Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Prayers please

When we first started this journey we were told that there would be good days and there would be bad days. Today - Lochlan's 4 week birthday, was a not so good day. After yesterday, I was feeling pretty good about everything. He seemed to be moving in the right direction. Today, his secretions started to look a bit yellow. And he had a chest x-ray and it showed some issues which are of concern. They swabbed his secretions and sent it off to the lab for some testing. We won't have the results for 24-48 hours but if they notice any bacteria growing before that, they will not hestitate to start him on antibiotics. He has had to be suctioned every few hours the past few days but the fluid was always clear. So obviously there is a concern that he is fighting something. His oxygen has been in the 50s and above and his bpm (breaths per minute) has been quite high as well. He's definitely having to work a lot harder.

I had a hard time today while I was there. Most days I'm pretty strong. But today I found it difficult to see him and know that he was struggling more than usual and not be able to just pick him up and comfort him. Cause that's what you do when you're a mom - you hold your baby in your arms and tell them everything is going to be alright and they look up at you like, okay mom, and snuggle in. It's extremely hard to just sit and stare at him and the odd time be able to put my hand on his back when I want so desperately to do the things most new moms can do.

When I checked in tonight, his nurse said that his weight went 1015grams...but she's going to do it again because it went way down. Last night it was 1095 grams. His hemoglobin is low too so they are giving him another blood transfusion tonight. (using Rob's blood again)

Today the doctors had decided that he was going have his picc line removed which I was super excited about but then with his stats decreasing and him requring more assistance and intervention, that will be put off for a while until he fights whatever it is that ails him.

So that's where things sit right now. Prayers are definitely needed and greatly appreciated. Thank you.


  1. I will be praying for Lochlan tonight and every night until he is out of these woods. Take care Jennifer. I can't even imagine how hard this is but I can feel my emotions rise up as I read your words and I know this is such a hard journey for you. Take Care.

  2. Hang in there. I have a suggestion that seemed to comfort me at times like this. I have a journal that is full of letters written to my baby. I would sit beside him at the isolette and write down whatever I wanted to say to him. I kind of felt like I was able to convey my support and love when I wasn't allowed to touch him. Just use it as an outlet. I put it in his baby box for him to have later, and see how much we rallied for him to be here. I know nothing can make it better, but it just made me feel like I was doing something.

    Katrina Ryder (Dax's mom)

  3. Thank you both.

    Katrina - that's a great idea. I think I will give it a try.

  4. Hi Jenn, it's Lori and Bernie's sister in law Jen writing. She was here last night and showed me your blog, and told me about your story, I just wanted to say we are thinking of you and praying for Lochlan, and that you and Rob and Abby are holding up ok through all this. Your boy is beautiful. Take care...