When I pProm'd I wanted time to speed up....to get me further into my pregnancy so that our baby would have a better chance at survival. Yet, it felt like it was taking forever.
When Lochlan was finally born, time stood still. Every day was full of worry - worry about oxygen levels, worry about brain bleeds, worry about infections, worry about ounces and calories and whether he had pooped or peed. Worry if he would survive, worry about his future and what that would look like. It seemed that time was slowly ticking and that we'd never get home.
Lochlan spent 3 months, 11 days in the hospital.
He is now almost 5. What? Time it seems now, is on fast forward. He is well into his first year of kindergarten. The first few weeks were quite an adjustment. He was exhausted. But most kids are when they first start school. He was super excited that first day, but the second day, did not want to go back. (and the third, and the fourth....) It wasn't like his pre-school program he did in the summer. And there was an overwhelming number of kids in his class. He eventually started to like school...he made some friends. But he still asks to stay home some days. He asks, but isn't granted that request!
Rob and I met with his teacher recently, she said he is at the top of the class academically. (and that includes the seniors) Super proud of him. I found myself beaming as she talked about his accomplishments. Who knew this 1 lb, 12 oz very sick boy, would defy a lot of the odds.
Her only concern is that when he is a senior, he won't be challenged enough. That's ok. We will challenge him. We will continue to work with him on his reading and his math skills and everything else. While that's what school is for, it's also what parenting is about. To help your child strive to do their best and to reach and exceed their potential.
We decided to not tell Lochlan's teachers that he was born 15 weeks early and how extremely sick he was. We didn't feel (and still don't) that it has any reason of why he could or wouldn't be able to do things at school. It does not define him. If there are struggles, we will deal with and make a plan if they come up. But to come out and say, oh, he was born at 25 weeks seems/seemed pointless other than for extra praise or sympathy. We realize how fortunate we are/ he is. Sometimes I feel a sense of survivors guilt. Why did we get lucky where there are no lasting issues at this point in time?
I don't know. We just did.
I created this blog as a way to document Lochlan's journey, but also my own. To get my thoughts and feelings out about the scariness of it all - the unknown. To help me cope. But I also created it to offer hope to others who are going through a similar situation. No one can predict the future or how prematurity will affect their child. What we can do is offer hope to one another, offer encouragement, offer support, and offer our prayers. Even if it's just a "you got this!"
Cause you do.
|Lochlan & Abby with the 'Balloon Friends' they made|