hasn't broke. She has no other symptoms other than this fever. Hopefully she'll be back to normal again soon. She's still being her happy go-lucky self which is good. Maybe a bit more clingy and today she needed an additional nap (so did mommy!)
Abby truly says the cutest things sometimes.
The other day I was upset and she said, "What's wrong mommy?" And I said, "mommy's sad." And she said, "Oh poor mommy! Here, hug Li." (Lion - her stuffed animal)It was so super cute.
And last night, we were doing something, and out of the blue she says "I'm proud of you" to me. (I tell her I'm so proud of her sometimes) It just goes to show you what you say to and around your children, they take in entirely.
Such a blessing to have in my life. She makes this process a lot easier. And she doesn't know how very much I needed to hear that.
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