I am sitting here typing this waiting while Lochlan has eye surgery. I am feeling positive, yet emotional. But I will not allow myself to go there. He is a fighter, is in wonderful hands and he will be fine. And he needs this surgery or he will go blind. (the laser surgery will stop the retina from detaching)
Now let me back up a bit.
Today was spent packing up the house and getting that all organized. Abby spent the day with Nana (thank you Nana!) and had a wonderful day as usual. I spoke with Lochlan's nurse around 10:30am and she suggested I wait to feed him until the 5pm feed so I wasn't rushing trying to get everything done, etc. I agreed. (I have been going in for the 2pm feed)
So Rob and I did our thing and I called on our way to the hospital just prior to 5 o'clock to let them know that we would be there soon. Anne Marie, his nurse said that Dr. ...my brain just went blank....(need sleep) anyway, the doctor was on his way within the hour to check his eyes (Dr. Arthur's colleague) and that if he felt it was necessary, Lochlan would be having the surgery tonight. Therefore, I would not be nursing him when I got there because he needed to have an empty stomach.
My heart sank. Not only did I want to be able to snuggle with my son, and get to nurse him since yesterday's feed he wasn't interested in, but I was not prepared for him to get the surgery done today. "This week" to me, felt like in a day or two when we were told it was going to probably happen.
We ended up waiting for about 45 mins at least for the Dr. to come in and check him. We left the room while his did so and went to visit my sister, Terri who had my nephew, Mason Michael Frederick this morning at 5:29 weighing 8lbs, 15oz! (congrats Terri & Barry, and welcome Mason!) We had about 10 mins or so for a quick visit as we had to head back to see what was going on with Lochlan.
That's when the doctor said that he definitely needed the surgery right away. He is going away for the weekend and it can't wait until Monday. Rob and I had to sign a consent form and then off we went since there are no parents or anyone allowed in the NICU between 6:30-7:30 for shift changes.
They just had to line up an ...oh here we go....anesthesiologist...wow...you don't spell that one everyday. I don't think I got it quite right but hopefully you can try to sound it out to make sense of it. He also would need to be intubated but they were hoping to intubate him, do the procedure, and then extubate him. So my concerns last night were put to a bit of a rest. A bit...So I went off to pick up Abby. (and finally get some food in my belly!)
Once Abby and I were back home and she was settled in bed, I called the hospital and was told that they were aiming for a 9:30pm surgery. I wasn't going to make it before he was taken to the OR. The person putting him under (notice I didn't try to spell it again) by the way had to be called in from home -- thank you "person."
I decided that I would come in right away anyway and visit with Terri, Mason, and Barry. As soon as I got here, I was whisked away by an NICU nurse and told they wanted to see me in the OR right away. Should I panic? Thankfully, the nurse said, I don't think there's any concern, they just want you to sign a consent form or something like that. But all I could think about was, I already signed the consent form.
Needless to say, it was a long walk and elevator ride down to the OR. *sigh of relief* Lochlan was fine and they really did need me to sign a consent form - well at least they thought I did. On the back of the one I signed, it was about blood consent...but I had already signed one previously when he received his first blood transfusion. I was thankful though to get to see him and hold his hand and tell him that mommy loved him and that he was going to do great and be in good hands and that they were going to do a quick thing to fix his eyes and he'd be back to snuggle with mommy in no time. Something like that anyway.
He was pretty mellow as the nurse had given him some sucrolose which has the opposite effect in my opinion...wouldn't you think that giving sugar in any form would make you hyper? Not so much in this case. So he was very sleepy. He's been sleeping a lot lately since yesterday and I'm not going to think about that. Perhaps he's doing a lot of healing and growing and using up his energy for that.
So anyway, here I sit. Anxiously awaiting the doctor to come out and tell me how everything went. It's now 11:07pm....it would have been about 10:00 or so when he went in for his surgery (they were a bit delayed) so I'm expecting to hear anytime. I am sitting in the dark right now, alone in the OR waiting room. Some might find that odd, but I find it oddly comforting.
Praying for Lochlan,
p.s. please come back to this particular post for details of how the surgery went...I will update it either later tonight or early in the morning.
***I've decided to start a new post rather than continue on this one with the details**