Friday, October 29, 2010

Finally: breathing on his own

I had a bit of a hard time deciding what I wanted to call this blog. What do you call something so monumental?

I realize it has been over 2 weeks since my last entry. After I wrote the last one ("waiting") I heard from Medigas that we had to wait another 2 weeks for Lochlan to be checked again on room air. Because he was sat'ing high 80s/low 90s, Dr. Flavin felt that he didn't have much wiggle room. I understood. But I was still very pleased with his results. Plus, Lochlan had a bit of a cold at the time so it was good to know he was doing so well.

He surprisingly didn't have any appointments last week. And the 2 weeks passed by pretty quick. Lochlan did have his cold for about a week but thankfully it didn't get too bad. We just had to change his nose prongs more regularly and I gave him some homeopathic medicine to help relieve some discomfort.

Yesterday, (Thursday Oct 28th) Lochlan had an off day. The morning started out great. He was his regular cheery self - smiling and interacting and having a great ole time. Closer to lunch, he started to get fussy. Moaning and whimpering and I discovered he had a low grade fever as well. 99.8 degrees F. It was the moaning and whimpering that got me. Lochlan is a very happy baby. It was definitely not like him to be out of sorts. I debated (with Auntie Noni - thank you Auntie) on taking him in to get checked out. But in the end, we decided to hold off and see how he was with Tylenol in him. (It worked like a charm!) He was back to his regular self today. A bit more sleepy I'd say than usual but overall his happy self. The only issue is that he hasn't pooped in almost 3 days now. VERY unlike him. So unless he poops overnight, I think I will have to take him in to be checked out. Thanks to my mom and dad as well for taking Abby for a sleepover last night and to Granny for taking her to play with Mattea this morning at Aunt Janet's. She had a great time. Happy birthday Bud!! (and Grandpa Bob tomorrow!)

Now to the monumental news: Medigas came this morning. (hence the reason I was concerned Lochlan was getting "sick" yesterday) Loch sat'ed 99-100% at 1/16th oxygen. For his room air test he sat'ed 95-98%!!!!! GO LOCHLAN!! He even got up to 99 and 100% a few times! So happy!

Toughest part was waiting for the official word that the oxygen could be removed. Dr. Flavin had to give the go-ahead. Notice I said, "had." Around 2pm, Medigas called and said that she had paged Dr. Flavin and he said that we could go ahead and remove the oxygen!!!!!!! (I had expressed my concern that I hoped to not have to wait until sometime next week to hear) Hallelujah!

I decided to wait until Rob got home before taking him off the oxygen. It's been a long haul and we've been through it together, I really wanted to share in the moment together as a family. Abby, Lochlan and I went for a walk one last time with the oxygen tank while we waited for daddy to get home. I had called Rob after school to ask if he was planning on being late and he said he had to make one quick stop but no he should be home soon. I told him why and we decided he'd pick up some yummy supper to celebrate.

A few "before" shots

(Abby and Lochlan have the same expression!! ha ha)

Finally...We shut off the tank. (well Abby did) Such a relief. I was so elated I didn't even have tears of joy. I was beyond happy.

We took some family pics to mark to occasion.

And then I took Lochlan room to room to room because I could! I no longer have to lug around an awkward tank. I can dress him and not have to worry about where the tube is, or how it's tucked or pulling on his skin. I bathed him in the actual bathtub for the very first time! (well the bathtub within the bathtub)

I feel so ...overcome with joy. Our miracle baby is okay. He's just fine. I whispered to him that I was so proud of him and that there are so many possibilities in his future. And that I can't wait for him to discover them. That he is a true warrior.

As I type this, I feel tears welling up. This has been a very long process. I know it is not over. We will be working on getting his puffers weaned in the next 3-4 months. But this is another huge hurdle. I keep thinking back to the first day I went into the hospital and after being told that my water had broke and there was very little fluid around the baby that we could choose to end the pregnancy. Actually they kept bring that up. There was no way we could have done that and I'm so glad that we didn't. For us, that decision was the best for our family and in our hearts. (and thank God, everything has gone the way it has) I know that some families make different choices in the same or similar situations and I am in no way judging them for doing what they need/needed to do. You have to make the best decision possible for yourself, and no one has the right to say any different.

I think about the families that have been through this type of journey or will go through this and the outcome is or will be very different from ours. My heart goes out to you.

And then I think about the journey Lochlan has taken (and us too) and everything that we have been through. We are so blessed and I never take anything for granted. Thank you so much for your prayers. You'll never know how truly wonderful you are and how much you have touched our lives.

Summary: (from what I remember anyway - I've blocked out some of it)
water broke 21weeks, 2 days - minimal fluid in the womb - stayed in 4 weeks
Steroid shots 2 days prior to giving birth to help speed along lung development (or create really)
25weeks + 1 day pro-lapsed cord, born May 5th via emergency c-section 1 pound, 12 ounces, 13 inches long
Intubated, oscillator, self extubatations, Bi-PAP, C-PAP,
Bad infection that I've heard nurses and doctors mention pneumonia when referring to it
a blood infection
Shingles (me)
Moved to pediatrics for quarantine

96 days in hospital
a lot of doctors and nurses taking tremendous care of him
so many family, friends, and strangers praying
1 wonderful and supportive husband
1 amazing, patient, and understanding daughter
1 warrior son


  1. You forgot to mention
    1 unyielding Mother who God trusted to bear and care for this little man, who is meant to be in this world.
    He is a Blessing that God trusted you with! You've done an amazing job!
    I couldn't be more happy for you! and Rob and Abby!
    Go Lochlan

  2. congratulations, there really are no words to describe how that feels, but you wrote it wonderfully. I'm a little teary myself! enjoy your little warrior. I found a quote by Babe Ruth I thought applied to our sons: "It's really hard to beat someone who won't give up." I guess that applies to the moms too. Cheers to us Jenn. We made it.

  3. This is a beautiful post! Soooo happy for all of you!

    So agree - you need to add 1 amazing mommy who believed in herself and her son and did everything she possibly could to bring him into this world safely and take care of him to the best of her ability, regardless of having to lug an oxygen tank around constantly!

    I've been having a bit of PPD the past 24 hours and I think it's because I'm missing the journey with you, with Jenn and Natalie and my special nighttimes with Timmy all to myself. Don't think me crazy, I'm so happy the stress, the worry, the tears and agony of that part are behind us.

    Thank you so much for this post. So great to read something from you and something so wonderful! I think you need to go for another several walks too - without the oxygen - because you can!!!